I'm 23 years old and have had bouts of depression since I was 10. I recently just had another anxiety relaspe. It usually happens every 4-5 years. I've been on medication for them for 5 years. My doctor thought I was becoming to dependant on them so we just decided to stop taking them all together. Now I'm back on them.
I've always been an emotionally tense and sad person. Always found comfort in being alone and isolating myself. Even as a child. My mother use to drink and I never thought it was a problem. She would be quite moody all the time and never seem to want me around, so everyday I found comfort in being in my room and watching tv which is now my daily ritual since being fired from my job. Didn't have many friends to hang with, even now. Then all of sudden I would start crying, getting chest and throat pains, thinking thoughts like hurting my mom or others that I love and care for. It has been the number one obsessive thought during my anxiety relaspes. But now I'm about to make a life altering decesion and I don't know what to do. I feel helpless and hopeless.
Fear of life and change
I have always had panic issues i didnt know what it was when i was a kid but later in life it all came together. 2002 was a bad year and i was stuck in bed for a couple months. I found this site and started talking to people on here and doing research and the anxiety went from a 10+ to a 1 or 2 i owe ALOT to this message board and the book sometimes i have relapses but not too often when i do i come back to this board and i always feel better. Quyn2thee hang in there this is a great place to be and the best for resources to help you feel better 

Re: Fear of life and change
thank you guys. I could certainly use all the friends and support i could get
Re: Fear of life and change
i am in the situation as you, except mine is divorce. I too wouldl lay in bed for days, my ten year old stayed with his sister most of the time. I have started meds, trying to stay busy. i hurt really bad now, cause the man in my life for 20 years has just shut me off. he is in another relationship. he tells me good things one day, then I am satan the next day. We both made our marriage hell together.