The 6 advices on session 2 are not working for me.

C2009 · Post by **C2009** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:43 pm

Today Monday, October 19th I started my 3rd week with the program, however, I feel that I am stuck on session 2. I just can't change my negative thoughts, and when I try to relax using the relaxation cd, I can't not even concentrate, I start listening to it, and then all of a sudden I find myselt thinking about anything else, I try to focus on the cd but it happens againg, and after a while it becomes frustrating. I have to go through this everyday at work, because we have 10 minutes meetings everyday to get updates. And that's where I need all the help I can get, I talk to myself all the time trying to change my thoughts I say things to myself like, nothing is going to happen or what is the worse that could happen, nobody is going to hurt you, or you are not going to get fired because of this situation, and so on, but nothing works my mind just does not believe this I guess, because the fact is that I feel terrible everyday because of that. If I try to use the relaxation technique it makes me feel worse, as I am trying to relax myself I just get more nervous. I need help PLEASE, any suggestions?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:21 pm

There are quite a few people who had complained of the same things. But with time, all of these began to work for them.

The program works. Just keep trying, even if it doesn't seem like it's working. It will.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 20, 2009 8:33 am

It might help to focus on how you want it to be before you go in to your meeting. At least you had a good experience in your head which will make you feel good, so when you go into the meeting, you will start out feeling good instead of anxious. I am doing very well with visualization. I have been amazed how many good things happen everyday that I have been missing because I was stuck.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 5:24 am

Relaxation is a learned behavior for those of us with anxiety and it doesn't happen over night after just a few times, especially if our anxiety is at a high point. When I started meditating it took me a very long time to be able to clear my mind and relax. It's not uncommon to feel this way at the beginning of listening to the relaxation CD. It's unrealistic to think your negative thoughts will be gone by session 3. Please have patience with this and keep trying, as the program does work -but not over night. Repetition is key here and if you have the patience to stick it out for a longer amount of time I think you will be glad you did.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:28 am

I really appreciate all your support, I will keep trying hard, but sometimes I feel frustrated, it has been about 3 years that this nightmare started to bother me really bad, and about 1 year of day after day struggle. I think it is getting worse because about 3 months ago I started experiencing for the first time irritable bowel syndrome, before that I felt bad but it never affected my stomach as it is doing now. All this time I have talked to myself but it never gets in my mind as it should, I think I am a very negative person or something like that, however, before the meeting I always think in a positive way, a few times I have been able to perform better at the meeting to the point that it surprises me and then the next day I try to recreate the same behavior and thoughts to repeat the same thing but it does not work I go back to the same situation, some times it is so bad that I cannot even articulate words, and while at the meeting I just can't think straight because I can't think about any positive thing, I can't not even look around and notice stuff. The fear is so terrible that it shuts down my mind.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:03 am

It's OK - let your mind shut down. Let yourself experience the anxiety. Let yourself see the negative thoughts (without you talking back to them). Just see them. Just feel how you are feeling. It can not hurt you. You are fighting this. So much resistance to the way you are. Instead embrace the way you are right now. Love who you are. It's OK to have this problem. It's treatable. Don't relax your body right now. It's true. It takes time. You're expecting way too much too soon. Use the relaxation exercise when you are calm and can lay still for about 15 minutes. It's not that long. Learn it really well in this fashion. It will be second nature to you in time.

Stop beating yourself up for this and start soothing yourself. You were born predisposed to this condition. It takes time to learn how to manage it.

Also, the 6 advices are not working because you are not doing them. You must accept and allow. Truly accept and allow. You won't beable to do this right away but try to let it sink in. Eventually, you will beable to do this.

Get a doll (or stuffed animal) that represents you and nuture her. Don't scold and judge. Just accept and nuture. Be patient. The rest will follow.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:51 am

Hi C2009..I had the same problem relaxing with the relaxation tape. The more you listen even if you don't concentrate or relax, the easier it gets. Something that helped me in the beginning was to repeat in my mind, everything on the tape right after Lucinda said it. This way I at least stayed focased of what was being said. Good luck and don't give up.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:31 pm

All the advice here is really awesome and i agree with it all especially what Boon has said about letting yourself experience the anxiety.

It sounds like some of your expectations of yourself are very unrealistic when it comes to positive thinking and relaxation and this is bound to cause frustration. As an add on to what Boon said, there are 6 steps and you may not master all of them right away, just work on the first one. See that you are having anxiety, know that it is anxiety and notice how it feels. Acceptance is the first step and like the other's have said relaxation comes with time. Don't expect to pay good attention at first as Anxious people aren't good at relaxing. Instead of expecting to do well at the relaxation cd, just expect that you've put it on and are listening to it and I can guarantee after awhile you'll be better at it. Practice practice practice makes us better at any skill, including relaxation.

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 22, 2009 6:05 am

Thank you everybody, after reading all of your suggestions, I am starting to think that I really have hope. And that's great news for me.
I really appreciate your time and your advices. I do have the "perfect" situation to practice all of your suggestions because as I mentioned earlier I go through this situation 5 day a week. It is so hard for me to accept it and think that it is ok to experience anxiety but I will keep trying.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 22, 2009 11:30 am

and the more practice opportunities the quicker and more effective you can be with overcoming the anxiety and depression.

Mike