I would like to find out if there are others who can relate to my situation that have had success with the program. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
First, some background facts:
<LI> My parents divorced when I was only 1 year old.
<LI> Most women on my mom's side are "clinically depressed" people leading very dysfunctional lives.
<LI> I lived with alcoholic mom until I was 8 - very unstable household.
<LI> Moved in with dad and stepmom at age 8 - much more stable household, but I'm afraid the damage was already done.
<LI> I am 27 years old and newly married to a wonderful, supportive man (he wants me to go ahead with the program as soon as possible no matter the cost, but I am unsure)
<LI> I have seen many therapists and tried every type of anti-depressant out there. One doctor diagnosed me as having some sort of bipolar disorder (minus the manic part) and wanted me to take anti-seizure medicine but I was afraid to take it, so I didn't.
For as long as I can remember, I have never felt "quite right". There has always been that black cloud hanging over me, but I haven't experienced an actual panic attack as I often read about on this site. I do worry a lot, usually about things beyond my control or ridiculous things (like how my husband doesn't clean something exactly the way I wanted - end of the world right?). My worries will usually spiral out of control getting worse and worse until I've worked myself into a mental frenzy...but not physical like I've read about on this site. I get ANGRY! I don't get sweaty, I don't get shaky, I'm not afraid of things like driving or flying. And I don't have to try to hide it from people because they can't read my mind and just think I am a negative, irritable person. Well they are correct, but they have no idea the mental anguish I endure as well. Sometimes I feel like I might be crazy because I can control expressing my anger around other people - my husband takes the brunt of it, as did all of my exes.
I can count on one hand the number of times IN MY WHOLE LIFE that I have felt an emotion other than anger. It's almost like I'm dead inside. It seems like I am incapable of feeling joy or happiness or even sadness. I just feel nothing or anger most of the time. I seem to do ok with feeling empathy or sympathy for others but I don't feel sad when bad things that happen to me! And I have absolutely NO sex drive anymore...much to my and my husband's dismay.
Sometimes i feel like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh...Can anyone relate? Help!
Not sure the program is right for me...
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Guest
I think the program will work for you.I did not think it would work for me.I had a lot of doubts lurking in my mind.I just finished my first week and i can see lots of improvement.I understand what my body is doing and now when i get dizzy or get a headache or just feel weird i know that it is just my anxiety.