Anxiety relating to boyfriend being deployed

aliengal24 · Post by **aliengal24** » Thu May 28, 2009 2:45 am

Hi everyone,

My boyfriend Alex and I have been together for a little over a year and a half. We're very happy together and in love. He was in the army for 5 years, he signed up when he was 19. He went to Iraq for a year and when he came back is when him and I got together. He has since gotten out of the army, but they can call him back up at anytime within the next year and 8 months for deployment.He's on reserve. The unit that he was in is supposively getting deployed around January. Alex said that if they need another driver they will call him up. He's a sgt. and a driver, he said his position is important and needed. I'm petrified that he's going to get sent back. I know there's nothing I can do about it except to wait and I just keep dwelling on it and obsessing and it's really keeping me down lately. I try to replace it with a postive but it's so hard to find one in this situation for me.

I don't know if I could handle him getting deployed. I love him so much and I don't want anything to happen to him. I don't know what would happen with out relationship either. I know he doesn't want to go either so my heart would just break for him. I've never felt like this about anyone, so the fact that he could just have to leave is really scaring me. Does anybody have any advice on how to cope with this or what to do? Thanks everyone.

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Thu May 28, 2009 8:46 am

Allow yourself to worry about this once a day. Once a day only and it must be on paper - not in your head. Get out tablet and pen and write, write, write about your fears and concerns in regard to your boyfriend's possible deployment. Write whatever comes to your mind. Don't hold back. Write for 20 minutes. When you are done, that's it for the day. No more. When your concerns come up tell yourself that it's ok to worry but it will have to wait until such and such time tomorrow. When such and such time comes sit down and worry on paper again for twenty minutes. Do this exercise until you no longer feel the need to do it any longer. You will know.

OlHippieChick · Post by **OlHippieChick** » Thu May 28, 2009 9:25 am

Keep in mind he feels his job is very important to him and he does not worry about it and you should not. January is a long way away so enjoy today, and if he does have to go, cross that bridge then.

Most everything that you are worrying about will not happen. Take it to the worst case scenario, and then leave it alone. You can handle anything, we all have, even through all the anxiety.

aliengal24 · Post by **aliengal24** » Thu May 28, 2009 9:57 am

thank you so much boon and olhippiechick.
It's a really good idea to write, I think I'm going to try doing that and worry about it for a lil while and get it over with! Thanks!
And I'm going to just try to live for the moment and deal with things as they come...I know I need to work on this. Thanks so much for responding, I really appreciate the advice!

Tofte · Post by **Tofte** » Thu Jun 18, 2009 2:59 pm

I can totally understand you anxiety and you have been already given some good advice. One tool that I use is gratitude, how lucky you are to have found someone you love so much. Try to focus on enjoying your time together, don't spoil today worrying about something that might not ever happen. If it does happen you will get through it, believe that and sometimes finding someone else in the same situation can be supportive. You will make it through this.