Anticipatory Anxiety - how do you ever shut it off????

Forty and anxious · Post by **Forty and anxious** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 1:27 am

This is my biggest challenge. It comes from my childhood. My parents hated each other and I always walked around on eggshells. I protected myself with the anxiety. For example, I knew if I looked forward to a family vacation it would end badly anyways, so I would fret about it until it came.

So now as an adult I have this habit that consumes me. Recently, my husband and I were due to take a trip last week. I was afraid he would get sick before the trip, worried about it for weeks. Then he did and we had to cancel the trip. This has thrown me into heightened anxiety. It's a vicious cycle, because even when good things happen I almost get more anxious.

How do you break this cycle? I try to use the tools in the program, but I find this particularly hard. Any advice would be appreciated.

Martin70 · Post by **Martin70** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:44 am

This is my biggest problem. I've struggled with this since I was a little girl. I hope someone has some words of wisdom for us.....

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:53 am

Hi,

we must be related somehow.(lol). This is my biggest issue when it comes to my anxiety, I can remember as child I always was worrying about everything, even things I did not have to worry about as a child, and I have carried that into my adult life as well. That is what triggers my anxiety.
I have gone through the program twice, the first time was in 2000 and again in 2007. It has helped me understand the anxiety ie signs & symptoms of this disorder, I am no longer afraid of panic attacks, It is this dam anticipatory anxiety that does it to me all the time. I do all the self talk, put up the stop sign, all the things that the program teaches us, but this is my trigger.

I am sorry I havent been much help but want to let you know you are not alone. And I am Forty somthing too.

Maybe we will get some great advice here.

Good luck,

Debbie

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:19 am

Debbie W,
Thanks for your post. It makes me feel good to know that I'm not alone.

Like you, I think this is my biggest challenge. With help of the program, I'm managing the other symptoms faily well (some days better than others, of course!), but this worrying is never ending and creates more anxiety. I worry in my sleep! I'm sorry you go through this also. I know for me it taps my energy. It's very hard to live in the moment, particulary when "bad" things are going on around me - family illness, etc.
Good luck to you also.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:20 pm

I haven't gotten to this lesson yet. if I remember corretly it will be next week. This is a huge issue for me and always has been as far as I remember. I stress over things days and weeks in advance depending on the severity of what the situation is. I think if I can do something about the anticipatory anxiety then my overall anxiety will great decrease. Already, with help of the program it is way down now.

Carolyn Dickman · Post by **Carolyn Dickman** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:01 pm

I have had social anxiety and anticipatory phobia most of my life. All of my adult life, to be sure. God, an incredibly understanding wife, and the program got me through the anxiety part, though admittedly, I still deal with anticipation. But, I do not let it stop me from enjoying life. I always know I'll be fine once I get there (which is always the case for me, at least) so I face the fear and do it anyway. I've gone on 2 wonderful vacations to the east coast, and am looking forward to an upcoming(May?) vacation to Yellowstone. Last one I drove all 3,154 miles! I always have loved to drive, but dang, you talk about therapeutic. Loved every mile of it. Well, anyways, face the fear and do it anyways is the best advice I have. Just know that you'll be just fine when you get there, and you WILL be! Have a great day, Jim