I guess if I can just get the kinks in my panties ironed out I will sit taller! too many kinks! funny most people fear going insane, I wish it would just happen and then I could take comfort in that little white rubber room.. thanks again for the support dawn! nice to know im not alone on that one!how do you handle the overwhelming suicide feeling?
Dawn, thank you for your kind words.. sure hit home I guess if I can just get the kinks in my panties ironed out I will sit taller! too many kinks! funny most people fear going insane, I wish it would just happen and then I could take comfort in that little white rubber room.. thanks again for the support dawn! nice to know im not alone on that one!
I guess if I can just get the kinks in my panties ironed out I will sit taller! too many kinks! funny most people fear going insane, I wish it would just happen and then I could take comfort in that little white rubber room.. thanks again for the support dawn! nice to know im not alone on that one!MAEGGIE AND OTHERS,
i do not try to be someone that i am not..what i write is from my heart and whn you write things that i have said that touches your souls it makes tears swell up im my eyes as well..but, that is tears of joy...my life had not been like this a few years ago. i was a mess..diagnosed with panic, anxiety, depression, agrophobia, IBS skin cancer, going through a divorce..but THANK GOD FOR LUCINDAS PROGRAM. and thank GOD for others like you who write and share things that they would not do other wise...you know that we gain strenght by numbers...WHAT WE HAVE IS A BLESSING..look at ow many lives you have touched since writing what you have.you even helped yourself and let your emotions go and let the tears fall...GOD HAS A COLLECTION OF OUT TEARS I BELEIVE...know that you are loved and blessed beyound comapare..there is a journey that you will begin soon..the skills and tools that you will get from the program will help you find what you have beenlooking or all your lives..you will know it whenyou get there..hold on and you can nt go back to where you were. you have come too far..if you did go back you would not be happy..so stay and be with friends that will pary for you and comfort you..my wish for you all..is thatas you bless someone else and help others that you gain strength and as you get better and learn to love yourself you will find how much more you can do...know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and GOD BLESS..
who would have know that i went on a mission trip the oct after katrina for a week,went on a couple of trips by myself..going to fla the middle of next month with a mission group and then on the 21st of july-1 august i will beon a mission trip with 12 others to brazil. i am o excited at what GOD HAS IN STORE FOR US...BE BLESSED..
DON
if i can help somebody as i travel on, then my living will not be in vain...
i do not try to be someone that i am not..what i write is from my heart and whn you write things that i have said that touches your souls it makes tears swell up im my eyes as well..but, that is tears of joy...my life had not been like this a few years ago. i was a mess..diagnosed with panic, anxiety, depression, agrophobia, IBS skin cancer, going through a divorce..but THANK GOD FOR LUCINDAS PROGRAM. and thank GOD for others like you who write and share things that they would not do other wise...you know that we gain strenght by numbers...WHAT WE HAVE IS A BLESSING..look at ow many lives you have touched since writing what you have.you even helped yourself and let your emotions go and let the tears fall...GOD HAS A COLLECTION OF OUT TEARS I BELEIVE...know that you are loved and blessed beyound comapare..there is a journey that you will begin soon..the skills and tools that you will get from the program will help you find what you have beenlooking or all your lives..you will know it whenyou get there..hold on and you can nt go back to where you were. you have come too far..if you did go back you would not be happy..so stay and be with friends that will pary for you and comfort you..my wish for you all..is thatas you bless someone else and help others that you gain strength and as you get better and learn to love yourself you will find how much more you can do...know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and GOD BLESS..
who would have know that i went on a mission trip the oct after katrina for a week,went on a couple of trips by myself..going to fla the middle of next month with a mission group and then on the 21st of july-1 august i will beon a mission trip with 12 others to brazil. i am o excited at what GOD HAS IN STORE FOR US...BE BLESSED..
DON
if i can help somebody as i travel on, then my living will not be in vain...
