hi.....i am going through a really difficult time right now. i have been dealing with anxiety for about two years now. in the beginning i was mainly focused on my health and had many panic attacks and physical symptoms of anxiety. i was afraid that i would just drop dead. now, after seeing many doctors i have come to the realization that i probably am not going to drop dead. however, i have now become consumed with an empty feeling and racing thoughts. i feel as if i cannot just turn my mind off. i am really worried that i am going to go crazy or something.....i just don't feel like myself at all. i had to watch a film for a class last night about two killers and all i could think was oh my gosh what if i do something awful like that? is this normal with anxiety or am i really going crazy? i am 22 and graduating from college in a month and going to be starting my life, and i am feeling awful. i am so afraid. i have been with my boyfriend for almost four years now and he has been my rock throughout all of this, but now i am even questioning my relationship with him. i feel detached from him and like i cannot remember how i feel when i am with him (we only see each other on the weekends). this feeling is terrifying me. i just want to be happy and be rid of all the scary thoughts that i have been having. i was on lexapro for about a year but went off of it last fall.....should i go back to the medication? it helped some....
please, any advice would be great....i really need it. sorry this was so long....thank you.
advice needly badly....please help.
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Guest
Cara,
I know what you mean about feeling like you are going to just drop dead. I went through the same thing. I too have come to the realization that that probably will not happen. You should be very proud of yourself that you will be graduating from college even with anxiety. I too have had it for a few years. I literally had to make myself go to classes. I graduated too. It was a major accomplishment. I think if the lexapro helped it might be a wise decision to go back on it. It might help you get through this rough spot. I was on effexor xr for two years. I was doing so wonderfully that I thought I was cured. I quit taking it and four months later the anxiety is back. I am now on cymbalta. I know the program doesn't really encourage taking meds but I truly believe that some people really need them. As far as you and your boyfriend, could it be that you have realized that you are at a turning point in your relationship? You've been together a long time. Deep down are you wondering if he is the one? This caused a lot of anxiety for me several years ago. I don't know if anything I said will help, but I wish you the best.
I know what you mean about feeling like you are going to just drop dead. I went through the same thing. I too have come to the realization that that probably will not happen. You should be very proud of yourself that you will be graduating from college even with anxiety. I too have had it for a few years. I literally had to make myself go to classes. I graduated too. It was a major accomplishment. I think if the lexapro helped it might be a wise decision to go back on it. It might help you get through this rough spot. I was on effexor xr for two years. I was doing so wonderfully that I thought I was cured. I quit taking it and four months later the anxiety is back. I am now on cymbalta. I know the program doesn't really encourage taking meds but I truly believe that some people really need them. As far as you and your boyfriend, could it be that you have realized that you are at a turning point in your relationship? You've been together a long time. Deep down are you wondering if he is the one? This caused a lot of anxiety for me several years ago. I don't know if anything I said will help, but I wish you the best.
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Guest
I understand your feelings. I have suffered from anxiety since I was about 18 years old, and I am now 37. I just took my last Effexor XR today, and am feeling okay. I am not nervous about what is going to happen, but I was pretty nervous the last four or five days. When I get bad, I am scared of everything I watch on television, everything that people say to me, etc. I don't watch many movies or television anymore because it just will get me too worked up.
You are not going crazy and you will not die. It is just anxiety and it will pass. You may need some medicine for a time while you are working through this program, if you own it.
Take one day at a time. If that is still too scary, take one hour at a time. If that is still too scary, take one minute at a time. I often just make myself live in the moment I am in. You can turn off the thoughts, somewhat, but it takes time and practice. Do not give up. Do not give in. You are graduating from college, which means you can stick with stuff. You can overcome this.
You are not going crazy and you will not die. It is just anxiety and it will pass. You may need some medicine for a time while you are working through this program, if you own it.
Take one day at a time. If that is still too scary, take one hour at a time. If that is still too scary, take one minute at a time. I often just make myself live in the moment I am in. You can turn off the thoughts, somewhat, but it takes time and practice. Do not give up. Do not give in. You are graduating from college, which means you can stick with stuff. You can overcome this.
