I'm very slowly improving with combatting negative thoughts and trying my best to allow "not quite right" feelings. I get times where I get extremely frustrated that I can't get over this and then fight what-ifs about whether this will always be an issue for me.
Does it work like I think/hope it will? If you combat and replace the negatives enough times and do your best to give in to them, do they themselves stop coming at you? I get so frustrated that I even have them bombard me in the first place. Those of you who have recovered, do they stop coming at you as much and then you feel like you're living without dealing with this every day? I just want to hope there's a point when I won't feel like I need me guard up to defend myself. Will this happen??
what's going to happen?
Hi KDlady:
This is a toughy. I am not recovered by many means (on session 4) so I cannot answer that but what I can do is share some of my progress thus far.(I am skeptical too still and know I have a long way to go!)
I have been battling my negative and ocd thoughts.. and the odd time I'll get a wave of 'calm, happiness, peace' and I know practise makes perfect..
I believe we can completely change this thinking around. I know I read a post by a veteran and he said something to the effect of, when you start getting better and understanding the disorder your negative thoughts and ocd thoughts will get stronger , its like a demon you are slaying, it keeps trying to control you. Forget it. You control it. That hit home to me.. b.c. when I first started I didnt even know i had ocd that diagnosis came just after when I starting consulting many professionals.. my ocd as i now know it, and my thoughts/anxiety got so bad it was to the point I packed it up and tried to send it back. I am grateful I didnt thanks to many members who kept inspiring me to challenge this.
It is a big CHALLENGE for us and we can totally kick its ass..
Keep posting and chatting, we are all here for you!
This is a toughy. I am not recovered by many means (on session 4) so I cannot answer that but what I can do is share some of my progress thus far.(I am skeptical too still and know I have a long way to go!)
I have been battling my negative and ocd thoughts.. and the odd time I'll get a wave of 'calm, happiness, peace' and I know practise makes perfect..
I believe we can completely change this thinking around. I know I read a post by a veteran and he said something to the effect of, when you start getting better and understanding the disorder your negative thoughts and ocd thoughts will get stronger , its like a demon you are slaying, it keeps trying to control you. Forget it. You control it. That hit home to me.. b.c. when I first started I didnt even know i had ocd that diagnosis came just after when I starting consulting many professionals.. my ocd as i now know it, and my thoughts/anxiety got so bad it was to the point I packed it up and tried to send it back. I am grateful I didnt thanks to many members who kept inspiring me to challenge this.
It is a big CHALLENGE for us and we can totally kick its ass..
Keep posting and chatting, we are all here for you!
Wow - what a great question.
Let's clarify for a second. I've gone throught he program on my own once, then did the coaching. So, ultimately, I've been through it twice and feel like I'm on the right path, I feel sooooo much better, but I don't consider myself 100% recovered. I consider myself 'on the right path' to recovery and I know I'll get there.
Okay, that said, here's my experience. Yes, the negative thoughts did stop coming in the flood they used to, but some still come. What I found absolutely awesome was my brain's ability to combat them automatically without my being completely aware of what I was doing. It was like a thought of 'well that was a stupid thing I just did' would pop in, then immediately, before I'd even digest that thought, a new thought of 'hey, that wasn't stupid, it was something I can learn from' would be there and I'd think "how cool is that?!" I'd be so proud of myself and the good feelings create a positive spiral instead of a negative one.
I couldn't tell you if my experience is common, but it's what is happening with me.
Yes, negative thoughts still come through and I still need to combat them, but I feel less like I'm fighting and more like I'm nurturing. It's a great feeling and I know you'll be able to get there soon!
Hang in there - be the wonderful person you are!
Ronda
Let's clarify for a second. I've gone throught he program on my own once, then did the coaching. So, ultimately, I've been through it twice and feel like I'm on the right path, I feel sooooo much better, but I don't consider myself 100% recovered. I consider myself 'on the right path' to recovery and I know I'll get there.
Okay, that said, here's my experience. Yes, the negative thoughts did stop coming in the flood they used to, but some still come. What I found absolutely awesome was my brain's ability to combat them automatically without my being completely aware of what I was doing. It was like a thought of 'well that was a stupid thing I just did' would pop in, then immediately, before I'd even digest that thought, a new thought of 'hey, that wasn't stupid, it was something I can learn from' would be there and I'd think "how cool is that?!" I'd be so proud of myself and the good feelings create a positive spiral instead of a negative one.
I couldn't tell you if my experience is common, but it's what is happening with me.
Yes, negative thoughts still come through and I still need to combat them, but I feel less like I'm fighting and more like I'm nurturing. It's a great feeling and I know you'll be able to get there soon!
