I feel like I've lost who I am

[MrsJayReyna]

My husband and I got married Jan 6th 2009 and everything was so great and we were inseprable until he moved me from Colorado to his home in Texas. We emediatly went to stay with his parents and they have a great life thats in order. I knew that I was nervous and excited but when we starte driving into the state I became only nervous and let it completely take over to where I could not speak to anyone at dinner and I was trapped inside my mind. I felt really overwhelmed and stupid. I'm usually the type of person to always have something to say no matter what anyone thinks about it. I'm usually a free open minded spirit. My husband had talked to me about respect in his family was important. It didn't get any better over time only that I could hide my insecurities and discomfort. It had become so bad that I would tremble when my husband touched me. He knew I was going through this and has tried everything to help. I became more and more in a shell and eventually couldn't talk to my own husband.

[Guest]

I know the feeling of being detached from the person you once were. I recently stood in the livingroom of my beautiful home of 30years looking out the picture windows as all of my accumulated treasures and "junk" and "stuff" and worldly possessions were carted out of the house into strangers hands, the back of my childrens vehicles, and into a uhaul destined for storage. I raised my children in this home, raised hundreds more in the attached childcare.But as i stood and watched as all these things were carted off without so much as to ask my opinion; I felt like I had died and someone forgot to tell me. You see, my husband had mismanaged his business and the creditors were taking all that I had. I owned all this before we were married. It was not his. Then when I was alone and homeless; my children turned thier backs on me too. I now live in the basement of an elderly uncle. I am down, but NOT dead. Having lost everything, I mean everything except a few boxes I have with me and a few more in storage; I am forced to take a good look at myself and what I want for the "next" life. The anxiety and depression that I have been plagued with for most of my life just blew up to huge proportions. I just received my box from Stress Center yesterday. I am listening to the tapes today. This will be a good thing to focus on me for a change and the taking back of that part of me that was "lost". Maybe we can encourage each other. Blessings cnestra