How Do You Deal with Disappointment, Frustration, Feeling Down, Minimal Expectations

Charlie Brown · Post by **Charlie Brown** » Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:57 am

Originally posted by THH:
YAY Charlie! Glad your feeling better. Its terrible when sick!
I seen the cnn news too.

We all have been working hard on learning new ways to cope better with stress. I to worry about health anxietys. I find it helpful to do positive self talk, lesson 3. We have to keep positive. We can control our thoughts you know? LOL...

Good for you on realizing you are going to change your attitude!

Keep your self busy as you wait to start your job. Stay in the present, no wondering whats!
Enjoy "no job" statis for now. ENJOY...

Thanks THH!!

can'tdanceandcan'trelax · Post by **can'tdanceandcan'trelax** » Thu Sep 16, 2010 7:53 pm

Hey Charlie Brown................I haven't been able to come to this site for a couple of weeks now, my little boy had a bad accident and he is in a wheelchair now until he can recover (broken femur). So, the first thing I did is check on you, I have still been keeping you in my prayers, and bless your heart : you have a JOB!!! Well, thank you Lord! I am so happy and excited for you - good luck with all the ridiculous paperwork and hang in there!

Charlie Brown · Post by **Charlie Brown** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 5:40 am

Originally posted by can'tdanceandcan'trelax:
Hey Charlie Brown................I haven't been able to come to this site for a couple of weeks now, my little boy had a bad accident and he is in a wheelchair now until he can recover (broken femur). So, the first thing I did is check on you, I have still been keeping you in my prayers, and bless your heart : you have a JOB!!! Well, thank you Lord! I am so happy and excited for you - good luck with all the ridiculous paperwork and hang in there!

OMG!!!! I am so, so sorry for your little guy!

Poor thing.

Thanks so much for praying for and thinking of me. It's very kind of you, especially currently with your son injured.

Both you and he are in my prayers for a speedy recovery.

Thanks again!

manofmusic · Post by **manofmusic** » Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:30 pm

Chuck ! Are you still maintaining ?????????

Charlie Brown · Post by **Charlie Brown** » Thu Sep 23, 2010 4:26 am

Yes, I am still maintaining a holding pattern.

Monday afternoon I called the HR contact at "my" company. It was exactly a week since the background company (BC) had my papers. I felt a week was sufficient time. The HR contact said he had just gotten an email from BC saying they were still waiting on some of my papers. In my mind, I yelled "Bulls***!" I had sent via email all the documents and info they wanted TWICE, one right after the other. (Note: You ever notice sometimes in your email Inbox you get a purchase receipt or some other message twice? That's because the sender wants to make sure you get it. I've been doing that with my job hunt activities.) I told him I sent everything twice. He said to send him the documents so he can work on it. I forwarded him the email I sent BC, and the original email from BC asking for the specific items.

I don't know how they do it in Canada, manofmusic, but between this incompetent background company, "my" company that continues to maintain them, the five dozen interviews you have to usually do to get a job--it is so ridiculous.

As far as my emotions, I am great. Even my attitude about BC is good. (They're idiots.) I still feel confident about getting the job (though I am holding back to the last minute getting my new suits altered because if I don't get the job, I don't want the tailor expense.) I finished in a week the first of two sales books I had ordered and am 2/3 finished with the other.

Thanks for asking.

Charlie Brown · Post by **Charlie Brown** » Sun Sep 26, 2010 11:07 am

Yesterday I got mail correspondence from the background company. It is not good. There was an inconsistency between my resume and what they had learned. This has greatly imperiled my job application. If I was a betting man, I would say I have a 90% chance of NOT getting the gig

I was stunned. I kept repeating, "I don't know what I am going to do" (both in terms of “my” company and another job search.) I also kept saying to my wife, "I am stunned." She felt very bad for me. I cried. As fast as I cried, I stopped and was back in shock. I had no feelings. What I mean is if you punched me, I would feel that. I still loved my wife. Those type of feelings were in contact. I just had no "other" feelings. I could also function, but emotionally, I was dead. I cried again, then back to being "comatose." I couldn't even get angry at it always being the hard way for me. I still can't feel that usual anger.

Between yesterday afternoon and this afternoon I watched TV, videos, and went to the park to read my book. This all helped a little, but I didn't start feeling alot better until an hour ago.

I still do not know how I am going to respond with “my” company. The "fog" I have been under for the past 24 hours is just now starting to lift. Who knows if I'll slip back to being down, non-emotional, and stunned. They get a copy of the report.

Charlie Brown · Post by **Charlie Brown** » Tue Sep 28, 2010 3:04 pm

Yesterday morning I awoke with strength, and felt I needed to respond to the inaccuracies and inconsistencies of the background report, which included supposed attempts by the background company to contact me. In my email to "my" company's HR contact, I included as attachments screen shots of my personal phone log of incoming calls and my Inbox.

