Hoping some of you will be able to help with some advice and/or support.
Okay, here's what I am struggling with. One of my top fears is that there is something wrong with my heart. A few years ago I started noticing palpitations and skipped beats which I allowed to really get my goat. I got so freaked out and miserable and convinced that I was about to die I finally gave in and went to a cardiologist. Was terrified to go but got to the point where I had to do something. I was no longer able to convince myself that I was okay. So, off I go. They do an EKG and an echocardiogram. EKG normal but they misread my echo and come back and tell my that my heart function was really bad and they could "give me some quality of life with medication" Well, you can imagine the levels my anxiety went to then. To confirm the diagnosis I had to go in for a nuclear study. Well, that came back normal and it was discovered that they had misread my echo.... big oops, right? Well, needless to say I never went back to that doc again. Left vastly relieved but scarred from the whole experience. Okay, here we are to present time.
Got very ill this last year which ramped up the anxiety and health fears. Started having sharp, localized pain in left chest. I could press on the area and reproduce the pain so I knew it wasn't cardiac. But, it was unrelenting and after 3 weeks lost the ability to convince myself I was okay. I never had any shortness of breath or nausea or any classic cardiac symptoms. But, got so upset about it that I went to the doctor, my local GP. Terrified of what he was going to say. Well, turns out that I have costochondritis which is part of the viral garbage I am still recovering from. We did an EKG which came out perfectly fine. I went home relieved and happy. The chest pain continued but I was able to tell myself that I was okay and it was just the costochondritis. Well, it's been 4 weeks and my damn brain has stopped believing that I am okay. The pain moves around and today I had a sharp pain which triggered a little panic response and my heart rate went up which I attached to the chest pain and ended scared and almost in tears.
I need to know what anyone has done when they start losing the battle with anxiety. When self talk and logic stops working... I DO NOT want to go back to the doctor. Not because I am scared to go but because my logical, conscious mind KNOWS that I am okay. I am just struggling with stopping the panic response. It's got me constantly monitoring my body, constantly evaluating every sensation. I just researched heart attacks (and upset that I have turned to Dr. Google again) and have none of the symptoms. Try convincining my brain of that. So, I battle the ER fantasies and catastrophic thoughts and the growing despair that my life is being ruined by this blankety-blank fear.
I am just so discouraged. Hope someone can help with this particular fear.
Heart fear... who struggles with it, too?
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Guest
hot rod im like you alot. i am always stressing that smething is wrong with my heart. ever since i had a hugee panic attack when i was 17 an thought i was dying i've always thought smething was wrong with my heart. still too this day i always feel uncomfortable, like i always have heartburn and uncomfy in my chest. ive had ekgs,blood work and chest xrays and nothings showed up but i still cant get past the physical feeling i feel everyday. i get a sharp pain in my chest and i stress on it . i feel every physical effect and its causing me anxiety so muchh and im sick of it. so trust me i know what you mean. whens it end
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Guest
Hi Hot Rod,
You are not alone, I always have feared having a problem with myheart too. I have heart palpitations occasionally as well and they terrify me. Before I was pregnant I had them sometimes and I had a holter monitor I had to wear, I had several EKG's and an Echo Cardigram as well and my heart is fine, yet when I have a palpitation I feel panicky and have a feeling of doom inside. I am now almost twenty two weeks pregnant and still notice them, even more so sometimes because pregnancy has this effect on women. If I get cardio in (even a walk) I notice the palpitations, or if my heart rate and blood pressure go up when I am in a stressful event that scares me and than I notice them again. I hate them, they are scary and uncomfortable because it feels like your breath was taken away for a second. I just try to tell myself everything is ok and try not to panick. Sometimes I'm okay and other times I do panick. Anxiety is a mental thing, but it can effect of physical body as well. My anxiety cause my heart rate to go up and my blood pressure to spike if I get on an airplane, subway, go into a croweded area, etc.plus I have the palpitations. All I can suggest to you is to get help if you need to. This program is excellent, but you must reach out and get help if you need to. I had to because I have a baby growing in my stomache and I don't want to put him or myself in danger. I go a referally from my obgyn. Maybe, you can get a referral from your General Practioner, referrals really help because sometimes if you try to do it by yourself it is hard to get in touch with anyone who calls you back or is accepting patients. Please, get some help with your anxiety. Maybe, you may have to start with meds, but also start with counseling. Sometimes we can repress things that cause us to feel anxious which causes the escalated heart beat and blood pressure as well as palpitations. There is nothing wrong with raching out for help.
