just a thought

r.michelle · Post by **r.michelle** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:39 am

I have been up for almost three days which is not uncommon for me. I self medicate with liquor. I think I am at the end of my rope....I was supose to do our 10 year old daughters Christmas party this last Monday....and forgot because of my drinking. I have checked out the AA infomation on line and it seems good. I was just wanted to know if anyone has done both programs at the same time and also if anyone has had to try to undo something that you feel so bad about....my daughters teacher will not call me and the other kids said some really mean things to her....I want better for myself and my children, but where to start...I really just want to stay in my house and not face anyone.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:05 am

Hi r.michelle,

I'm so sorry you are having such a bad time. I used to self medicate with liquor but it got way out of control so I stopped. What I started to do was wean myself off. I started just drinking beer or wine and not hard liquor. And I slowly decreased my intake. Now, I rarely drink. I would say I drink maybe twice a month and even then, I don't drink much. It sounds like you are ready to take that step but just afraid to do it. You have to do it for yourself. How about just trying it for a month and see how you feel? I can promise you that your body and your mind will feel soooooo much better. And actually, alcohol, especially hard liquor, causes anxiety. Good luck. I'm here if you need me.

Ocean · Post by **Ocean** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 9:24 am

Well as of 12:00 it has been 72 hours since I drank. I have looked into AA and am leaving here to go speak with my daughters teacher. When I have had these binges I will not leave the house and do not want to leave for 4 or 5 after I stop. I did week two and I am going to face my fear talk to the teacher, call AA and keep up with the program....I have to. Thank-you for your words and I encourage everyone to post back to people I am here a lot right now because I need everyone.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 9:48 am

r.michelle,
thank you for sharing. when i came across your posting..it really reminded me of myself. I have self-medicated with liquor. I shut the world out and turn off my brain.. i pay a heavy price when i do this. nothing gets resolved, and I am more depressed when I sober up. I am trying to avoid abusing liquor, and I have been forcing myself to go to the gym. I want to change for the better. If you need someone to talk to.I am hear, and I can relate.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 12:35 pm

Thank-you....Posting here and admitting to my husband have been the hardest things I have ever done....I encourage everyone whom suffer like I do to post PLEASE...we can help each other. In regaurds to the teacher thing and facing that fear...WOW was I having a panic attack..I cried when I talked to her and like someone else said 90% of the bad we think is going to happen does not....true in my case...normal for me would be to still be in my house shut down for about 5 more days....I faced the fear I have of judgement and tonight I am more calm then I have been in days...I also visit here a lot to remind myself there is true help out there. Oh, and the teacher and I agreed that help was good and our daughters feelings were so important that she talked to her. I have come to see a lot of my stuff is also my own discouragement in myself...Keep in touch I have gained sooooo much courage from all posts.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:55 pm

r.michelle
I am soooo proud of you! I have been sober for 5 years now

I couldn't do it on my own. (liquor is tuff to kick) I went to "Father Martins Ashley" in Aberdeen Maryland. What a beautiful, wonderful place. After your there for a month you dont want to leave. I recommend the place highly. My life has changed dramatically. You are on your way.