By the evening, I was less stronger and emotionally drained (though no where near as over the weekend.)

The HR contact left me a quick voicemail on my cell today. "Hey this is so-and-so. When you have a chance please call me back." I called him back but got his voicemail. This was all in the afternoon. He didn't call back. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Like I said to my wife, judging by the way he sounded today in comparison to his prior VMs, the guy sounded quick and not as boisterous. Plus the other times when I missed his calls, he tried again a couple of hours later. My opinion? I am not going to get the job. I could be wrong (and I hope I am).

Most of my adult like, I am very good at planning my next move. If "A" happens, then I will responded with "B." I honestly would have probably done great in the Defense Department creating strategies and counter-moves. Since this weekend, my brain (and emotions) are so fried, I literally do not know or care to plan to know what I will do if this gig falls through. I know I will have to readjust my resume, and find out when my Unemployment Benefits end. But my brain, spirit, emotions, and body don't want to do any counter-actions yet.

Tomorrow, I am taking a break and going to see Wall Street's sequel.

manofmusic · Post by **manofmusic** » Wed Sep 29, 2010 12:34 pm

I don't know if I could deal with the way job interviews have been going with you ! The job I'm at now, I walked in, handed a resume to the owner, had the interview, shook the owner's hand and got a call the next day telling me I was hired and I could start on Monday. The interviews you've been on are just plain weird ! I don't even know what to say anymore. I guess that it never hurts to keep an undated resume with you at all times.

Who knows, Chuck, maybe by this time next week you'll be working there. Make sure you let me know what the HR guy that called you on the 28th wants. You're job interviews are like a soap opera !

THH · Post by **THH** » Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:57 pm

Charlie,
This is unreal!

You are doing very well with doing the hula for these peeps. Good for you!
Its not a job its a adventure! LOL...

Yes, do keep us up to date! Can't help wondering where this is all going?

AGAIN...Rots of Ruck!

Charlie Brown · Post by **Charlie Brown** » Thu Sep 30, 2010 3:55 am

Thanks for the support man, and THH.

THEY WANT A REFERENCE LETTER ON COMPANY LETTER! How f*****g ridiculously retarded is this

?! So let's say THH you were going to write a reference letter and you currently work at Microsoft, the letter would have to be on Microsoft letterhead!

This is like if I gave manofmusic a Christmas gift wrapped in a white bow, he refuses it because he wants a green bow.

They also want verification of my salary from two jobs ago. THEY HAVE THE COMPANY CONTACT INFO--WHY THE THE HELL DON'T THEY JUST CALL?

So now I have--to do the background company's work--and ask personal contact's to write the ref letter on their job's letterhead, and have to scrounge through my files look for W2 from 2003-2005?! This is on top of the BC's inability to contact my college--not to brag, but a very well known and old university in NYC (they couldn't call them?!) which resulted in me having to take my BA diploma off the wall and get it xeroxed at a nearby pharmacy. Then they lied on the background report about trying to contact me!

If I have to jump through anymore hoops, I am going to win first prize at the Westminister Dog Show.

The HR contact at "my" company agreed with my email and our phone conversation yesterday. He called me literally as I was just walking into the theater to see Wall Street 2,which BTW was pretty good. He apologized for what's been going on and himself said the BC was incompetent. This has been going on for a year, but because of “the boys in upper management”, they maintain this imbecilic background company. And because of this incompetency he has to do their work. Plus he's getting pressure from my would-be manager who wants me starting Friday.

I’ve already spoken to some contacts last night and they said they cannot use their company letterhead. They actually feared getting terminated if discovered because it would not be for job-related correspondence. Re: the 2003-2005 W2s, I don’t have them.

I am going to email the HR contact another letter from my friend who included his work #. I am going to tell the HR guy, no one can do it on letterhead. I will so include a complimentary email from 2005 I got from my supervisor. I will also tell him I don’t have an prior W2s and to remind him of that company’s contact info.

I know I need a job, but all this is Grade A Nonsense. In business sales, sometimes you have to know when to walk a way from a deal because of the absurdity and/or time wasted. I am getting prepared to do this. My wife cheered me on last night saying if I have to let it go, do it. My concern is because I think my Unemployment ends in Nov. This is need info I need.

My emotional strength has been taking hits. I’ve been taking little bits of Xanax for the past couple of day to calm the anxiety. Plus my stomach sometimes feel a LITTLE nauseous—not from a virus but from nerves. Sleep—I am bumming little chunks of Ambien from wife.

Thanks again for the support.