how to get someone out of your house?

cuttingirl · Post by **cuttingirl** » Sun Dec 28, 2008 4:37 pm

I asked my ex-fiancee to leave/ move out of my house (which I own). The problem is, he won't leave. I am afraid to be in the house with him; I am not going to take the risk so I'm staying at a relative's and commuting to work. I don't know what to do; how can I get him to leave? I paid him money, asked him nicely, then not so nicely. Does anyone have any other ideas? I don't know how long this will go on but I want my house back!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Dec 28, 2008 4:48 pm

domestic violence hotline? they may be able to help with the specifics regarding your rights and support in your area. . . i think it applies -- it sounds as if you're afraid to go home to your own house.

good for you for getting to work, recognizing that you need rest to take care of yourself, and reaching out and appreciating family. now deal with this ASAP. it doesn't sound safe, physically, emotionally or even financially.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Dec 28, 2008 5:16 pm

Your ex has no legal right to be in your house. Don't ask him to leave - tell him to leave. Have the locks changed when he isn't there, and put his stuff out on the curb. Informing him of these actions after the fact is optional. Don't inform him ahead of time. Call the police if he shows up and starts any trouble. Call the police again and file a protection from abuse order if he comes back. He hasn't left yet because you haven't shown him you are serious.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Dec 28, 2008 5:17 pm

Girl, I have some legal background and you have a few options:

1. If you are in fear of your "personal safety" and feel you might be harmed physically you can go to the court and request a restraining order aka Order of Protection. This, if it is granted, will make him leave your home and not have any contact with you. If he continues to contact you or wont leave the house, he should be arrested by the local Police for Violation of a Court order.

2. If you just want him out of the house, you can contact the court and have him evicted. This usually takes a few weeks to a month to accomplish..keep in mind that if he is living in your house, by most states laws, you can not just have him leave right away if he wont voluntarily. Im not sure what state you live in, but it is always ok to call the non-emergency police number and ask an Officer some questions to verify my suggestions will work in your state. Good luck and let me know what happens..

Kate is partially right...most states have laws that prevent landlords from kicking people out on the streets for not paying rent etc...because he has been living there, you need to have him evicted to do this legally....Gamer

luv cats · Post by **luv cats** » Sun Dec 28, 2008 5:35 pm

Unfortunately, Gamer is correct...you will probably have to go through the courts if he will not voluntarily leave. Please get the process going as soon as possible since it will take some time. You can get the eviction and order of protection done at the same time. Above all be safe...God bless.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 29, 2008 5:02 am

Hey guys- thank you so very much for the advice. I spoke to him again making statements rather than questions and he is planning to be gone by this weekend. In the meantime, just in case, I took your advice and called the non-emergency police number and asked about my options and the eviction process. I'll go to the courthouse tomorrow (Tuesday) and file the correct forms. I know this is going to work- and I look forward to getting life back together. For three and a half years this relationship has been a huge source of anxiety and depression. The program has helped me learn the new skills I need, taught me how to cope with the anxiety and depression, and has given me the confidence to finally take this step I was too afraid to take before; you know, in one of the later sessions Lucinda talks about getting out there- well, here goes!! Thank you again for your help and advice and Happy New Year!