Well I'm not going to go through my whole spiel of what I do or what not, cause my energy is completely zapped right now, but if you look at my login name you will gather that, yes, I am a boxer. A kickboxer at that. My life, my company, most everything except my day job revolves around kickboxing.
Anyway, about two months ago I was hit with a doozy of an anxiety episode that has left me paralyzed by fear, why this is happening I dont know. I can pinpoint some stressors in my life but I was able to deal with harder things before with no problems. I finished the program about 3 years ago, have been taking Lexapro and was doing great. I would say almost 100% anxiety free.
So anyway here I am now, writing to you, my online friends and virtual confidants, in a tone that is something short of unhinged desperation.
I have a pretty big fight coming up and well I am so anxious that it takes almost all the energy in the world to go for my morning runs and then go to the gym for my routine training at night. Work, is so routine it's like an out of body experience, I hardly remember how I got their or how I get home. And the days are going by as if their are no dates or time. All linear, circular, and without end.
The advice I need is this: I feel like quitting my training, cancelling my fight, just stopping. However, my dilemma is that would quitting this be giving up and letting my anxiety take over? Or am I giving myself time to feel better? Aaagh I know the program would tell me not to stop but its so hard. If I didn't feel the way I feel right now, Im the type of guy that sweats to exhaustion and then some when I'm training. I would be dying to get in the ring. But my anxiety and fear have zapped me of all desire. Plus this is my passion. And I feel that without it, the anxiety may grab me even worse.
I wonder if I should discuss the way I am feeling with my coach, who is needless to say a huge inspiration and a great person. He pushes me hard and has changed me as an athlete in so many ways. I wonder if discussing my feelings with him would help me feel better about going to training, because I go in there and I feel I am going to let him down, because he is giving it his all when he is training me and investing his time, and I am doing everything pretty half way.
I think he sees something is wrong cause he knows me very well. So many questions for you guys to answer I know, I just need some advice or a pick me up or something. I feel weak right now. Thanks everyone.
A dilemma from anxiety (need advice)
I'm new here, so let me preface with that. And I know almost nothing about kick boxing other than I would get really hurt doing it!! 
But what I would say is it sounds like your coach is someone you trust and respect, and in whom you can confide. For that reason I'd say it would be a good idea to talk to him about how you are feeling. I have personally quit things, not attended functions, etc, due to my anxiety, and it never made me feel any better. In fact I felt worse and regretted letting the anxiety take over. Maybe you need to take a temporary break, or maybe you and your coach will decide that pressing on is the best thing you can do. Either way talking to someone you trust who can be objective is important. Good luck to you!
But what I would say is it sounds like your coach is someone you trust and respect, and in whom you can confide. For that reason I'd say it would be a good idea to talk to him about how you are feeling. I have personally quit things, not attended functions, etc, due to my anxiety, and it never made me feel any better. In fact I felt worse and regretted letting the anxiety take over. Maybe you need to take a temporary break, or maybe you and your coach will decide that pressing on is the best thing you can do. Either way talking to someone you trust who can be objective is important. Good luck to you!
sounds like you need to concentrate on positive thoughts and not let the anxiety rule over your passion for fighting and kickboxing.. Your coach would agree, and I think if your coach is as good a person as you say.. he will understand and respect you for talking to him. like you said.. he can tell a difference in you anyway. You won't be letting him down by talking to him and confiding in him. You will only feel better if you fight your fears head on. so QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION. Stop thinking about quitting.. it's not the answer for your anxiety and you are stronger than that. Get back into the program and rejuvinate your positive thinking about yourself.
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Guest
Don't quit and let the anxiety beast win. You are the winner here. You will gain such confidence and pride going thru with the fight. At least you can say you tried. anxiety is very uncomfortable, but it will not harm you. Just scary body sensations. I have overcome intense panic and anxiety as well as agoraphobia w/out meds and it will get better. Time is our friend, new thinking is our friend, positive thinking and God is our healer.
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Guest
Hey Thai boxer,
Thats an awesome profession you have there. I love watching Pride, UFC, etc.. I wish some days I had the courage to be able to fight like that. YOu can do it man. Have a word with your coach. I know when i had hard times I told a close friend or parents what was happening and it did help. They really cant relate much but just by them encouraging you and hearing you out is a lot. Get up their and kick some ass. Review some lessons from the program. possibly 2,3,4,&8. Even though you have so much going on you gotz to remember to take time to do some relaxation sessions. I would love to here what you plan on doing.
Thats an awesome profession you have there. I love watching Pride, UFC, etc.. I wish some days I had the courage to be able to fight like that. YOu can do it man. Have a word with your coach. I know when i had hard times I told a close friend or parents what was happening and it did help. They really cant relate much but just by them encouraging you and hearing you out is a lot. Get up their and kick some ass. Review some lessons from the program. possibly 2,3,4,&8. Even though you have so much going on you gotz to remember to take time to do some relaxation sessions. I would love to here what you plan on doing.
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Guest
Well I want to thank all of you for your responses. I beat this thing with the help of the program years ago, and I will beat it again. Been reviewing program tapes and just kept moving regardless of the body symptoms. Yesterday, I had a pretty hardcore training session and came out dead tired but satisfied.
I spoke with my coach about my problem and as was expected he was totally cool and knowledgable, giving me his take on what I was going through. He said he didnt have anxiety to the extent I had, but had suffered from what he called the "blues" throughout his professional fighting career. He told me that during those days you have to grab the smallest bit of good in your situation and build from that.
