Afraid of death

barnabas · Post by **barnabas** » Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:35 am

<A HREF="http://bbs.stresscenter.com/eve/forums/ ... 1441065501" TARGET=_blank>http://bbs.stresscenter.com/eve/forums/ ... 1065501</A>

Hi Josh the above link is my very first post here a few years back. My user name is differnt now , take a look at it I was where you are right now. Im not sure if I did the link correctly , the title of the post was "losing my mind scary thoughts" my user name was "heyjoe" you should be able to find it that way.

May I suggest to you a book " Mere Christianity" by C.S.Lewis, great read .

The only thing I can offer is what happened to me. I have found such a hope in Christ it can not be explained completly . I will pray that you too find it.

Take Care
Jackie

Tweety4_9 · Post by **Tweety4_9** » Sun Feb 17, 2008 12:29 pm

I can understand how some would see that the claim that Jesus is the only way is narrow minded. However, as a Christian (follower of Christ), I believe that what He says is truth. In John 14:6, Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes through except through me.” Therefore it is logical and consistent with my belief for me to take that position. It is certainly a claim of exclusivity. But it comes from Him and not me. The real issue is that if I am wrong and I die and there is nothing after this life, I have lost nothing. If I am right and Jesus is true, then I have lost everything and nothing I could have obtained in this world will matter.

The real hope of the Christian is not that Jesus will cure anxiety. The gospel never promises that all of your problems will be solved in this life. Any preacher telling you that life as a Christian should be a bed of roses has obviously not read the book of Job, or the rest of the Bible. Christians look forward to a day when all things will be made right. Revelation 21:1-4; “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and earth had ceased to exist, and the sea existed no more. And I saw the holy city – the new Jerusalem – descending out of heaven from God, made ready like a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying: “Look! The residence of God is among human beings. He will live among them, and they
will be his people, and God himself will be with them. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death will not exist any more – or mourning, or crying, or pain, for the former things have ceased to exist.”

wisdomseeker · Post by **wisdomseeker** » Sun Feb 17, 2008 1:45 pm

Josh, you may be just experiencing something called "existential loneliness". We confront critical questions of life & death. This certainly can cause anxiety. its a very interesting subject if you want to explore that further.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 17, 2008 2:33 pm

Josh:

I highly recommend that you study Near-Death-Experiences.

A prominent author on this subject is the former Professor of Psychiatry and prolific writer: Elisabeth KUBLER-ROSS.

Her short book: "On Life After Death" encapsulates what she states that she KNOWS about the reality of our continued existence after bodily death. / You can be led to other sources by looking up her book reviews on Amazon.com.

-Pete Dave Blair
pdavisblair@cox.net

Josh04 · Post by **Josh04** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:00 pm

wisdomseeker:
I never heard of that term before, I will check that out. Thanks.

Peter:
I actually have that book

I bought it probably 5+ years ago. In any case, thanks for the suggestion. I'm not sure where I stand belief-wise on NDEs at this point. Its a very interesting topic though.

Bakedpears · Post by **Bakedpears** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 12:34 am

Josh
Anxiety likes when you feel hopeless and fear death. Have you ever had someone scare you or manipulate you into doing what they want you to do? Or scare you so bad you were too afraid to leave them or believe in yourself? Anxiety is the force at work here. It wants you to keep believing a lie so you will never see the Truth. And the Truth is, we love and work and sacrifice and struggle for a greater goal. There is a huge reward in the end....or why would we do it? How can I be so sure? Because you can have part of the reward NOW! Right now you can have a little bit of heaven by letting yourself feel hopeful about eternity.

