Anxious about socializing with my friends

CathyB · Post by **CathyB** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 4:10 am

Hi everyone. I was invited to go out with my friends to listen to a comedian the other night. I thought about it all day and it was the late show so we were going to be up later than usual. The whole thing just freaked me out. We met them at a restaurant and then went to the venue of the comedian. My husband could tell that I was not thrilled to be there and he was bummed out cuz I was not happy....anyway we went to the show, I was anxious at first but it passed and the comedian was great! Not too crude and very funny! I had a good time. I have always loved doing stuff with my friends. Being axious about it really ticks me off, but I worked through it and went and it was good. Hope everyone is experiencing little victories too! You know what they say, " how do you eat an elephant?" "one bite at a time!" Good luck and prayers to all!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 4:54 am

Cathy, I know exactly what you mean about feeling anxious before going out with your friends. I feel the same way EVERY single time before I go out. And a lot of times I just WONT go out. Do you feel it is because they are judging you or what do you feel is the problem??

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 4:03 am

Hi Natii, I don't know what the problem is. I think anytime I get out of my routine it bother me and i get anxious about it. My husband is pretty good about not letting me stay immersed in it and we go do stuff anyway. I don't take any medication, I am a vitamin freak so I just take my Bach Flower remedies with me and we go do stuff. What about you?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:10 am

Hi Cathy -

Do your friends know that you struggle with anxiety? If not, you may want to take one or more of them into your confidence. I find that it's much less anxiety-provoking to be with people who know what I'm dealing with.

I hope you feel better.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Oct 14, 2009 10:45 am

Getting out of routine will make you nervous. What is Bach Flower? I dont think I have ever heard of it before. Does it calm you down?

I think Christian is right about telling your friends about your anxiety. It will help you feel more at ease. My problem is is that I always think my friends are judging me, their eyes are always on me and its constant. I always am self concious. It's like a bunch of voices that will not go away. So frustrating.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Oct 14, 2009 11:09 am

Congratulations, Cathy!!! This is not a little victory. It is a BIG victory, and, also, it is exactly what you need to do to overcome your anxiety over going out with friends. It is very common. You go and you handle the anxiety. Using Bach is great. It's a tool also. Using your breath and keeping your attention on it from time to time. Focusing on the conversation in the group is another wonderful tool (completely ignoring the scare voice in this way). Noticing the weather around you. Focusing on the comedian, on the movie, on whatever is taking place in that moment.

Deliberately go out with your friends more often. Make the plans on a weekly basis infact. Know that you are putting yourself in an anxious situation on purpose so that you can heal from this fear. Be patient. You may have to do this many times but you have the tools, Cathy, to handle it and help you get through.

And, yes, I want to add, Christian is absolutely right. It is so freeing to share what you are going through. No hiding. No secrets. It's called acceptance of yourself.

Fantastic!!!