Anxiety during sex 0-:
I am wondering if anyone else gets this way. . . Sometimes this will happen to me. Not all the time but it has happened with my other boyfriends and my current one so i know this doesn't have to do with my boyfriend now. . its me. I start to feel guilty . . and think about when i was a child and than i feel disgusted. . It's weird. I am old enough to be having sex and it's not like i have done it many times with random people . . I have only had sex with men that I love/d and than I'll get this intense feeling of guilt and disgust. This really bother me. I could make it go into a panic attack bit i don't let it. . sometimes I'll also feel like crying. . This may have to do with my hormones bu on top of that I have anxiety so it's that much worse. . I hate feeling this way. . It makes me feel like I am not interested in my boyfriend anymore. Like I am losing feelings for him . . even though he didn't do anything and it is just my thinking. Anyway, ha anyone ever felt this way?
"Come to me, all who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)"
Holly,
I was wondering why you get disguested and what being a child has to do with it? If you were molested? It would be normal to feel that way. You will have to work on those issues and the anxiety may diminish. I am 30 and been married for 5 years. I myself have felt that way during sex. It is like the whole act starts to disguest me. I have learned that feeling goes away with time. I was molested as a child so I underestand that aspect. Be patient with yourself and don't feel bad if you need to pull away a little to sort out your feelings. If he loves you he will understand. Good luck and take care of you.
Anna
I was wondering why you get disguested and what being a child has to do with it? If you were molested? It would be normal to feel that way. You will have to work on those issues and the anxiety may diminish. I am 30 and been married for 5 years. I myself have felt that way during sex. It is like the whole act starts to disguest me. I have learned that feeling goes away with time. I was molested as a child so I underestand that aspect. Be patient with yourself and don't feel bad if you need to pull away a little to sort out your feelings. If he loves you he will understand. Good luck and take care of you.
Anna
Hi there, I went through a bit of this recently. I just recently lost my virginity to my first serious boyfriend. I'm 24 and still felt the way you did at times. But I can say, I've gotten over it! I think it's about discovering that adult self. It's separate from your younger self. Of course you wouldn't have been engaging in such things at that age, you wouldn't have been driving a car. But your adult self is old enough to drive a car and old enough to be in a intimate relationship. Don't deprive yourself of such things, it's completely natural and it's to be enjoyed with someone you really care about. I find once you let go of that, you can certainly enjoy being with your partner!
I want to share this with any of you that may be interested. This is just the way things happened for me. It may not be the same for anyone else, but this may offer something for anyone else to think about.
I am 46 and my sexual activities began when I was 16. Before I met my husband, I was active only with men that I felt love for. There weren't a lot of them. I learned that every time I approved one of those individuals taking from me, I lost a small piece of myself, a little each time. They took because they offered nothing in return. They may have felt something for me, but their intentions were not serious and there was no commitment. So I gave, they returned nothing, and when they left, they took me with them, and that is lost from me now.
A commitment is when someone is willing to stay with you and LOVE you in every situation. When you are sad, happy, sick, ugly, fat, skinny, mental, angry, hurt, rejecting, disapproving, accepting, etc. etc. I have had some of the ugliest days of my life with my husband and he is still here. He's been with me for 19 years, through it all. He has felt the loss of his own health, financial comforts, family relationships, and many other experiences during our marriage/relationship. But he is still here. I give to him and he has given back and I don't lose myself anymore. It is a relationship where we nourish each other instead of stripping each other dry.
Another piece of my problem is that I did not have a healthy relationship with my father and brothers. No, there was no molesting. My experience of them was very old fashioned. My father was born in 1930 and is VERY old school. He believes that women and children are "better seen and not heard". They don't have the right to speak their mind, opinions, or have feelings. And any feelings that they do have is quickly ridiculed and unjustified and dismissed with one low shot comment and dirty look. And he taught this to my brothers, so they treated me the same way. I was ganged up on from the time I was a young child - like around 5 or 6 years old. If any of you have children, as I do, you will understand how sick this is and how arrogant and unreasonable this is. I could NEVER do this to my little girl. And my husband would never do this either. I think that's what I really love about him. He does NOT act this way. THANK GOD!!! So one might understand why my relationships with men are challenging for me. I just don't have a history of positive experiences with the men in my own family, so it's difficult to understand what it would be like with someone who is actually human.
I feel that when you feel nourished from someone, the icky sex feelings go away and it becomes something you look forward to and feel comforted and nourished from. It becomes a celebration for both.
My life is not perfect. Like many people, I still live with discomforts and sadness. But I no longer have men taking from me and my future is much brighter than it use to be. I also want to say that when I started paying closer attention to God and Jesus' lessons, my life became even more bright with a positive future ahead.
Like I mentioned, this is my own experience. Hope my lessons are helpful to others here.
Eileen
I am 46 and my sexual activities began when I was 16. Before I met my husband, I was active only with men that I felt love for. There weren't a lot of them. I learned that every time I approved one of those individuals taking from me, I lost a small piece of myself, a little each time. They took because they offered nothing in return. They may have felt something for me, but their intentions were not serious and there was no commitment. So I gave, they returned nothing, and when they left, they took me with them, and that is lost from me now.
A commitment is when someone is willing to stay with you and LOVE you in every situation. When you are sad, happy, sick, ugly, fat, skinny, mental, angry, hurt, rejecting, disapproving, accepting, etc. etc. I have had some of the ugliest days of my life with my husband and he is still here. He's been with me for 19 years, through it all. He has felt the loss of his own health, financial comforts, family relationships, and many other experiences during our marriage/relationship. But he is still here. I give to him and he has given back and I don't lose myself anymore. It is a relationship where we nourish each other instead of stripping each other dry.
Another piece of my problem is that I did not have a healthy relationship with my father and brothers. No, there was no molesting. My experience of them was very old fashioned. My father was born in 1930 and is VERY old school. He believes that women and children are "better seen and not heard". They don't have the right to speak their mind, opinions, or have feelings. And any feelings that they do have is quickly ridiculed and unjustified and dismissed with one low shot comment and dirty look. And he taught this to my brothers, so they treated me the same way. I was ganged up on from the time I was a young child - like around 5 or 6 years old. If any of you have children, as I do, you will understand how sick this is and how arrogant and unreasonable this is. I could NEVER do this to my little girl. And my husband would never do this either. I think that's what I really love about him. He does NOT act this way. THANK GOD!!! So one might understand why my relationships with men are challenging for me. I just don't have a history of positive experiences with the men in my own family, so it's difficult to understand what it would be like with someone who is actually human.
I feel that when you feel nourished from someone, the icky sex feelings go away and it becomes something you look forward to and feel comforted and nourished from. It becomes a celebration for both.
My life is not perfect. Like many people, I still live with discomforts and sadness. But I no longer have men taking from me and my future is much brighter than it use to be. I also want to say that when I started paying closer attention to God and Jesus' lessons, my life became even more bright with a positive future ahead.
Like I mentioned, this is my own experience. Hope my lessons are helpful to others here.
Eileen