You can tell you are a loving person if you do not treat others like you treat yourself, in the sense that you make them feel as hopeless as you feel. I can't see anything you have said in your post here that attacks others the way you are attacking yourself. I hear you saying you cannot find purpose, but I don't hear you saying that others should also feel no purpose. You BELIEVE in love, hard work, living for purpose...but the fear of death sucks you back into believing there is nothing after this life. If you really believe that, why are you not living life wide open like there is no tomorrow? Because you have HOPE for a tomorrow, a heaven, an eternity. Hope won't let you not believe in love. Hope won't let you totally believe in death....at least a spiritual death. Physical death yes, but an end to your spirit, no. This is the part of you that wants to LIVE! No matter how many times fear puts a wet blanket on your fire, hope removes it and starts a new fire. It is even frightening to hope... but without hope we feel dead, we fear death, we get locked in the prison of death, and the hopelessness of death. It is good we will not be trapped in these limited bodies forever. There is so much joy beyond fear.

My guess is you have grown addicted to your fear of death over so many years. Giving it up would be hard, but really, you are not gaining by keeping it. What would your life look like without this fear of death? How could you truly LIVE?

I have worked for the StressCenter.com for 10 years now. I know what it feels like to fear death to the point of obsessing about it constantly. I don't have time to fear dying anymore, because I am too busy living.

I hope you will think about protecting yourself from this fear of death by putting the skills in the program to practice. You have everything you need within you to get started today.

Blessings,
Tammy

Lenore · Post by **Lenore** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 2:37 am

Dear Josh:

I so agree w/ BAKESPEARS(TAMMY) - GREAT POST TAMMY. Anxiety can & will create a realm of reality that is the SUMTOTAL of: fear, anger, pain, loss of hope, pesimism(sp - its early lol), doom, gloom - EVERY SINGLE NEGATIVE EMOTION YOU CAN THINK OF - w/ the leader being FEAR. THIS REALM OF REALITY IS FALSE. Anxiety just wants you to believe ITS TRUTH - the 1 it creates for you, inside of you.

Tammy phrased it much more elequently than I could - but, if I may give you MY EX - THE 1 I GAVE MY THERAPIST WHEN MY ANXIETY DISORDER WENT DWN: 1) you know when you're leaving your home in the morning for work? You go to close your house door behind you - w/ your back facing the door & your chest/front of your body facing the street, that is me: cept, the min I face the street - @ that very moment - I am the only 1 in the world-in existence. 2) My anxiety disorder triggered in Apr-2005: SPRING. I remember so clearly. It is sunny & gentle breeze outside - birds chirping, the breeze gently brushing up against the tree's leaves - cause them to dance/move, flowers blooming all around, the laughter of people celebrating this beauty - I knew it was there - NOW, imagine if you will this: a BURQA - covering my entire body-physically: it blinds me to what I know is there, but can't see it + feel it + experience it, for I am blinded by the BURQA. I don't feel the sun or the breeze or see the leaves moving or hear the birds chirping. When I am able to hear & experience these things, I become alive - my soul & spirit rejoices. However, when the BURQA covered me - inhibiting my ability to SEE OR EXPERIENCE THESE THINGS - the BURQA then creates a DOMINO EFFECT: I become fearful + sad + depressed + discouraged + inhibited + restricted + pessimistic + dreadful + full of doom & gloom - because that BURQA created a reality for me that inhibited my ability to live/breath/experience life in its true form & wonderment. THAT BURQA = ANXIETY DISORDER - & that is what anxiety disorder was like for me 3 yrs ago. I knew it, heck I felt it & was living in this existence. However, somewhere deep inside I KNEW IT WASN'T ME -

Oh I too had a fear of dying: I had PTSD fr 9/11 + the surgery I had in Mar-2005 that acted as the TRIGGER for my anxiety disorder. Add to that the cumulativeness of all things anxiety disorder emcompasses - I was living in a constant state of fear & thinking I was gonna die - fearing it & living it 24/7 - It was torturing me. Yet, simultaneously, something deep inside of me was questioning THIS REALITY -I knew that wasn't me - the person & woman I knew me to be + I loved life - I was fun & crazy - a go getter - make it happen. That fire in the pit of my spirit was the catapult that allowed me to question it - & as a result fight it.

