The Program

[xlostgirlx]

Please forgive me if i write something down that upsets anyone first of all because i leave this forum thinking if i wrote too much or the same questions i've asked before in another forum. I don't really have much family to talk to about my problems because they either yell or don't understand. I do have a friend on this site i talk to who is nice and i like to hear people's oppinions on things who might have went through this.

I'm on Lesson 5 of the program. Which is eating and exercising. I'm off all caffine and sugar foods and i have been exercizing everyday. But there is something wrong going on.

At night i haven't been able to sleep for some reason. I use to went to bed around 12am then weeks later i went to bed around 4am. Now i can't sleep at all. I fall asleep for 2 hours then keep waking up and when i try to sleep in the day people keep waking me up or noises outside.

My anger and stress is so high right now i can't calm down. But i'm more mad about not being able to sleep more than anything. I tried to force myself to go to bed at 11:00pm last night. I just layed there thinking thinking i tried to put on rain sounds music i did Lucinda's relax cd 3 times i kept telling myself stop when i thought of something but the thoughts just kept going and going. I only got to sleep around 4 and 5 then woke up at 6 and had trouble sleeping up to 12pm slept for 1 hour phone rang and here i am now awake , dizzy , tired, restless and worried.

This is the 2nd night its done this i'm afraid it will keep doing it. I refuse to take pills because i have been able to sleep before i just don't know the cause of it. The only thing new is that i have been talking to a person at night who when i talk to my anxiety sort of races up being afraid of saying the wrong things or upsetting the preson because they have anxiety just like me and take things the wrong way or serious but i dont want to lose them as a freind from it so everything is really confusing. I keep reading back doing steps with negative thoughts in the program and im trying to make my mind rest but its been going crazy lately. I'm basically mad at everyone or think up some kind of negative thing about someone that might not even be true and just not talk to them about it and keep the hate feeling. I dont even know why i do that sometimes. Sometimes i dont want to be around or deal with people and want to be alone and blame my problems on people.

[h.beth]

hi lost. i have sleeping issues since menopause. i have tried sleeping pills that worked a short time and simply cannot take ambien as it causes sleep walking for me. anywho, i have done the alternative herbs from vitamin cottage etc and not helping. til you get better from program doing, doctor help if you wish for that, i would boundary my nites from upsetting people if possible or cut it way short. one day you may be able better to deal with that person... your intuition may be right about them, and if not because of still working thru stuff for awhile yet, sleep is important to heal. i would keep on asking/TRY VITAMIN COTTAGE HERBS VITS)...and til then i wish you well with that. i have found some thgs that have been helping me go to sleep finally, but nothing is perfect. check with your doctor,it can't hurt.

[xlostgirlx]

I am afraid i won't be able to sleep for another full night or day. My body will not sleep at all. My mind keeps thinking i cannot relax i feel dizzy and tired and irritated bad but i cannot seem to sleep.

[h.beth]

hi lost again...please try not to keep telling your brain negative predictions abt not sleeping. just try knowledgable sources for possible help and don't forget your doctor may be helpful.

[xlostgirlx]

I can't go to a doctor it will probably be until another week or more before i can go to the doctor.

Will someone's body with so much anxiety ever stop so their body can sleep? like will you ever sleep ? im afraid of never sleeping.