Maeggie, cuttinggirl, hairtrigger,prv31mom,
I hate that all of you have felt like not living anymore! Hurting yourself or even having these thoughts is not of the Lord. Sometimes life is tough but you can get through anything with the Lord. He cares about everyone and he doesn't want you to have these thoughts or feelings. I will be praying for you all and I hope that to the ones that are talking about actually contiplating on commiting suicide that you will not think that anymore. If you kill yourself you will not be with the Lord you can't take your life away!!! PLEASE realize that life IS worth living! Please join our prayer group! It is in the spiritual part of the forum and there is prayer request section it has the number and time and all. The Lord has brought me through alot of tough times and he can take you through these times as well. Please don't give into what you are feeling!
Lord Jesus please keep all these people from causing harm to theirself and others. Please Lord Jesus keep them all from thinking that their life is not worth living! Lord Jesus please help them and guide them and heal them from all of these things that they are going through. Lord Jesus please Lord guide them from the enemy and from destruction. Please let them realize that satan only wants to kill, steal, and destroy and that they don't need to listen to the enemy. I pray this in your mighty name. Amen!
I hate that all of you have felt like not living anymore! Hurting yourself or even having these thoughts is not of the Lord. Sometimes life is tough but you can get through anything with the Lord. He cares about everyone and he doesn't want you to have these thoughts or feelings. I will be praying for you all and I hope that to the ones that are talking about actually contiplating on commiting suicide that you will not think that anymore. If you kill yourself you will not be with the Lord you can't take your life away!!! PLEASE realize that life IS worth living! Please join our prayer group! It is in the spiritual part of the forum and there is prayer request section it has the number and time and all. The Lord has brought me through alot of tough times and he can take you through these times as well. Please don't give into what you are feeling!
Lord Jesus please keep all these people from causing harm to theirself and others. Please Lord Jesus keep them all from thinking that their life is not worth living! Lord Jesus please help them and guide them and heal them from all of these things that they are going through. Lord Jesus please Lord guide them from the enemy and from destruction. Please let them realize that satan only wants to kill, steal, and destroy and that they don't need to listen to the enemy. I pray this in your mighty name. Amen!
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cuttingirl
- Posts: 73
- Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:51 am
Thank you to everyone for your kind and comforting words. I especially liked the picture of 2 to 3 of us gathered in his sight and being heard. Part of the sadness is feeling alone and abandoned. And thank you Maeggie for beginning this thread; you are very brave and very deserving of a calm and steady peace in your mind and body. It is a relief to know that we're not really as alone as it can feel and for me personally that I'm not the freak I've always thought I was. You all are wonderful
"I have lived a horrible life, none of which has actually happened"-Winston Churchill
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cuttingirl
- Posts: 73
- Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:51 am
It is comforting that we are not really crazy and we haven't lost it and we're not alone. It can feel very, very dark and isolated at times, and recalling these posts that there are other souls out there like me changes my world. In the past, I've partaken in smacking my face and head, pinching skin, scratching skin, pulling off cuticles, or, the most effective and my personal sick "favorite", cutting. Luckily I've avoided cutting for over 6 months now (thank God!) because it is very hard to stop and the shame is almost as unbearable as the reasons for doing it; a vicious cycle. Anyone that needs a good resource, this website has helped me: <A HREF="http://www.recoveryourlife.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.recoveryourlife.com/</A> But if you don't need the resource, then, like smoking, don't start!! Hugs to all and thank you so very very much for the love, comfort, and support. The world needs more of it. You never know who you walk by that may need your smile, a hand, a hug, a good deed. I'm inspired by this thread and want to make an "invisible impact" on someone to pass it forward. What would it take for a stranger, a coworker, or a friend to give you that little boost to lift you up just a little? Maybe we need to give what we want to receive.Originally posted by Prv31Mom:
Sort of a side note here, but I had never, ever heard of anyone else hitting themselves until they had black eyes...and I've done that in the past too.
Every day in here, it seems like, I am amazed at how what I thought were shameful, singular, and unique problems of mine are actually shared by so many others.
Hang in there Maeggie...we all deserve BETTER than this...and we're headed for it! As my good friend luvpiggy says, "One day at a time!"
Blessings,
Dawn
"I have lived a horrible life, none of which has actually happened"-Winston Churchill
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Mistybloo2
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:11 am
Maeggie,
I am praying with all of my heart that God lifts this oppressive overwhelming spirit of hopelessness from you. I have also felt this way and it truly is the most horrible feeling.