During the course of my journey(starting w/ therapy in May-2005 & Lucinda's program in Nov-2006 & completing it 1st time in March-2007) - I faced my past, myself & felt the pain necessary for change to happen. I, like many, took on the most courageous journey - TO CHANGE MYSELF - & by doing that, I chose to LIVE LIFE -experiencing all its wonderment w/ a new set of eyes - the knowledge & experience I've gained along the way - showed me THE LIES ANXIETY tells - the reality it tried to create - the untruths it tried to make me believe - the existence it insisted I live - the many fears it instilled in me & the ever existing & constant state of the end= death. I am so honest w/ you when I say - I WAS ABLE TO SEE & FEEL THE DIFF OF B/4 & AFTER - HAVING RECOVERED - that being the existence & lies & fears anxiety tried to create for me & make me believe.

In 1993, I used to work in dwntown nyc - in the WTC. When they bombed the WTC - I was there: I worked 2 wtc - 81st flr. On 9/11, although no longer working in the WTC any longer - but still working in dwntown nyc, when the 1st plane hit - I was on a train - in the tunnel of the WTC. I got out - & was kind of stuck in dwntown nyc for several hrs afterwards, as many were. Then, in March-2005, I had surgery for the 1st time in my 39yrs. Long story short - I was coming out of the anesthesia: couldn't see or hear anything yet - cept the tube was still in my throat(at the time I didn't know what it was) - I couldn't breath & couldn't convey I couldn't breath & was gagging & gasping for air. I panicked - I thought I was dieing. Then, b/4 I was able to see anything yet, I heard soft voices calling my name, "lenore lenore lenore" - I thought they were the angels calling me home to heaven. Then, I was able to see - the voices were the nurses & dr's - cept the fear was set & I was in a state of shock = PTSD. As a result of these mentioned things, the min I got home fr the hosp - I thought I was gonna die - any min & lived in fear as a result. I couldn't watch tv shows about hospitals & such. I definitely wasn't able to watch footage of 9/11 - I'd shake. Getting home fr the hospital on a sat after the surgery - anxiety disorder was in FULL FORCE - by that Mon or tues. By that following sat I had a visit w/ my reg dr & w/in 1 wk of that I made an appt w/ a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed w/ anxiety disorder, panic attack, & ptsd - like, YEAHHHHHH - LOL. I don't have words to acurately describe or quanitfy what I felt - or what it felt like - only to tell you this, which is what was the point I wanted to make: I felt a fear as never b/4 - cumulative & variety of fears, particularly of DYING - I wanted to live.

It was thru facing these fears & happenings in therapy, then doing Lucinda's program - that I've learned to TRULY LIVE for the 1st time in my life - it honestly feels like I was REBORN - given a 2nd chance - by healing fr the events, realizing I didn't die, changing those parts of me that created the anxiety disorder, & by learning the SKILLS OF THE PROGRAM - I am living & experiencing life w/ a new a new found appreciation. It was gradual - & b/4 I knew it, little by little - I felt me unburdened of the fears - wanting to live now - like a SPONGE TO WATER - aborbing it all.

I am Catholic. I wont preach religion here - or force my personal views, out of respect. I will say I believe in Heaven - a life here after this one - I believe this is JUST PRACTICE so to speak. I calmly & quietly accepted death as a whole - being inevitable, while understanding the bigger lesson in all of this: living now - as Lucinda says IN THE PRECIOUS PRESENT MOMENT! By accepting the evitable - I didn't fear it & I lived again, like a sponge to water - absorbing it all - not living in dread or expectance as if waiting for death to happen - NO. Like Tammy said - too busy living. By unburdening myself w/ surpressed emotions & fears in therapy & facing /changing myself w/ LUCINDA'S PROGRAM - I made room for the good stuff - the real stuff - A NEW ME - A POSITIVE ME - A LIFE LIVING ME - utilizing the skills of this program - everyday, day in & out.