Hang in there - be the wonderful person you are!
Ronda
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cgbutterflygirl
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:20 pm
I have never done the program, don't even own it... wish I did! I can tell you that I have had a lot of negative thoughts and they suck really bad, but they do get better. You are scared to death they are going to come back - but I agree that your brain starts fighting them for you and you just say that was a stupid thought and put it in the stupid thought box and put it away... you actually have to visualize taking that thought carrying it to the stupid thought box and locking it. I hate the thoughts that I have, they would scare anyone and make people think that I am crazy but I know thaty they are just thoughts and I can get through it just like you can. Thoughts are thoughts and actions are stronger than thoughts so as long as you don't act on your thoughts you will be ok. You know?
Hi Cgbutterflygirl:
I didnt know you werent working the program.. it is an amazing thing! You have a good point about the 'stupid thought box' but I have to add something to your post. Some sufferers dont simply have negative thoughts that they can just say, 'dont act on them' generally its the fear of acting that continues the vicious cycle. You must reinvent the cycle. Dont have a fear at all of acting because you control the thoughts. Once the cycle is broken and a new one begins the fear dissipates. Use the sessions as they build on eachother- they sort of acts as an 'iron clad' way to recover.
Best wishes!
I didnt know you werent working the program.. it is an amazing thing! You have a good point about the 'stupid thought box' but I have to add something to your post. Some sufferers dont simply have negative thoughts that they can just say, 'dont act on them' generally its the fear of acting that continues the vicious cycle. You must reinvent the cycle. Dont have a fear at all of acting because you control the thoughts. Once the cycle is broken and a new one begins the fear dissipates. Use the sessions as they build on eachother- they sort of acts as an 'iron clad' way to recover.
Best wishes!
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cgbutterflygirl
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:20 pm
Maeggie... you are definitely right. The fear of acting on them is a definite fear... God that is one of my most dominant fears! I am just trying to put them away. I just have to believe that I would never act on them... I Pray every day. I Pray that no one ever does! I have to remember they are just thoughts and nothing more. Not reality!
Yes, the flood slows to just a little stream if you let it.I thought I was going to go bananas with how much I had to keep writing in the little notebook. That's the key--you really have to work at retraining yourself and your thinking. I am so much kinder to myself. I have kids and what worked for me was saying to myself "Would I say this to my little child." The answer was always NO WAY! So why do it to myself.
I like Ronda's post. They are nurturing thoughts--not negative.
And yes, there does come a time when you don't think of your anxiety 24/7. You are already working toward that and you will get there. I completed the program in Oct. There have been some days I needed to listen to the tapes again to help me figure out how to deal with stuff,but the key has been I'm recognizing it for what it is (some stress) and not turning it into farmchick bashing, obsessive thinking or panic attacks.
You will be free. Believe it. Peace to you.
I like Ronda's post. They are nurturing thoughts--not negative.
And yes, there does come a time when you don't think of your anxiety 24/7. You are already working toward that and you will get there. I completed the program in Oct. There have been some days I needed to listen to the tapes again to help me figure out how to deal with stuff,but the key has been I'm recognizing it for what it is (some stress) and not turning it into farmchick bashing, obsessive thinking or panic attacks.
You will be free. Believe it. Peace to you.
Thanks for the comments and help/confidence!
cgbutterfylgirl, you comments kinda made me uneasy about the acting on them, but hey! that right there was just a thought so I'm letting it ride If you're really not doing the program yet, I would certainly suggest it. It's great! Just a lot of hard work.
I like knowing that if I keep at it like I am, it won't be so 24/7 and ongoing on certain days. I'm having a baby in 3 weeks so there is certainly a reason behind a certain level of unease and I'm going to keep on these skills and replacing as much as I can.
Thanks again for all the comments and support!
cgbutterfylgirl, you comments kinda made me uneasy about the acting on them, but hey! that right there was just a thought so I'm letting it ride
If you're really not doing the program yet, I would certainly suggest it. It's great! Just a lot of hard work.I like knowing that if I keep at it like I am, it won't be so 24/7 and ongoing on certain days. I'm having a baby in 3 weeks so there is certainly a reason behind a certain level of unease and I'm going to keep on these skills and replacing as much as I can.
Thanks again for all the comments and support!
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cgbutterflygirl
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:20 pm
KD... I certainly did not mean to make you feel uneasy. I was just trying to say that they are just thoughts and with a lot of hard work they will go away! I Pray every day that they go away and NEVER come back! Good luck on your new baby...lots of great wishes! I am sorry I made you feel uneasy. I know I would never act on my thoughts... and I know you won't either! I Pray that no one ever does! I am so sorry!