I dont know why you think of childhood days unless you were molested. Thats kind of unusual.
Are you sure you werent molested? Maybe younger than you can remember? As far as the crying goes,I`ve been there. I think that we are so stressed out all the time that the sex releases alot of tension and thats how it comes out.(in tears).
Are you sure you werent molested? Maybe younger than you can remember? As far as the crying goes,I`ve been there. I think that we are so stressed out all the time that the sex releases alot of tension and thats how it comes out.(in tears).
Holly,
Its kind of coincidental that you write a topic about this. Last night my boyfriend and I had sex, and afterwards I started having really bad anxiety symptoms. My mouth went all dry, my heart was racing and I felt like I was going to pass out. It was like I just ran a marathon. About a 15 minute marathon lol. anyone elsee experience this?
Its kind of coincidental that you write a topic about this. Last night my boyfriend and I had sex, and afterwards I started having really bad anxiety symptoms. My mouth went all dry, my heart was racing and I felt like I was going to pass out. It was like I just ran a marathon. About a 15 minute marathon lol. anyone elsee experience this?
hello everyone, I would like to share my experience about this topic. I have had similiar episodes during sexual intercouse.I lost my viginity at around 23 yes old, I am now 29 yrs old. THe fist time it wasn't so bad for me and there was no guilt involved, but when my boyfriend at the time wanted to have sex with me on another occasion,it made me extremely uncomfortable to the extent that i would cry.He couldn't understand my outbust and asked why the sudden tears...i had told him i was feeling quilty, and knowing that i wasn't married to him made me feel bad. This has gone on for 6 yrs now and i find that most men want to get intimate when in a relationship, which i have strayed from as a result of sex
. You might call it fear of intimacy or fear of relationship..but I am hoping that we can all get through this condition one day.
God bless.

God bless.

Hi Holly,
I can honestly say that I have a good grasp on the concept of how you feel. I've felt very similar during sex often throughout the years. Being a male it was a little too odd for me to try and talk to another male friend about.
The two serious relationships I had I would often in the middle of sex just suddenly get an overwhelming sense of depression and disgust (as you spoke of). I could myself never explain it, but wow was it overpowering. It still happens up until now. I used to thing it was my fault and that I was wrong for feeling that way, but I know I don't want to feel that way.
I was never molested or anything like that in my life, so I don't know the exact cause of it. I just thought you should know you definitely aren't alone in this.
-Dustin
I can honestly say that I have a good grasp on the concept of how you feel. I've felt very similar during sex often throughout the years. Being a male it was a little too odd for me to try and talk to another male friend about.
The two serious relationships I had I would often in the middle of sex just suddenly get an overwhelming sense of depression and disgust (as you spoke of). I could myself never explain it, but wow was it overpowering. It still happens up until now. I used to thing it was my fault and that I was wrong for feeling that way, but I know I don't want to feel that way.
I was never molested or anything like that in my life, so I don't know the exact cause of it. I just thought you should know you definitely aren't alone in this.
-Dustin