why do I feel like I'm stupid?

jimbobek · Post by **jimbobek** » Tue May 19, 2009 12:46 pm

I have always been academically accomplished. Until I started my phd program. Here, I started feeling inferior to fellow phd students and the faculty. It only intensified as the research process for my dissertation progressed.
Any problem with my dissertation, which should be just part of doing research, becomes this huge roadbloack since I believe many times that I'm just not that good at this.
Can anyone relate to this? Have you ever felt so undeserving and really stupid in what you do?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue May 19, 2009 10:14 pm

This really hit home for me. Just tonight at Starbucks I ran into an aquaintance that works in physics. That fact alone makes me feel absolutely inferior. I can't talk to him about his work because my understanding of physics is basic at best. I felt stupid and like I needed to watch what I said. I of course tried to compensate for my insecurity by using sophisticated words and I think I just seemed even more unsure of what I was talking about.

I'm not really sure how to provide you with some comfort in this topic because I feel like I suffer from this too. It's as though I'm waiting for everyone to find out that I'm not really smart enough, good enough or that I just don't measure up.

You're getting your PHD. You're standing with the best. It's not unheard of that you would feel a bit insecure. Realize though, that you're there among these brilliant people; you're one of them. I haven't fully completed the program, but I do think that the program addresses issues like this. I'd be curious to see what some board veterans might have to say regarding this.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 20, 2009 5:59 am

Hello Jim- I don't come here very often anymore but now and then check in. There is no way you have gotten this far by being 'stupid.' I think deep down you really do know this. We all get to the point sometimes of doubting ourselves and comparing ourselves to other people's achievements. Have you tried asking yourself some questions and free writing in your journal the first thing that comes to mind without editing your thoughts? Sounds like there is a block in regard to finishing the dissertation. Maybe you are functioning on "shoulds" in lieu of what you truly want to do. Maybe there is something different that you would really rather be doing? Is your heart really in this? Just a few thoughts for consideration. Sometimes it's hard to differentiate between what we always thought we should be doing, and what we truly want to do. Have you considered a life coach? I've known some people who have had very good results with this type of counseling. I'm wishing you the best and really do hope this resolves for you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 20, 2009 11:48 am

Jim,

I can totally relate. I am going to school right now to be a Music Therapist. I've been playing guitar/bass for YEARS, very often being told by my peers that I am a fantastic musician. Well, a part of becoming a therapist is to properly learn how to read music, and to perform music classical-style. It's been very challenging, and at the end of this semester, I started feeling inferior seeing these kids 18-19 years old (i'm 30) kicking my butt on guitar...hahaha.

The point of this response? I got my Music Theory grade for the semester. I got 99% in the class!!! Almost a perfect A!!!!!!!!!! And the people that I felt inferior to at best got a C.

So, what I would do is use the feelings that you are having and transform it into fuel to do the best you can. You might surprise yourself

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 20, 2009 4:43 pm

No one is inferior to anyone else...Period...

Just because someone knows more in one area does not mean that person knows it all!!! I am sure there are areas, in which, you are much more intelligent than others!!!!

You are a very intelligent human being, or you would not have suffered from anxiety or depression!!!!

Do not undermine yourself, ever!!!! Give yourself credit where credit is due!!!

You are outstanding...Period...

Working on your self-esteem will help you sooo much!!!!

It is healthy to be yourself, and not try and impress anyone!!!

May You Have a Wonderful Night's Rest...God Bless...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 20, 2009 5:04 pm

Thank you all for your responses! Today was better and I was able to talk myself out of the inferiority feelings and actually got some things done! Thanks again.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 20, 2009 5:19 pm

Jim...You are welcome...God Bless...