You are not alone, I always have feared having a problem with myheart too. I have heart palpitations occasionally as well and they terrify me. Before I was pregnant I had them sometimes and I had a holter monitor I had to wear, I had several EKG's and an Echo Cardigram as well and my heart is fine, yet when I have a palpitation I feel panicky and have a feeling of doom inside. I am now almost twenty two weeks pregnant and still notice them, even more so sometimes because pregnancy has this effect on women. If I get cardio in (even a walk) I notice the palpitations, or if my heart rate and blood pressure go up when I am in a stressful event that scares me and than I notice them again. I hate them, they are scary and uncomfortable because it feels like your breath was taken away for a second. I just try to tell myself everything is ok and try not to panick. Sometimes I'm okay and other times I do panick. Anxiety is a mental thing, but it can effect of physical body as well. My anxiety cause my heart rate to go up and my blood pressure to spike if I get on an airplane, subway, go into a croweded area, etc.plus I have the palpitations. All I can suggest to you is to get help if you need to. This program is excellent, but you must reach out and get help if you need to. I had to because I have a baby growing in my stomache and I don't want to put him or myself in danger. I go a referally from my obgyn. Maybe, you can get a referral from your General Practioner, referrals really help because sometimes if you try to do it by yourself it is hard to get in touch with anyone who calls you back or is accepting patients. Please, get some help with your anxiety. Maybe, you may have to start with meds, but also start with counseling. Sometimes we can repress things that cause us to feel anxious which causes the escalated heart beat and blood pressure as well as palpitations. There is nothing wrong with raching out for help.
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Guest
Hot Rod,
This is my main fear too. I had a similar circumstance where I was misdiagnosed. I went to the ER with cest pain and they told me I had a tear in my aorta. They kept me in ICU for three days totally drugged out of my mind while they figured out what they were going to do. They told me I had a 37% chance of not making it out of surgery. They did another CT and TEE and found out I had no tear and sent me home the next day. I have been absolutely terrified ever since. I have PVC's pretty much all of the time and they really scare me. I was almost to the point where I could semi-function with them and I went to my GP yesterday to get meds for migranes and I told him I was having PCV's and he says "You know those can kill you". Seriously, instant panic attack. I have been to three cardiologists and all three said that as long as you have a healthy heart PVC's are harmless and then I go to the GP and he tells me this. I am really freaking out! Who do I trust???
This is my main fear too. I had a similar circumstance where I was misdiagnosed. I went to the ER with cest pain and they told me I had a tear in my aorta. They kept me in ICU for three days totally drugged out of my mind while they figured out what they were going to do. They told me I had a 37% chance of not making it out of surgery. They did another CT and TEE and found out I had no tear and sent me home the next day. I have been absolutely terrified ever since. I have PVC's pretty much all of the time and they really scare me. I was almost to the point where I could semi-function with them and I went to my GP yesterday to get meds for migranes and I told him I was having PCV's and he says "You know those can kill you". Seriously, instant panic attack. I have been to three cardiologists and all three said that as long as you have a healthy heart PVC's are harmless and then I go to the GP and he tells me this. I am really freaking out! Who do I trust???
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Guest
Thanks tor both of you for your advice and support. This crap gets really old, doesn't it?? lol I got to a point last night that I realized that I was sick and tired of feeling like a victim all the time. Realizing that I was a victim of my own mind just really got me angry.
So, today, every time I reach up to massage my chest or start to overevaluate every little symptom I am saying, "No!" in my mind and then proceeding to tell the anxious part of my brain, in no uncertain terms, that I've had enough. No more! In prayer last night I laid it all at Gods feet and told Him, "Okay, Lord... I am choosing to turn my focus away from this obsession. If I truly have some problem with my heart, I'm leaving it up to you to let me know. But, I can't go on like this and I'm done." I asked for the strength to kick this thing in the butt once and for all and went to bed.
This morning I have been stomping on those negative thoughts and keeping busy.
Nice to know I'm not alone in this. Thanks!