About 3 weeks ago, in the midst of a panic episode, I began to cry and cry. And the more I cried the more I kept asking God "Why?" Why God is this happening to me? Why God? Why do you continue to allow me to go through this torture every day, nite and day?
Then shortly after that the most horrendous thoughts started to cross my mind.. If God really cared then he would have healed me already, If he was really God I wouldn't have never even gotten this bad, God doesn't really love me, there's no point in living, things will never get better...
I really got swept away with all of these doubts, and honestly it was the first time in all of my years as being a christian that I had ever doubted God and his love for me and his divine plan. But the holy spirit came over me and lead me back into my right mind. All of a sudden, scriptures started to come to mind and one in particular was Ephesions 6. I realized for the first time that this was really a spiritual battle and Satan is out for our destruction. I prayed that God would open my eyes to what was really going on: An attack from the enemy of our souls, that comes only to kill, steal, and destroy.
My prayer for you Maeggie is that God will send his spirit to open your eyes to recognize this as a spiritual attack, and give you the grace, mercy and strength to STAND. This too shall pass... God will not give us more than we can bear.
I love you in the name of Jesus and wish I could give you a big hug, because I know how hard and frightening and terrible the feeling is. Please continue to pray, as we all will continue to pray for you. God will never leave you nor forsake you Maeggie, you will come out of this if you stay close to him, he will deliver you. Please read Psalm 91 and all of Ephesians chapter 6.
Please feel free to email me if you ever need to talk: mistybloo2@yahoo.com
Take care of yourself
Misty
I am praying with all of my heart that God lifts this oppressive overwhelming spirit of hopelessness from you. I have also felt this way and it truly is the most horrible feeling.
About 3 weeks ago, in the midst of a panic episode, I began to cry and cry. And the more I cried the more I kept asking God "Why?" Why God is this happening to me? Why God? Why do you continue to allow me to go through this torture every day, nite and day?
Then shortly after that the most horrendous thoughts started to cross my mind.. If God really cared then he would have healed me already, If he was really God I wouldn't have never even gotten this bad, God doesn't really love me, there's no point in living, things will never get better...
I really got swept away with all of these doubts, and honestly it was the first time in all of my years as being a christian that I had ever doubted God and his love for me and his divine plan. But the holy spirit came over me and lead me back into my right mind. All of a sudden, scriptures started to come to mind and one in particular was Ephesions 6. I realized for the first time that this was really a spiritual battle and Satan is out for our destruction. I prayed that God would open my eyes to what was really going on: An attack from the enemy of our souls, that comes only to kill, steal, and destroy.
My prayer for you Maeggie is that God will send his spirit to open your eyes to recognize this as a spiritual attack, and give you the grace, mercy and strength to STAND. This too shall pass... God will not give us more than we can bear.
I love you in the name of Jesus and wish I could give you a big hug, because I know how hard and frightening and terrible the feeling is. Please continue to pray, as we all will continue to pray for you. God will never leave you nor forsake you Maeggie, you will come out of this if you stay close to him, he will deliver you. Please read Psalm 91 and all of Ephesians chapter 6.
Please feel free to email me if you ever need to talk: mistybloo2@yahoo.com
Take care of yourself
Misty
Maeggie,
I will hold you up in prayer and just know how many people care about you and are thinking of you and that have been where you are and are with you in prayer and in our hearts. If you ever need to talk I think someone mentioned tonight that you are Canadian as am I so if you live near by or even if you don't maybe we could share together if you need someone to talk to I am here honey. Just remember you are loved and cared about more than you will know. Hang in there sweetie sending you hugs and blessing.
God bless
Mimi
I will hold you up in prayer and just know how many people care about you and are thinking of you and that have been where you are and are with you in prayer and in our hearts. If you ever need to talk I think someone mentioned tonight that you are Canadian as am I so if you live near by or even if you don't maybe we could share together if you need someone to talk to I am here honey. Just remember you are loved and cared about more than you will know. Hang in there sweetie sending you hugs and blessing.
God bless
Mimi