Unable to cope with death

Icanchange · Post by **Icanchange** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:21 am

My best friends, best friend passed away this past weekend. My best friend was the one that found him. She called me and I immediately went into a panic attack that made me feel like I was going to die or jump off my balcony. My worst fear is having a heart attack and dying. My best friends, friend suffered from a heart condition and this immediately scared me. My left arm and chest have felt uneasy and tight for the past 2 days. My boyfriend tells me "if your best friend did not call you, you would be perfectly fine right now" I know its true but Im still terrified. I wake up with a feeling of dread and uneasiness. I have school tomorrow and Im fearful that I will get to school and lose my mind. How does everyone else deal with death? Someone please help me. Im desperate for help, please!

jorsen · Post by **jorsen** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:31 am

Boy do I understand where your coming from.

Heart attacks are my greatest fear even though I've had a ton of tests to show I am fine.

Well..I am still struggling with the concept of death to be honest...but the things that have helped me is the overwhelming evidence that life after death continues.

I have found www.near-death.com to be a help to me as it is a huge database of a lot of near death experiences. I've been reading a lot of books about it too specficailly Reginald Lester's "In search of the hereafter" and now working on "testimony of light" by helen greaves.

You just faced death of a friend...it is no wonder your scared. Hang in there...time will dull the pain you are feeling. Find comfort in your support groups wherever you have them. If you have some form of beliefsystem or spirituality that might help go for that.

Keep doing the program...it has helped me during these times...I find if I just force myself to do the relax cd I feel better.

klh163 · Post by **klh163** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:32 am

I'm so sorry to hear about your best friend's friend. Dealing with death is always hard, and even harder when you have anxiety issues. You automatically turn everything inward and start "what if" thinking - "what if that happens to me?, what if I die?, what if... what if... what if..." I know I do the same thing and it's really difficult to work through but you have to find ways to work through it. Find things to relax yourself - use the relaxation cd from the program. Take yourself out of the situation. Be a friend to your friend. It's hard to get through, but you just have to stop what if thinking and react without the what if. Good luck and there are many of us here if you need us.

Icanchange · Post by **Icanchange** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:44 am

Thanks! i know I can get through this, it just getting to that point that hurts. Each day since monday has gotten better and I have to look at that positively instead of the negative feelings of "i still feel funny today"

Karmerri · Post by **Karmerri** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:13 am

Boy Icanchange...I posted in here a few days ago...I really know that sudden panic when you get news like that. Oct. 6th, late at night my phone rang...my mother told my husband my father had a massive stroke! I am certainly not trying to be funny, I stood in the kitchen and my heart was pounding so hard and so fast that I ran out of the sliding doors and onto the patio and just kept trying to breathe in the air outside...

I kept saying to my husband, something's wrong, OMG, I can't stop my heart, my heart and all the while crying while the news sunk in. I really do know that feeling. Try your hardest to jump out of it. I mean, tell yourself over and over you are fine, it's anxiety, you'll be okay. But most important, we have to try (as hard as it is) to separate ourselves from the news that we're hearing. Say to yourself "That's a shame, I'm glad I'm fine...

That sounds mean when you read it, but saying it to yourself will help you to understand your'e okay, that happened to someone else. This doesn't mean it's going to happen to me. Easier said than done, I know, but try your hardest to stay well. Good Luck.