Avice Please.
Lately I have been having to come here alot for advice, I guess it is all part of the healing. I am feeling a little guilty because I haven't been returning my sisters phone calls. She hasn't done anything to me she just comes across sometimes as controlling and bossy. She asks so many questions and I always feeling like she judges me and sometimes my parenting ability. Like I am not involving my kids in enough activity etc. Maybe I am just thinking this but it does seem like she thinks she is so much more equipped at everything. For one we don't have extra money for horseback riding etc. and she says she will pay but that just doesn't seem right to me. Oh I feel so negative. She has always been everyone in the family's fav. and the best aunt etc. but she has the money to help everyone in need etc. and always says she can't help it that she has always been the caretaker. But I feel like I am caring also and never get recogized by anyone in our big family, nieces etc. its all about her. I guess I seem jealous and I think its more just hurt like I just exist but no one really even thinks about me etc. Her husband and son have even been rude and disrespectful at diff. times to me and then act like they never did anything if I confront her. I am trying to be less effected but find it so difficult. I live away from my whole family and sometimes it is lonely but then other times I think it probably is better even if I feel forgotten. This one sister does always attempt to keep in touch its just somedays are hard being nice and then she will hang up and immediately call my mom and say something about me sounding down or whatever. Its a vicous cycle. She doesn't understand people feeling depressed etc. obviously but doesn't understand its not a choice we make to feel this way. I just needed to vent and have no friends here where I live and my husband is at work and kids at school. So here I am trying to make sense of everything and feeling blah. I am just not feeling up to talking to her and now she is going to ask why I haven't returned her calls and I don't want to say anything off key. Any suggestions feel free to send my way. I can use any advice and put it to good use. For now I will just not answer if she calls because I no I will sound blah to her and give her something to talk about. Thanks for letting me vent. I am going to listen to the relaxation cd for now.
Hi. Have you thought of repeating this program? It sounds like you are falling back into worry and self talk, which isn't helping you. I completed the entire program, and am now reworking it from the first session because I want to reinforce the skills and practice of using these tools. This will help me avoid having events (that never worked) reoccur. Repeating the program might help you jump out of this "cycle" you are finding yourself caught up in with your family. Best of luck.
Thanks Pecos. I am working the program and still working on session 6. When I finish I do plan on redoing it just in case I have missed out or didn't quite absorb everything. I am persistant and will not give up on this. I want to recover and change my way of thinking in the worst way. I have alot of alone time and tend to overthink things I suppose. Thanks again.