Shallowing my pride

Footprints18 · Post by **Footprints18** » Fri Jan 02, 2009 6:01 pm

Hello Everyone and Happy new year!

Over the past 2 years I have battle my inner issues. My life has been pretty good. I have never been physically been hurt. To everyone on the outside I looked perfect. I seemed to have everything go for me. I always had many people surrounded by me. I was great in sports and actually still play in college. I am funny and very outgoing. But no one was ready, not even me..for the truth of my life. Both of my parents were diagnosed a few years apart with terminal cancer (stage four)--mom:colon. dad:head and neck. I thought I was fine..ya know..planning their funerals..because I was PERFECT AND BLESSED..in everyone elses' eyes. I was 12-19..and I showed no emotion--except when I watched "Touched by an angel" or my gurl Oprah. With Gods grace..both of my parents survived the odds. One day your parents are going to die..to "THERE IS A MIRACLE--and you should feel blessed. I did not cope with my fears and anxiety because I felt that I had no right to be sad because they are fine. So I suppressed everything. During that same time period..a friend died and my boy friends' brother. I still THOUGHT i was fine. Finally..I had a nervous breakdown Nov 7. 2006. My obsessive scary thoughts about my morals and identity caused me to be hospitalized. Since then..I have improved greatly. My panic attacks are very rare and "light". Sooo..once again I should be greatful, and I am but...

I have admitted to myself that I still do have a problem. I still can not function the way I want to. I can't get up most days when I don't have class. I don't take care of myself the way I should. And even though I have accomplished SOOO many things----I am shallowing my pride and admitting that I still need help.

Thanks for listening
Any comments are great!!

Sammy <3

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 02, 2009 11:23 pm

Hi, Footprints!

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It is very inspiring to know that you have conquered your panick attacks! You should be proud of your accomplishment!

Whenever I feel like I can't completely function and am not taking care of myself, I know I'm feeling some depression. Is it possible that you might be depressed?

Perhaps you could benefit from some talk therapy. Sometimes it's nice to have someone who is not in our lives on a daily basis to talk to--no judgment, no vested interests, just someone to talk to. Is there someone on campus that you can talk to?

I wish you luck! It takes a lot of courage to admit that you need help, and I hope that you find what you're looking for. We're all here for you! It's time to take care of you.

Genie

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:20 am

Thanks Genie!!

Yeah, I do see a counselor on campus. She is great!!!! That is what helped me heal as much as I have. I guess I just have to learn how to start taking care of myself again.