Family members making fun of my anxiety

xlostgirlx · Post by **xlostgirlx** » Sat Jun 26, 2010 9:16 am

My aunt was making fun of my anxiety i feel really depressed and angry so much right now. this is the last thing i need next to wisdom teeth hurting my mouth. Its not right for people to make fun of others problems. I feel hurt.

Is it true that a lot of your anxietys are caused by the way you grew up or how your family treated you or the background you grew up in? I was a spoiled brat that had stuff handed to me but then I had a lot of violence in my childhood watching my mother fight her husbands and then i grew up being an angry person. Now days i feel guilty for everything because my father would call me names and sometimes my family members bring up stuff from teh past that i did wrong when i was little and it really hurts like its making me feel guilty or horrible now at everything i do to this day i can't live a day without feeling guilty about something.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jun 26, 2010 2:15 pm

Hi-

Sounds like your aunt is pushing your buttons and trying to get a rise out of you.

And a great time to practice putting boundaries around yourself and maybe telling her to mind her own p's and q's.

Being guilty over stuff you did when you were little is really pointless. You can't change any of that and it isn't nice to be made the butt of jokes. Maybe you'll have to tell them that they are reciting history and you aren't interested in talking about it anymore. If they don't have something nice to say then they should just not say anything.

It's SUPER hard with family I think. I have had to separate from my grandma quite a bit as she is very negative when I am around her and I found that I just do not want to expose myself to that. I feel guilty about it sometimes. Like I am not honoring my elders, etc. but she is not kind and is hurtful and I don't want to expose my kids to that and confuse them about how to treat people you are supposed to love, so I choose to modify the situation. I'll call occasionally, but don't have ANY expectations when I do call, so that I don't feel hurt.

I used to wonder what I had done wrong to make people treat me like that and I have realized that I am approaching it very open minded and open hearted and the problem is very one-sided. I have asked to talk to me about it, but she refuses. I guess she made her decision about our relationship and so I have made mine.

Don't give up. You are making good progress and this is a bump in the road that you will overcome.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jun 26, 2010 2:40 pm

Hey~lostgirl~You might have to separate yourself from all the negative relatives for a while at least. I've had to do that with my brother. He is a very negative person. I get depressed every time I talk to him. So last week I wrote him an email and in so many words told him. I was gentle and kind. I did it by email because I did not want to hear what he had to say about it. I'm sure it would have been negative. So maybe you should do the same thing with some of your negative relatives until your are stronger and more confident. Get a little further along into the program. There is a assertive session coming and I think that will help you. Good luck. Try not to dwell on the past. Change your thoughts as soon as you start thinking about all those things that make you feel guilty.It's like newrunner said you can't change them. If you could I would have LOTS of things to change. Start from TODAY and stay away from those negative relatives for a while if you can.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jun 26, 2010 3:44 pm

People only make fun of stuff that they don't understand. We are all guilty of making fun of others at least once in our lives. I know i've made fun of others, and i've been made fun of a lot. It hurts, and that's why I try not to make fun of others. Just let her think what she wants. If she gets enjoyment out of your anxiety then her life must be really dull.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 27, 2010 6:35 pm

I will try to not let it bother me or stay away from negative people but i hope i can go around them one day and let nothing they say hurt me. I still have a way to go in the program.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jun 28, 2010 1:41 pm

xlost, our families don't know any better. They respond the best way that they know how. But Jesus is a friend who will stick closer than a brother and He will never leave nor forsaken you. Surrender your life to Him, Who loved you and gave Himself as a ransom for you.

Godsgirl(1blessedchick61@gmail.com).