I KNOW I CAN TALK - lol

I just wanted to convey my experience w/ anxiety disorder - anxiety disorder attempts to create a reality - not true. It attempts to inhibit/restrict/paralize thru fear & all things negative. It creates a fausaud - so real you can believe it to be true. I did - I assumed THIS IS ME & THIS IS MY LIFE. It was thru facing all the fears head on in therapy & the program - unburdening myself w/ surpressed emotions - that I was able to see & feel & experience the truth - HONEST, I AM NOT LYING - it honestly felt like THAT BURQA had been lifted off of me & I could see thr truth again: I felt the breeze & sun on my face, I saw the flowers & heard the birds chirping - cause anxiety lost its grip on me. See, I had the power all along - it was the process & this journey that taught me that. Sure, fr time to time anxiety will try to get its way again w/ me - edge its way in - HELL NO. I recognize it now, I have skills, & I don't fear it - as a result, I SQUASH it right fr the get go.

I'm gonna share 1 last thing w/ you: hubby & I recently got a SHIH POO PUPPY - in Nov-2007. Her name is GINGER. On 1 sat in the fall, we were walking her outside. It was sunny & the leaves were falling. Hubby was actually walking Ginger, as I walked besides them. As I was walking, I saw this 1 particular leaf. It was the most beautiful thing: red/orange/yellow in it - just perfect. I said to hubby, "hun, isn't this beautiful". All of a sudden, I got GOOSEBUMPS all over me - I WAS LIVING IN THE PRECIOUS PRESENT MOMENT - I was doing it. Well I am a sap queen - I cried a few tears, said a silent prayer to God in appreciation & gratitude - & I picked up that leaf & brought it home. I scanned that leaf on my computer to save it as a rememberance - of that moment & as a constant reminder: I WILL NOT LIVE IN FEAR, I WILL LIVE NOW - NOT FEARING DEATH - I AM LIVING IN THE PRECIOUS PRESENT MOMENT.

LENORE

Below is a picture of MY LEAF:

<img src="http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z210 ... 302007.jpg"

IALP · Post by **IALP** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 3:45 am

As a teen I read Life After Death, which helped some anxiety on the subject.
About 9 years ago, as a very young mother, I read The Burning Within by Ranelle Wallace with Curtis Taylor. She shares her personal experience of surviving a plane accident, being extensively burned, and her dying then being brought back. I have recommended this book to many people who appreciated it as much as I.
There is not an eternal end to life. When we die, it is another beginning. We existed before life, we exist now, and we will continue to exist. Not only will we continue to exist, but we will be with others. Our fears and anxieties will be dead after this life, but our soul will not.
As a Christian, I do believe in the resurrection of the body (our spirit and body - in perfect form- coming back together, which makes up our soul, perfected in Christ). Jesus Christ overcame the bonds of death so all who ever lived or will ever live will be resurrected. Without any doubt or anxiety I know Jesus lives and he truly overcame death. This gives me peace and comfort when I think about death.
My mom is dying and will die unless she receives a liver transplant. My dear grandpa died the end of September. I truly believe that I will see him again and when my mom's spirit leaves this world - there is the promise of resurrection - I will see her spirit again as a spirit myself and when the resurrection occurs, I will see her and so many others in a resurrected form.
Ranelle Wallace's experience in The Burning Within pages 88-116 share what she saw and felt. I think I will read it again.
Please take care.

Bakedpears · Post by **Bakedpears** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:08 am

Lenore-
What a beautiful picture of hope you are! I love the leaf. I love those moments when I can see the beauty. There is so much in this life to weigh us down. Bless you for helping us stay uplifted and hopeful.

Thanks for sharing your story.
Tammy

Bakedpears · Post by **Bakedpears** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:13 am

Jesus Christ overcame the bonds of death so all who ever lived or will ever live will be resurrected.

Amen.