Self-Soothe

Angi · Post by **Angi** » Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:32 am

I would like to say I learned something about myself this past week. I worry and have anxiety over my boyfriend cheating, lying, etc. and have had those fears about any boyfriend since I was a teenager, I am now 38. Last week, I realized, just like an infant sometimes can cry himself back to sleep and learn to self-soothe, so can I. I don't need to rely on a boyfriend to give me the things I need. If the thought hamster wheel begins spinning, I can take steps to slow it down. Some of my steps are going for a jog in my neighborhood by myself, going for a drive (my favorite), taking a long bath, reading a good book out loud to myself, doing some yoga, or watching a funny movie. What a great feeling to know I can calm myself.

SeaRunner · Post by **SeaRunner** » Sun Jul 04, 2010 8:41 pm

So true, Angi. Nobody can calm or soothe ourselves better than we can. And the better we get at it, the better we can deal with stress and worry. As we are learning, our ultimate goal is to become self-reliant: be our own safe person, be our own safe place. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't have any needs or dependency on others but rather that we have the full ability to care for ourselves when we need to. Great post and great advice! Keep up the healing.

Jamie

Angi · Post by **Angi** » Mon Jul 05, 2010 7:56 am

Thanks SeaRunner, you are right, none of us are an island...we can all build bridges too, slat by slat...

TammyJ. · Post by **TammyJ.** » Mon Jul 05, 2010 3:03 pm

this is something that I have a major problem doing. I have not completed the program yet..guess i hit a wall. Anyway I tend to depend on a lot of people when i am having a panic attack. Kind of frustrating when you don't even trust yourself!:(

SeaRunner · Post by **SeaRunner** » Mon Jul 05, 2010 5:25 pm

Angi -

So true. By the way, I love your picture. Looks very calming.

Tammy -

For people with anxiety, this is something we have to either re-learn or even learn for the first time. As with most things, it takes a lot of practice. But the more you do it, the better you become. Maybe you need someone to be with you during a panic attack but I bet you can handle some anxiety on your own. The goal is to increase the amount of anxiety you can tolerate by yourself, eventually to the point where you can even carry yourself through panic. Keep working on it; you'll get there.