Hi guys, I just thought maybe I could get some input. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own head that its tough seeing you have a problem. This is by far one of the dumbest parts of my anxiety. I'm generally a pretty outgoing person, if I'm really comfortable in my surroundings, I just love talking to people and conversing. However, for the past few years, it seems that if I run into some I know, I want to run,ahaha It could even be family that I ran into at the mall. I start experincing an anxiety attack and then I get sort of flushed. And I think what it comes down to is worrying about what they'll think. It happened the other day when I ran into a girl that I use to work with. I started blushing and then I get super warm and I feel like I'm drenched in heat. It's awful! And of course the whole time I'm thinking "What is she thinking?, she's going to think I'm weird." I guess what makes matters worse is that I feel like I can't just leave, which is probably why I'm anxious in the first place. I feel stuck there, which creates the blusing. I need to get over this.
Its weird because you could take the same person and put them in a normal setting, say I work with them and I would be fine. But the whole running into people, freaks me out.
I haven't admitted this to anyone so thanks for allowing me to get it off my chest. My mind knows its so incredibly ridiculous but I'm having a tough time getting over it.
Completely irrational fear.....
I know how this is, even if i run into my mom at a store i get anxious. I just try to go with the flow. I believe this is social anxiety. I feel like can they tell i am anxious but i'm sure they don't and if they do oh well we gotta stop caring about that non sense! This kind of thinking is got us the way we are now. I'm sure this will get easier if we just don't obsess about it and try to ignore it. I hope this helps.
I know exactly how you feel. I think I even posted about something like this recently. I don't really get much of the body symptoms, but the thoughts I get about what "they" are thinking of me is pretty strong. And what you say about, like if you worked with them and stuff--I know what you mean. I actually am getting a lot better with this stuff but I think what it used to be is running into someone I knew made me feel out of control. Like oh no, do I look okay, how's my hair, what was I doing before I knew they were there...etc. It does sound ridiculous now, but I used to really care before. The program helped me to not put so much emphasis on what people think and if they will like me. By the way, I never was like that until I became a stay at home mom. I am not blaming that, but the lack of adult conversations at times and being home alot made it more difficult, thankfully, I get out more now. You'll get over this.
P&P,
I want to tell you something that I hope will help you and others. Please forgive the length, but I need to paint the whole picture for everyone.
One of the biggest fears I have (and alot of other people have)is getting up in front of a large group of people and make a presentation (especially at work). A few months ago I took a two day course on public speaking. This is where they have you stand up in front of the room and make a presentation (about 5 to 7 minutes in length). They had us present twice (once the first day, and once the second). They video tape you both times, then have you watch the video in another room after each presentation with one of the instructors. You use the same presentation both days, but the second day is your 2nd run through after getting feedback off the video from the first day.
Some people came to class prepared and had something in mind to present. I did not have material so the instructor had a few diffent informational sheets of what we could present. I was not knowlegable in any of the material. I ended up picking one, and had 15 or so minutes to prepare.
When It was my turn I got up in front of the room and started in. I got about a minuted into it and kind of drew a blank. There were long pauses between my sentences because I was trying to think of what to day next without saying uh or ummmm out loud. I then started to fill light headed, dizzy, and warm. My heart was starting to race. I started telling myself it was just a class (the class was a non-threatning environment in reality). Once I was done, I sat back down. I thought to myself boy, I will sure look terrible on the video.
About an hour later I got to see the vidoe. Guess what, you would never know from watching the video that I was having a panic attack...............never know it at all. Sure there were big pauses in my speaking, but you could not sense panic. I was shocked and amused that I looked so together.
The above story should prove to us all that just because we are panicking inside does not mean people on the outside will know.
The other thing I learned in the class is they told us all that the bottom line is EVERYBODY gets nervouse doing a presentation in front of a group of people. A few years ago I would worry before I gave a presentation that I might get nervous and panic. Well guess what happened................yes I did get nervous, hot flash, dizzy, etc. I was fighting it, which made it WORSE.
Just float through the feelings.
Bill
I want to tell you something that I hope will help you and others. Please forgive the length, but I need to paint the whole picture for everyone.
One of the biggest fears I have (and alot of other people have)is getting up in front of a large group of people and make a presentation (especially at work). A few months ago I took a two day course on public speaking. This is where they have you stand up in front of the room and make a presentation (about 5 to 7 minutes in length). They had us present twice (once the first day, and once the second). They video tape you both times, then have you watch the video in another room after each presentation with one of the instructors. You use the same presentation both days, but the second day is your 2nd run through after getting feedback off the video from the first day.
