Lately I have been feeling like my life has just passed me by and is continuing to pass me by. I feel like I missed out on so much that now I am wanting to get all those years back. I am starting to think a lot of my resentment, anger, etc. towards my husband is based on this. I cannot blame him for the choices I made in my life, yet I want to. I keep finding myself thinking, has I dated other men, I wouldn't be so unhappy now, had I gone away to college instead of just commuted, I wouldn't be so unhappy now, had I lived on my own a while before getting married, I would not be so unhappy now, had I waited to get married and have children, I would not be so unhappy now, had I chased this dream or that dream, I would not be so unhappy now. See the pattern?
I know what-ifs and should-haves are bad bad. But, what if there is something to that. What if we reached the point we are at now because of all the choices we made, the wrong choices possibly. But, now, married with children, a mortgage, responsibilities, etc. it is too late to go back and relive all those years.
How do you ever feel satisified in your current place in life if you feel like you should be somwhere else?
Something's Missing
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Guest
Funny you should say that. I actually regret dating and wish I'd met my husband early. I think a lot of that dating has had a negative effect on my marital life, in some ways. I only went to a trade school and got an AA degree and wish I'd continued, but my anxiety and hate of school played a huge role in that.
I think we are all exactly where we should be and we need to look at our experiences and/or lack of experiences, our triumphs and our regrets together as a benefit to us, as they have helped to shape us to be who we are. I also don't think there is one person who hasn't had those same thoughts, whether they want to admit it or not.
We would be happiest to embrace who we are and how we came to be. We may have to learn to embrace though, that's part of the process.
I think we are all exactly where we should be and we need to look at our experiences and/or lack of experiences, our triumphs and our regrets together as a benefit to us, as they have helped to shape us to be who we are. I also don't think there is one person who hasn't had those same thoughts, whether they want to admit it or not.
We would be happiest to embrace who we are and how we came to be. We may have to learn to embrace though, that's part of the process.
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Guest
try to think about what you want now and how you can get it. start to make small changes in the life you are leading to accomadate some of your goals.
do you want to go back to school?
start taking a night class or an art class or a fitness class and really get involved in it.
do you wish you had more of your own space at home?
start looking around your house and find a small nook or corner to clear out and create a little oasis for yourself, put your favorite books on a shelf or even stacked in a cool pile on the floor, put some candles in the corner, put a favorite picture there, find a plant that you like, put something in your space that represents a hobby you want to start doing (like a camera, or a journal, or a running magazine or a cook book, or a paint brush and some paints)
do you want to go see parts of the world?
if you can't afford it, take mini-vacations with your kids on the weekend and go hike at a nearby park or get some rollarblades or go check out some local museums that you've never been to.
post things on here that you feel like you want to do and see if others have suggestions for how you can incorporate them into your own world right now.
think of all the things you want to do as a journey and really enjoy the journey. no matter what time goes by and all we can do is live in the moment. make choices now that make you happy.
peace and love to you!
do you want to go back to school?
start taking a night class or an art class or a fitness class and really get involved in it.
do you wish you had more of your own space at home?
start looking around your house and find a small nook or corner to clear out and create a little oasis for yourself, put your favorite books on a shelf or even stacked in a cool pile on the floor, put some candles in the corner, put a favorite picture there, find a plant that you like, put something in your space that represents a hobby you want to start doing (like a camera, or a journal, or a running magazine or a cook book, or a paint brush and some paints)
do you want to go see parts of the world?
if you can't afford it, take mini-vacations with your kids on the weekend and go hike at a nearby park or get some rollarblades or go check out some local museums that you've never been to.
post things on here that you feel like you want to do and see if others have suggestions for how you can incorporate them into your own world right now.
think of all the things you want to do as a journey and really enjoy the journey. no matter what time goes by and all we can do is live in the moment. make choices now that make you happy.
peace and love to you!