My first attempt at assertive behaviour. Did I do good?

pearpickinporky · Post by **pearpickinporky** » Wed Sep 09, 2009 6:55 am

I have always been a doormat I have 0 confidence or self esteem which I suspect has led to my anxiety, I also have social anxiety so you will see why this is such a big thing for me.

Basically my son (6) has been getting bullied by another older kid who lives in our housing estate, its been going on 6 months or more and the other child has managed to tunr all my sons little friends against him, it came to a head today when the bully pushed my child who fell over and hit is head on the road, my son came in crying.

I have a very bad temper as I'm sure alot of you with anxiety can relate to, so I went out to the bully and told him to come over to me, I want to ask him why he done it, he said no, I said well I will have to go down to your parents then, he said "You'll have to get through me first" I mean this child is 10, and he is talking like a 20 year old, he has no fear, So I went down to the parents, My heart was racing infact it was pounding, I went to the parents, and told them the problem calmly and without getting angry. The parents said "Oh I am so sorry and thank you for telling us, we really didn't know" I'm a guy as I say who has socialy anxiety, I can hardly more than say "Hi" to anyone but managed to do this. My parents never done anything like this for me, I was bullied, picked on put down and look at the way I have turned out, Have anxiety,depression,social anxiety which is why I wanted to do this for my son, But did I do the right thing? My wife isn't speaking to me, she is worried what the neighbours will think of us

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 09, 2009 2:16 pm

I think you did great. I liked the fact that you stayed calm and expressed how you felt about the situation. Regardless of how the other parents acted, I think you did good. Anything worthwhile isnt going to be easy. You just needed that extra emotional nudge and it worked out. Great job!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 09, 2009 4:47 pm

Pear
I think what you did was Awesome. I bet your son thinks you are King of the World now.Being
confrontational like that was scary I am sure!
I bet the neighbors are wishing that they had the backbone you had. If this other child has rallied the other kids to his side? He is a bully who has probably intimidated their kids too. I am sure it will be okay and settle itself out in time. Being calm was the best move and it showed your maturity. Bravo!

Jill~

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 09, 2009 10:38 pm

It sounds like you did exactly the right thing. Taking care of your children is much more important than what others will think of you. Great job facing your fears and taking care of business! It sounds like you're using your assertiveness skills effectively. I think you can safely remove the "did I do good" in your posting title now!

Jamie

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:39 pm

I agree. It sounds like you did exactly the right thing. I don't know why your wife would be worried about what the neighbors think.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 4:37 pm

Good for you!! Yes, you handled this perfectly. Making sure your son is protected both emotionally and physically is FAR more important that worrying what the neighbors think.