So, today, every time I reach up to massage my chest or start to overevaluate every little symptom I am saying, "No!" in my mind and then proceeding to tell the anxious part of my brain, in no uncertain terms, that I've had enough. No more! In prayer last night I laid it all at Gods feet and told Him, "Okay, Lord... I am choosing to turn my focus away from this obsession. If I truly have some problem with my heart, I'm leaving it up to you to let me know. But, I can't go on like this and I'm done." I asked for the strength to kick this thing in the butt once and for all and went to bed.
This morning I have been stomping on those negative thoughts and keeping busy.
Nice to know I'm not alone in this. Thanks!
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Guest
Melissa,
I guess I was in some kind of stupor when I read your post because, after re-reading it I realized what an absolute nightmare you went through! God, and I thought I had a good horror story! I can't believe your GP said that... 'scuse the language but what an asswipe! Seriously!
As you can guess, I researched PVC's to the hilt and NEVER did I come across anything that suggests that PVC's "can kill you" My cardiologist told me the same. Ventricular tachycardia can but that is something else entirely! Chalk this up to your GP not knowing what he is talking about and being an insensitive douche. Sure, he is an MD BUT he is NO cardiologist..and you have had no less than 3 specialized docs tell you that you are okay. You've been tested to the hilt and are fine. Trust your 3 specialists.. you have no underlying heart disease and, believe me, if they thought there was anything wrong they would err on the side of caution and not risk a lawsuit by telling you that you are fine. (like they did in the hospital) I worked as a medical assistant for a minor emergency clinic and family practice for 9 years and I know that for a fact. They CAN'T tell you you are okay unless they are CERTAIN.
I know how hard it is to get a scare like that out of your head. But, you can do it. One thing that helps me is to realize that, as scared as I was of my PVC's at one point, they no longer scared me. My rib pain scares me now as much as the PVC's once did. My heart is super sensitive to stimulus (as all of ours is) and before my period when my hormones are fluctuating I will get them and I get them when I am tired and I also get them when I am anxious and have all the fun stress chemicals floating around. I realized last night after having a few of them and not freaking out that, one day soon, the chest pain will no longer scare me either.
I think our anxiety is kind of like an obsessive child. It simply must have something to play with at all times. And, our favorite toy is heart stuff. I've been talking to my anxiety lately like it is a child needing discipline. I don't yell at it but tell it, very firmly, No, I've had enough. This toy is no good for me and we are not going to play with it anymore.
Hang in there, this too shall pass.
I guess I was in some kind of stupor when I read your post because, after re-reading it I realized what an absolute nightmare you went through! God, and I thought I had a good horror story! I can't believe your GP said that... 'scuse the language but what an asswipe! Seriously!
As you can guess, I researched PVC's to the hilt and NEVER did I come across anything that suggests that PVC's "can kill you" My cardiologist told me the same. Ventricular tachycardia can but that is something else entirely! Chalk this up to your GP not knowing what he is talking about and being an insensitive douche. Sure, he is an MD BUT he is NO cardiologist..and you have had no less than 3 specialized docs tell you that you are okay. You've been tested to the hilt and are fine. Trust your 3 specialists.. you have no underlying heart disease and, believe me, if they thought there was anything wrong they would err on the side of caution and not risk a lawsuit by telling you that you are fine. (like they did in the hospital) I worked as a medical assistant for a minor emergency clinic and family practice for 9 years and I know that for a fact. They CAN'T tell you you are okay unless they are CERTAIN.
I know how hard it is to get a scare like that out of your head. But, you can do it. One thing that helps me is to realize that, as scared as I was of my PVC's at one point, they no longer scared me. My rib pain scares me now as much as the PVC's once did. My heart is super sensitive to stimulus (as all of ours is) and before my period when my hormones are fluctuating I will get them and I get them when I am tired and I also get them when I am anxious and have all the fun stress chemicals floating around. I realized last night after having a few of them and not freaking out that, one day soon, the chest pain will no longer scare me either.
I think our anxiety is kind of like an obsessive child. It simply must have something to play with at all times. And, our favorite toy is heart stuff. I've been talking to my anxiety lately like it is a child needing discipline. I don't yell at it but tell it, very firmly, No, I've had enough. This toy is no good for me and we are not going to play with it anymore.
Hang in there, this too shall pass.