Cara,
I am the mother of 3 they are 29, 26 and 23. I can remember especially the girls going through the phase of worrying whatever ailment they had it was terminal. I went through the same thing at that age. But I think the anxiety adds to the intensity. Can you talk to your counselor about this (if you are seeing one). I am new to this program so I don't have any words of wisdom about it but I have heard it is fantastic. Don't do what I did I lived with it for many years i only wish I would have had this program back then. I wasted a lot of years hiding it from everyone. My world got smaller and smaller. Not to mention I became so obsessed with my anxiety that I was not emotionaly available to anyone. I would intentionaly find reasons why the boyfriend wasn't going to work out. Truth be told I just wanted to dump him before he found out how severe my anxiety issues were and dumped me. You said you watched a film about two killers and it worried you. In my high levels of panic I would worry, what if I....whatever I saw on television etc. One of the things about this level of panic and anxiety/depression is it magnifies our level of thinking we have no control over our lives. But we really do. So when we see something horrible and think what if I do that, it only feeds that part of us that thinks we have no control. If you really think about it the feelings of panic and anxiety are the same feelings of loss of control. You will not die from it and you will not go crazy. You are not alone. Reach out just like you did in this letter, get on line with the rest of us and chat and you will finds oodles of support. I had to go on an anti-depressant while I worked on all of this. To be totally honest with you I was soooo afraid of ever having another panic attack that I have stayed on them for 15 years and have just recently gone down to the smallest dose and I am ready to get a handle on this and move on. We need to retrain our brains into problem solving with the tools they give us. We react instead of act. We need to be on the offense not the defense. I am sure you can do this you went through school feeling like this and still did it....hurray for you!! Join us at the live chat and get support. Your boyfriend sounds really nice to be there for you. A lot of guys couldn't be bothered with this. God Bless and Keep you Close. Kathleen
I am the mother of 3 they are 29, 26 and 23. I can remember especially the girls going through the phase of worrying whatever ailment they had it was terminal. I went through the same thing at that age. But I think the anxiety adds to the intensity. Can you talk to your counselor about this (if you are seeing one). I am new to this program so I don't have any words of wisdom about it but I have heard it is fantastic. Don't do what I did I lived with it for many years i only wish I would have had this program back then. I wasted a lot of years hiding it from everyone. My world got smaller and smaller. Not to mention I became so obsessed with my anxiety that I was not emotionaly available to anyone. I would intentionaly find reasons why the boyfriend wasn't going to work out. Truth be told I just wanted to dump him before he found out how severe my anxiety issues were and dumped me. You said you watched a film about two killers and it worried you. In my high levels of panic I would worry, what if I....whatever I saw on television etc. One of the things about this level of panic and anxiety/depression is it magnifies our level of thinking we have no control over our lives. But we really do. So when we see something horrible and think what if I do that, it only feeds that part of us that thinks we have no control. If you really think about it the feelings of panic and anxiety are the same feelings of loss of control. You will not die from it and you will not go crazy. You are not alone. Reach out just like you did in this letter, get on line with the rest of us and chat and you will finds oodles of support. I had to go on an anti-depressant while I worked on all of this. To be totally honest with you I was soooo afraid of ever having another panic attack that I have stayed on them for 15 years and have just recently gone down to the smallest dose and I am ready to get a handle on this and move on. We need to retrain our brains into problem solving with the tools they give us. We react instead of act. We need to be on the offense not the defense. I am sure you can do this you went through school feeling like this and still did it....hurray for you!! Join us at the live chat and get support. Your boyfriend sounds really nice to be there for you. A lot of guys couldn't be bothered with this. God Bless and Keep you Close. Kathleen
ANGELS CAN FLY BECAUSE THEY TAKE THEMSELVES LIGHTLY
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Enlightened
- Posts: 35
- Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 8:15 pm
Hi, Cara--congratulations on your college graduation approaching, how exciting! I have had anxiety for about 5 years now, and am 32. Mine has always been health focused. I have been on and off medications, and there have been times when I got off them too soon. Is it possible that you are just not ready yet to be off your meds? I know we always feel like we should be getting off of medication as soon as possible, but if you need it, and it helps, there is no shame in that. I personally could not be without my medications at this time, and that is okay. I'll wean off them when my doctors and I think I am ready. If you felt better with them, maybe discuss it with your doctor?
Keep us posted---Tara
Keep us posted---Tara
Enlightened
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Guest
Good Morning Cara, I'm still pretty new at this myself, but the first thing I realized was I am not alone, that I am normal, but like you I have a hard time shutting my mind off too. I've been up now for two hrs. Way before I have to get ready for work. It feels like physically I'm always reaching out to grab brain or mind cause it's always trying to run away, like a little puppy trying to run off without a leash. And what really sucks is that when I go to bed I am up 5 hrs. later why? I haven't a clue, but I can tell you one thing, my mind is going 90 to nothing. In my sceond week on the program, I'm so tempted to have a drink and say screw it, but I really do want to feel better, so I will keep tredging, you can do, like the program says it takes time, I'm 46 yrs. And I have self medicated for years. Well I finally got tired of that and want to get control back. Stay strong you can do it. Take Care and stay Safe
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Guest
Cara,
I know exactly where you are coming from.. There is no shame in being on meds, some people can never go off of them and thats ok. As for the racing thoughts, try and put a stop sign up when you get one and talk calmly to yourself and breath deeply for 2 secs. and out through the mouth for 4 secs. Hope this helps.
Candi
I know exactly where you are coming from.. There is no shame in being on meds, some people can never go off of them and thats ok. As for the racing thoughts, try and put a stop sign up when you get one and talk calmly to yourself and breath deeply for 2 secs. and out through the mouth for 4 secs. Hope this helps.
Candi