Loving feelings?

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GI822
Posts: 61
Joined: Sat Jun 14, 2008 11:52 am

Post by GI822 » Thu Sep 04, 2008 2:19 pm

I have always thought of myself as a caring and loving person, however, I would rarely show my feelings. Like I would tell my parents that I love them and appreciate them but I really never did that with anyone else except for my pets.

Take my boyfriend for example. Before I had my anxiety really bad, I would go about my life and usually boss him around and take control of everything. I would never tell him that I missed him, or I was happy we were together unless he said it first.

Now that my anxiety is worse and I've started the program, I feel like my emotions are pouring out. Like I wrote my parents a thank you card, with a poem about how much I appreciate them and love them. I tell my boyfriend I miss him or that I'm happy when he comes home from work. I would never cry in front of him, in fact I rarely cry. But just recently I've cried twice in front of him and now he thinks I'm depressed.

Does anyone else feel like this? It's weird to me to express all of these feelings.

Paul R.
Posts: 79
Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:17 pm

Post by Paul R. » Thu Sep 04, 2008 3:58 pm

GI, who cares what other people think?

You are a-l-i-v-e!! FEEL IT!! LIVE IT!!

if that means being sloppy and crying until snot runs out your nose then do it! hey- isn't that why God made sleeves? (jk?) :)

and if you feel like laughing, then laugh until it hurts.

LIVE.

listen, when this started for me, perhaps one of the biggest reasons why i began to have panic attacks was because all of the stress from my job, pressures from home, and pressures that i put on myself all built up inside of me to the breaking point.

i was emotionally numb for months.

after the panic attacks, i cried alot. in fact, i was scared and so out of touch with my emotions that one fear that i had was that if i started to cry, would i be able to stop?

no lie.

but gradually, i let go.

did i worry that people would think i was depressed if they saw me, a man crying? sure.

but let's get down to brass tacks, here GI.

what is more important: you and your wellbeing, or the opinions of others? i want you to seriously consider this. even a people pleaser deep down inside will realize that your own well being is more important.

so, who cares what others think?

my Dad and I went to see Wall-E this summer. i cried in that movie. i'm 33. i needed a break from all of the action stuff and my dad and I wanted to share a light movie together.

what can i say? the little robot was cute.

bottom line: it gets better. crying is a normal, healthy HUMAN emotion. LET IT OUT! give yourself permission to "get snotty".

honestly, i think if more people were honest with themselves and their emotions, things would be a whole lot easier.

Paul R.
Posts: 79
Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:17 pm

Post by Paul R. » Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:01 pm

P.S.

and I really don't think that there has ever been a cry where I didn't feel better and as if a weight had been lifted off of me afterwards.

cry away ;)

pecos
Posts: 248
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2008 6:31 pm

Post by pecos » Fri Sep 05, 2008 9:40 am

Censoring who we are often has the same effect on our lives as knowing when the stove is hot and touching it anyway. Being polite is one thing, and there is always a place for good manners. That's not what you are talking about, nor Paul, nor me. Life is in this moment, and if you want to tell others how much you care for them, DO IT TODAY. My brother was very young, in his 20's, when he died. The last time I spoke with him I just listened to his adventures. I did not say, You know, you are a grand and wonderful brother, and I love you dearly. We never know how many more times we have to tell someone great things about them. I say, tell your parents often, write poems for them, tell your boyfriend. Tell all the people you regularly encounter (and enjoy) that you appreciate them. I wish I had told my brother last time I talked with him. Words are free. Load your words with sincerity and give them away as if they were pennies from heaven. Others will appreciate that. And your boyfriend will eventually get used to your diatribes with tears. Like Paul said, You are alive. Don't worry about it. And as for emotions, let them pour. You are heading in the right direction. ;)

formyboys
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 5:37 pm

Post by formyboys » Fri Sep 05, 2008 11:33 am

Paul,,,you are hysterical. I love reading your posts that have a slice of humor along with some great info....Keep on inspiring....And Pecos, you know already I love reading all of yours. Yes, cry,,,,,be alive. I love it.

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