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Guest
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Guest
Hey Hotrod, I don't reallly have an answer, but I know exactly what you are going through. About a year ago I started getting pains like you describe, then I ended up in the emergency room twice thinking I was having a heart attack. I got the full battery of tests, then went to the cardiologist, and everything was normal. I still get the pains, but I am usually able to ignore them. One thing that helps me is coming to this website and reading about people with the same issues. It reinforces the fact that this is in my mind and I am not alone. Your post made me feel better 
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Guest
Melissa,
I am on a beta blocker (atenolol) right now. However, not for PVC's even though it is nice to have something to kind of control them. I am on the beta blocker for postural tachycardia which is a fancy way of saying that my HR got too high upon standing. Part of the viral garbage I had. That was awful! I would stand up and get about 15 ft when HR would hit the 120's. Just what someone scare of heart trouble needed! NOT! lol However, it is (was) not due to actual heart trouble but my autonomic nervous system (brain) got out of whack with the virus. Thank god that has almost gone away! However, it had me taking my BP and HR several times a day. And still does... I really try to stop myself.
What are you taking? I am only taking 1/2 the tab of atenolol. Hey, why take the whole if 1/2 works just fine? Are you having side effects? I did for about a month but they are gone now. And, are they helping with your PVC's?
Circle,
Yes, it helps tremendously to know that there are so many othters out there like me! Thanks for your post... I hope to be where you are soon! Getting there but the ole brain can be awful stubborn! lol
Merry Christmas!
I am on a beta blocker (atenolol) right now. However, not for PVC's even though it is nice to have something to kind of control them. I am on the beta blocker for postural tachycardia which is a fancy way of saying that my HR got too high upon standing. Part of the viral garbage I had. That was awful! I would stand up and get about 15 ft when HR would hit the 120's. Just what someone scare of heart trouble needed! NOT! lol However, it is (was) not due to actual heart trouble but my autonomic nervous system (brain) got out of whack with the virus. Thank god that has almost gone away! However, it had me taking my BP and HR several times a day. And still does... I really try to stop myself.
What are you taking? I am only taking 1/2 the tab of atenolol. Hey, why take the whole if 1/2 works just fine? Are you having side effects? I did for about a month but they are gone now. And, are they helping with your PVC's?
Circle,
Yes, it helps tremendously to know that there are so many othters out there like me! Thanks for your post... I hope to be where you are soon! Getting there but the ole brain can be awful stubborn! lol
Merry Christmas!
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Guest
Can you believe some people that are able to get medical degrees? LOL! Melissa, I would have died if my GP said something like that about the PVCs to me!
Rod, I just wanted to chime in and say that I absolutely share the same fears. It started about 3 years ago when I would get the heart palp's after exercising. Had all the tests done and everything came back normal, but it wasn't enough to convince me that I wasn't going to drop dead from a heart attack at any moment (I was only 24 at the time!)
Since then, they have come and gone - they disappear for months on end, but then will make an appearance for a few weeks and go away again. Each time I can only hold out for so long before I start to get nervous and think that something is wrong. I'm a runner so if I'm not careful my anxiety will also affect my running program!
I think the worst part is how powerful our mind is - I start to think, did I just feel chest pain? It's almost like if I THINK about it, it will happen! Then I start imagining things. It's terrible. LOL - I have also said, Ok Lord, if it's my time to go, let me go in peace!
I have found a lot of success with trying to "accept" the anxiety and move through it. I can't run away from my own heart but I can sure try to minimize the damage my overactive mind can do.
Rod, I just wanted to chime in and say that I absolutely share the same fears. It started about 3 years ago when I would get the heart palp's after exercising. Had all the tests done and everything came back normal, but it wasn't enough to convince me that I wasn't going to drop dead from a heart attack at any moment (I was only 24 at the time!)
Since then, they have come and gone - they disappear for months on end, but then will make an appearance for a few weeks and go away again. Each time I can only hold out for so long before I start to get nervous and think that something is wrong. I'm a runner so if I'm not careful my anxiety will also affect my running program!
I think the worst part is how powerful our mind is - I start to think, did I just feel chest pain? It's almost like if I THINK about it, it will happen! Then I start imagining things. It's terrible. LOL - I have also said, Ok Lord, if it's my time to go, let me go in peace! I have found a lot of success with trying to "accept" the anxiety and move through it. I can't run away from my own heart but I can sure try to minimize the damage my overactive mind can do.