Some people came to class prepared and had something in mind to present. I did not have material so the instructor had a few diffent informational sheets of what we could present. I was not knowlegable in any of the material. I ended up picking one, and had 15 or so minutes to prepare.
When It was my turn I got up in front of the room and started in. I got about a minuted into it and kind of drew a blank. There were long pauses between my sentences because I was trying to think of what to day next without saying uh or ummmm out loud. I then started to fill light headed, dizzy, and warm. My heart was starting to race. I started telling myself it was just a class (the class was a non-threatning environment in reality). Once I was done, I sat back down. I thought to myself boy, I will sure look terrible on the video.
About an hour later I got to see the vidoe. Guess what, you would never know from watching the video that I was having a panic attack...............never know it at all. Sure there were big pauses in my speaking, but you could not sense panic. I was shocked and amused that I looked so together.
The above story should prove to us all that just because we are panicking inside does not mean people on the outside will know.
The other thing I learned in the class is they told us all that the bottom line is EVERYBODY gets nervouse doing a presentation in front of a group of people. A few years ago I would worry before I gave a presentation that I might get nervous and panic. Well guess what happened................yes I did get nervous, hot flash, dizzy, etc. I was fighting it, which made it WORSE.
Just float through the feelings.
Bill
Hi,
I moved out of my home town b.c. I was so afraid of seeing someone I knew and when I did it was like my world was ending. I know it wasnt a very healthy choice at the time but I dont have that so bad now b.c. I moved.. I dont know how to cure this at all and if anyone has any advice I would love to hear it as I would like to see people from my past and enjoy it.. I dont think mine is a fear of what they'll think as much as I hate that feeling I get when around them.. I even avoid setting up visits and phone calls! its terrible!
I moved out of my home town b.c. I was so afraid of seeing someone I knew and when I did it was like my world was ending. I know it wasnt a very healthy choice at the time but I dont have that so bad now b.c. I moved.. I dont know how to cure this at all and if anyone has any advice I would love to hear it as I would like to see people from my past and enjoy it.. I dont think mine is a fear of what they'll think as much as I hate that feeling I get when around them.. I even avoid setting up visits and phone calls! its terrible!
Sorry, I had typos in the last one.
P&P,
I want to tell you something that I hope will help you and others. Please forgive the length, but I need to paint the whole picture for everyone.
One of the biggest fears I have (and alot of other people have)is getting up in front of a large group of people and make a presentation (especially at work). A few months ago I took a two day course on public speaking. This is where they have you stand up in front of the room and make a presentation (about 5 to 7 minutes in length). They had us present twice (once the first day, and once the second). They video tape you both times, then have you watch the video in another room after each presentation with one of the instructors. You use the same presentation both days, but the second day is your 2nd run through after getting feedback off the video from the first day.
Some people came to class prepared and had something in mind to present. I did not have material so the instructor had a few diffent informational sheets of what we could present. I was not knowlegable in any of the material. I ended up picking one, and had 15 or so minutes to prepare.
When It was my turn I got up in front of the room and started in. I got about a minute into it and kind of drew a blank. There were long pauses between my sentences because I was trying to think of what to say next without saying uh or ummmm out loud. I then started to feel light headed, dizzy, and warm. My heart was starting to race. I started telling myself it was just a class (the class was a non-threatning environment in reality). Once I was done, I sat back down. I thought to myself boy, I will sure look terrible on the video.
About an hour later I got to see the video. Guess what, you would never know from watching the video that I was having a panic attack...............never know it at all. Sure there were big pauses in my speaking, but you could not sense panic. I was shocked and amused that I looked so together.
The above story should prove to us all that just because we are panicking inside does not mean people on the outside will know.
The other thing I learned in the class is they told us all that the bottom line is EVERYBODY gets nervouse doing a presentation in front of a group of people. A few years ago I would worry before I gave a presentation that I might get nervous and panic. Well guess what happened................yes I did get nervous, hot flash, dizzy, etc. I was fighting it, which made it WORSE.
Just float through the feelings.
Bill
P&P,
I want to tell you something that I hope will help you and others. Please forgive the length, but I need to paint the whole picture for everyone.
