The reason for this post is to let you all know just where my "head" has been in the last four days! I believe for ONCE I'm finding it easier to "cope" with this stuff and move past it for GOOD! I'm beginning to realize just how true it is that WE do have control our own thinking/attitude. We choose the thoughts that we entertain. Without a doubt, strange thoughts do pop up even for the "normal" folks.(really, what's "normal"?) However, us with anxiety, we CHOOSE to dwell on them, fear them and feel bad about them. I have learned that my waking moment attitude depends on what my thoughts were upon going to sleep the night before. I have made it a habit to tell myself everynight that I am okay, that it's just anxiety and I am getting better everyday! I'm convinced that this kind of thinking is helping me and further more, it's helped me even while I'm dreaming(I get scary dreams when my anxiety level is high) Now, when I wake up, I welcome the day and tell myself "self, this is going to be a great & productive day". I'm not saying that I don't get a little anxious every now and then, I'm saying that I'm focusing more on combating those negative feelings/thoughts with positive ones. That's what this program is all about right?
Something interesting that I've starting to understand about myself, is that I am naturally a very energetic person, however, since having the twins, I'm actually feeling bored..Okay, I know that doesn't sound very nice, but please let me explain( LOL..Just like me to always feel I need to explain myself) It sounds worse than what it really is.. Bored as in, I want to get things done in the house that we've been neglecting for months because the twins are at the age where they get into everything(yep terrible twos have started LOL) so therefore, we (hubby and I) find that it's just easier to put up the child safety gates and spend most of our day entertaining them, reading, watching kiddy movies, etc) therefore the things that I want to get done are being neglected. I know that spending time with your children is the MOST important, but I'm trying to figure out(twins are a whole different situation by the way) just when to break away from that same old routine and allow them to venture out (some freedom)so I can do the things that I want to do(such as clean,organize, etc) so for all you stay at home parents, any advice would be GREATLY appreciated right about NOW LOL...
Anyways... I KNOW now where the negativity/depression is coming from, and it actually feels good that I've figured it out! I know this is a phase and this too shall pass. Mommy blues, call it what you will.. Sorry this is such a long post, but as always, it feels good to let it out! I'm getting it guys
YEAHHHHHH!!! So, on that note, hope all is well! baby steps, one day at a time, smell the roses, don't miss today blessings because our focus is on the "what ifs".... take care and God bless!
Robin
Rose- I'm elated to hear that shortly enough, this will start getting easier- as in being able to just check in on them while I do some cleaning etc. Yes, twins are different(as again, I've had four older children-prev. marriage) and this is SOOOO different! But I love them to death, I'm just needing more "me" time to do the things us Mommas(or daddys) do. yea know? anyways, thanks, I appreciate the responses! take care and God bless