I was wondering...any feedback?
If someone talked down to you or said very rude, disrespectful things to you because they are insecure and unhappy in their lives, would that give you anxiety? Words that aren't true and just completely irrelevant...Why is it thats some people will say the ugliest things? Those words give me anxiety!
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Guest
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Guest
Hi CG,
Yes if someone talks to me in a rude and demeaning way I can become anxious. I think because I get angry if someone does that and if there is not a safe way to express the anger, it results in panic. The way to stop it is to be assertive and not let people talk to us like that so I use "I" messages..."When you did this (talked rudely to me)...I felt (angry)...because (I did not deserve that.") This way you are owning your own feelings instead of saying "You are rude or so out of line" which immediately puts someone on the defense. They cannot argue with how you feel. Those are your feelings and they have a right to be acknowledged. I do think people act like that because they may be insecure or may not even be aware of how they come off to others. I also try to think about what may be going on in their lives that could cause them to behave that way which sometimes softens the intensity. Or maybe they are just unhappy and miserable people in which case, try to avoid them as much as possible. We have to learn not to let others have so much impact on how we feel. God knows we (anxious people) are overly sensitive to begin with and beat ourselves up. Nobody has to do it to us because we do a fine job on ourselves. If we allow people to make us feel bad, it just reinforces some of the negative thoughts we nay already have. So when we feel stronger, more positive and more in control of our emotions, we are able to stand up for ourselves better. Good luck and I hope this helps a little. Take care of yourself because you are worth it.
Yes if someone talks to me in a rude and demeaning way I can become anxious. I think because I get angry if someone does that and if there is not a safe way to express the anger, it results in panic. The way to stop it is to be assertive and not let people talk to us like that so I use "I" messages..."When you did this (talked rudely to me)...I felt (angry)...because (I did not deserve that.") This way you are owning your own feelings instead of saying "You are rude or so out of line" which immediately puts someone on the defense. They cannot argue with how you feel. Those are your feelings and they have a right to be acknowledged. I do think people act like that because they may be insecure or may not even be aware of how they come off to others. I also try to think about what may be going on in their lives that could cause them to behave that way which sometimes softens the intensity. Or maybe they are just unhappy and miserable people in which case, try to avoid them as much as possible. We have to learn not to let others have so much impact on how we feel. God knows we (anxious people) are overly sensitive to begin with and beat ourselves up. Nobody has to do it to us because we do a fine job on ourselves. If we allow people to make us feel bad, it just reinforces some of the negative thoughts we nay already have. So when we feel stronger, more positive and more in control of our emotions, we are able to stand up for ourselves better. Good luck and I hope this helps a little. Take care of yourself because you are worth it.
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Guest
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Guest