Pretty much alot of what he told me was stuff I had already heard in the program and from my psychiatrist so it was good he had alot of knowledge about the ups and downs we go through as athletes and human beings, it made my respect for him increase tenfold and im just glad he is there for me. He told me life isn't fair but that I can let it beat me, which sounded alot like Lesson 4 to me, ha ha.
Anyway I decided I am going to go through with my fight. I want to beat this opponent because he is the typical Cobra Kai from Karate Kid type opponent. Arrogant, disrespectful, blah blah blah. I used to let this type of talk get to me, but with the program I dont anymore, also I realize its part of sport that you are always going to have the guys that like to talk smack and play mind games.
However, I dont want to beat this guy to beat him or simply to win. This time the battle is more with myself. I want to step in the ring and fight. Whther I win or lose I want to step up there and prove to myself that I can fight through this and that its not going to take away my passion for martial arts. A passion I feel pretty much keeps me alive!
Eddiediaz,
Im glad you like watching MMA, Im more of a stirker so my true love is Muay Thai, but I train submission wrestling and jiu jitsu to change up my training so it doesnt get boring. But I am a traidtional Muay Thai guy in every way. I went to Thailnd about a year ago and was there for about 4 months, fell in love with the culture, the people, and this sport even more.
Sometimes I think about dropping everything here in the States and moving to Thailand and just training for the rest of my life, living in a small shack in the beautiful islands in Southern Thailand. I have friends who have done it and live immensely austere but happy lives. Sometimes having everything doesnt exactly mean you have everything. This excess in the States is what I beleive has many of us on this forum the way we are.
I spoke with my coach about my problem and as was expected he was totally cool and knowledgable, giving me his take on what I was going through. He said he didnt have anxiety to the extent I had, but had suffered from what he called the "blues" throughout his professional fighting career. He told me that during those days you have to grab the smallest bit of good in your situation and build from that.
Pretty much alot of what he told me was stuff I had already heard in the program and from my psychiatrist so it was good he had alot of knowledge about the ups and downs we go through as athletes and human beings, it made my respect for him increase tenfold and im just glad he is there for me. He told me life isn't fair but that I can let it beat me, which sounded alot like Lesson 4 to me, ha ha.
Anyway I decided I am going to go through with my fight. I want to beat this opponent because he is the typical Cobra Kai from Karate Kid type opponent. Arrogant, disrespectful, blah blah blah. I used to let this type of talk get to me, but with the program I dont anymore, also I realize its part of sport that you are always going to have the guys that like to talk smack and play mind games.
However, I dont want to beat this guy to beat him or simply to win. This time the battle is more with myself. I want to step in the ring and fight. Whther I win or lose I want to step up there and prove to myself that I can fight through this and that its not going to take away my passion for martial arts. A passion I feel pretty much keeps me alive!
Eddiediaz,
Im glad you like watching MMA, Im more of a stirker so my true love is Muay Thai, but I train submission wrestling and jiu jitsu to change up my training so it doesnt get boring. But I am a traidtional Muay Thai guy in every way. I went to Thailnd about a year ago and was there for about 4 months, fell in love with the culture, the people, and this sport even more.
Sometimes I think about dropping everything here in the States and moving to Thailand and just training for the rest of my life, living in a small shack in the beautiful islands in Southern Thailand. I have friends who have done it and live immensely austere but happy lives. Sometimes having everything doesnt exactly mean you have everything. This excess in the States is what I beleive has many of us on this forum the way we are.
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Guest
Thaiboxer, I think you are a very courageous soul to get up there and live your dream, when inside your dealing with anxiety. I know exactly how you feel because I too suffer from anxiety. And I may not be a kick boxer but I am a mother, wife and daycare provider, many titles for one person, but you are living a dream of something you love so dont you give up keep going, you are an inspiration to people on here, your friends, family & your coach. I hope you will find peace again. And good luck with that fight I hope you kick some a**! I will be curious to see if you win, but even if you dont win that one fight, you won one of the biggest fights of your life and that is you beat anxiety once and your going to do it again.. Good luck to you my thoughts and prayers are with you. Oh by the way my husband loves kick boxing...
Gina
Gina
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Guest
Hey everyone, just wanted to update you guys on my progress. I really dove into my training and focused on continuing to train regardless of my body symptoms, sometimes are easier than others, but nonetheless, my training is coming along well. My fight is still not for another month, but I have had some pretty strong anxiety as of late.
However, I feel that my bad anxiety as of late has been due to outside stressors that interfere with my focus on training. I been trying to focus on finding a better day job, and so far nothing yet. My car just completely broke down like 2 weeks ago, and its a pretty big engine issue, so I have to wait for about another 2 weeks for it to get fixed. So getting around has been tough and stressful. Plus, cutting weight for a fight is always strenous and znxiety producing.
Add all that on top of training like crazy and well, I think I am handling it better than I expected. But needless to say its still really tough and I feel I am going to break down at times.
The positivity of some of you that have PMed me or commented helps me get by though so I thank you guys for that.
I hope everyone else is doing well and winning the little battles we all go through on a day to day basis.
However, I feel that my bad anxiety as of late has been due to outside stressors that interfere with my focus on training. I been trying to focus on finding a better day job, and so far nothing yet. My car just completely broke down like 2 weeks ago, and its a pretty big engine issue, so I have to wait for about another 2 weeks for it to get fixed. So getting around has been tough and stressful. Plus, cutting weight for a fight is always strenous and znxiety producing.
Add all that on top of training like crazy and well, I think I am handling it better than I expected. But needless to say its still really tough and I feel I am going to break down at times.
The positivity of some of you that have PMed me or commented helps me get by though so I thank you guys for that.
I hope everyone else is doing well and winning the little battles we all go through on a day to day basis.