One of the biggest fears I have (and alot of other people have)is getting up in front of a large group of people and make a presentation (especially at work). A few months ago I took a two day course on public speaking. This is where they have you stand up in front of the room and make a presentation (about 5 to 7 minutes in length). They had us present twice (once the first day, and once the second). They video tape you both times, then have you watch the video in another room after each presentation with one of the instructors. You use the same presentation both days, but the second day is your 2nd run through after getting feedback off the video from the first day.
Some people came to class prepared and had something in mind to present. I did not have material so the instructor had a few diffent informational sheets of what we could present. I was not knowlegable in any of the material. I ended up picking one, and had 15 or so minutes to prepare.
When It was my turn I got up in front of the room and started in. I got about a minute into it and kind of drew a blank. There were long pauses between my sentences because I was trying to think of what to say next without saying uh or ummmm out loud. I then started to feel light headed, dizzy, and warm. My heart was starting to race. I started telling myself it was just a class (the class was a non-threatning environment in reality). Once I was done, I sat back down. I thought to myself boy, I will sure look terrible on the video.
About an hour later I got to see the video. Guess what, you would never know from watching the video that I was having a panic attack...............never know it at all. Sure there were big pauses in my speaking, but you could not sense panic. I was shocked and amused that I looked so together.
The above story should prove to us all that just because we are panicking inside does not mean people on the outside will know.
The other thing I learned in the class is they told us all that the bottom line is EVERYBODY gets nervouse doing a presentation in front of a group of people. A few years ago I would worry before I gave a presentation that I might get nervous and panic. Well guess what happened................yes I did get nervous, hot flash, dizzy, etc. I was fighting it, which made it WORSE.
Just float through the feelings.
Bill
I can totally relate to how you feel. I have always been self-concious of my appearance. Strange for a man I know. I am only 42 but in the past 5 years I have really aged. Probably all the meds that I have taken for acne, anxiety and depression. I have no problems around people that I see on a regular basis but when I run into someone whom I haven't seen in awhile I feel anxious and am ready to get out of the place asap. Sometimes they even are so insensitive as to make comments about losing my hair, how I've aged, etc. It totally ticks me off when they make comments. I try to just laugh it off but it hurts. For example, I saw my aunt who I see about 3 times yearly in a department store. She didn't see me so I walked around until she was gone. I realize this behavior is totally irrational and I am going to use the skills I learn in the program to combat it. Just wanted to let you know that I know exactly where you are coming from and you are not by yourself.
I had to respond to Maeggie especially b/c I actually live in my hometown. I had moved away for only like 2 yrs if that, and moved back with my husband (then he was my boyfriend)and we bought a house a block away from where I grew up. This is a really great town with a good school system for my kids but I am constantly seeing people that I went to school with. My neighbor across the street graduated a year ahead of me and the guy down the street went to the prom with my older sister! My only advice is really to just "do it". I know, corny, but its the truth b/c I am forced daily to see these people (our kids go to school together!) but it really has gotten easier. The only hard thing about it has been to make people understand I am not the same person as I was in high school (thank God!!!). Lucinda really told a great story in one of the tapes when she put her cook book in the refrigerator and was so mortified and nervous b/c she thought the other women saw her do it. When she realized they didn't care she was like "who do I think I am...those women don't care about what I am doing or what I did". That is so true-people do not really notice or care about our nervousness and panic in social settings.
Wow, I didn't realize there were so many people who shared this problem,ahaha
Bill, great story, thanks for sharing, I'll keep your words in mind.
Clay, some people are incredibly insensitive and lack all tact. I have dodged family in the mall. But if I were meeting up with them, I wouldn't react in the same way. I think its the what if thinking.
I guess it drives me crazy because despite being naturally shy, I've worked on it for so many years and few people would call me shy.
Thank-you very much everyone
Bill, great story, thanks for sharing, I'll keep your words in mind.
Clay, some people are incredibly insensitive and lack all tact. I have dodged family in the mall. But if I were meeting up with them, I wouldn't react in the same way. I think its the what if thinking.
I guess it drives me crazy because despite being naturally shy, I've worked on it for so many years and few people would call me shy.
Thank-you very much everyone
Hi Completely irrational fear -- no more! One technique that you might want to try is to use positive talk when you meet someone. Say to yourself that they are thinking, "what a nice person you are" and wow, "I bet they are thinking also that they really miss seeing you and how happy they are to meet you again". Just think about how much you enjoyed their company when you did used to see them in the past. This way, you might actually replace some of the negative thoughts with some positive affirmations! Remember, you are special!