It may be my mood today but I have had this happen several times before and just kept it to myself but today was the last straw. When other members come into the chatroom I always say hi (unless I missed them coming in because I was away from my computer) to welcome them to the chat. Most of the regulars always say hi to me, which makes me really feel welcomed but there are others who don't say hi and completely ignore me, yet they will say hi to their friends when they come in. Don't people realize that hurts people's feelings and makes a person feel very unwanted and out of place. I just left the chatroom feeling very left out. I wasn't very familiar with the chatters except for one and was surprised that that person didn't say hi to me. I am not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me but I would like to address this to those who don't welcome people in, that that is rude. Maybe this doesn't bother some people but it sure bothers the heck out of me and makes me feel like I am not wanted there. Thanks for anyone who reads my vent and forgive me if I have stepped on anyone's toes. I just think the polite thing to do when someone enters the chatroom who may be having a lot of troubles and could use some support would be to say hi to them and make them feel welcomed.
God bless,
Susan
Chatroom Rudeness :(
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Guest
Hi Susan,
I'm not in chat often but when I am, I always say Hi to ones entering, even if I don't know them. Sometimes I am away from my computer and miss some, but I always try and see who came in after me when I get back to the screen. Sometimes even though people show as being in the room they are away, some for extended periods of time. I don't get Hi's every time I enter either, but it really doesn't bother me. I know that some people are shy and/or anxious as well and don't talk much, even to say Hi. I'm sorry for your experience. Try not to take it too seriously. Have a super day!
I'm not in chat often but when I am, I always say Hi to ones entering, even if I don't know them. Sometimes I am away from my computer and miss some, but I always try and see who came in after me when I get back to the screen. Sometimes even though people show as being in the room they are away, some for extended periods of time. I don't get Hi's every time I enter either, but it really doesn't bother me. I know that some people are shy and/or anxious as well and don't talk much, even to say Hi. I'm sorry for your experience. Try not to take it too seriously. Have a super day!
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Guest
hey susan,
just saw your post are you still here if need to talk I read another post seems like alot are going thru a rough time I have had more anxiety last sunday then I had in awhile I tryied to just let it be that is the hardest thing to do but it is the only way they adding fear to the fear or second fear I guess is the best word for it I have been having heart palpations and they bother me magnesium and fish oil help but my stomach has been bothering me so I hadn;'t been taking them in a while but I took them today I stayed with my grandbaby today and we had fun she is a doll enjoy her so much we are having storms here and they get on my nerves hope it quitens down soon I am trying to get some washing done need to clean house but to me that is a dirty word oh well hope you are feeling better tell your self it is only anxiety and it will get better
just saw your post are you still here if need to talk I read another post seems like alot are going thru a rough time I have had more anxiety last sunday then I had in awhile I tryied to just let it be that is the hardest thing to do but it is the only way they adding fear to the fear or second fear I guess is the best word for it I have been having heart palpations and they bother me magnesium and fish oil help but my stomach has been bothering me so I hadn;'t been taking them in a while but I took them today I stayed with my grandbaby today and we had fun she is a doll enjoy her so much we are having storms here and they get on my nerves hope it quitens down soon I am trying to get some washing done need to clean house but to me that is a dirty word oh well hope you are feeling better tell your self it is only anxiety and it will get better
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Guest
I appologize if I have done that to you. I miss people coming in once in a while. I do try to say hi to those that come into the chat room. Even periodically I miss saying good night or have a good day. I do the best I can to assure that I do.
I try not to let stuff like this get to me, I know the nature of this site. You are always wanted and welcome in chat. I hope you continue to come to chat.
I try not to let stuff like this get to me, I know the nature of this site. You are always wanted and welcome in chat. I hope you continue to come to chat.
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Guest
I was having a very bad day yesterday and just needed some company. No it wasn't you John, and there were several in the chatroom chatting to each other. I even went as far as to say "am I invisible?" because after I said hi to the ones chatting with no response back, another member came in and they were told hi to. This has happened several times before to me and I am sure to others. I don't think some people realize that it hurts feelings and makes one feel very out of place. It doesn't happen often, I just wanted to bring this to other members attention so that maybe the people who don't use common courtesy will start welcoming in members who come in so that every one of us do feel comfortable when we enter as well as welcomed. Thanks for your replies it means a lot to me. I want to assure everyone this wasn't just written for my benefit but for so many others that are not being welcomed in when they first enter the chatroom. 
God bless and hugs,
Susan
God bless and hugs,
Susan
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Guest
((((Susan))))
I totally know what you mean. That has happened to me NUMEROUS times and it is very rude. I do understand that people step away from their PCs from time to time, but I noticed people not speaking if I spoke, but if their "buddy" came in they would "suddenly appear!" I mean, I would have just said hi, and sometimes I even say hello and type people's name to personally speak, but I would get no response whatsoever, and then if someone they "wanted" to chat with came in they would burst out with the wonderful hellos! I have even asked someone something two or three times to get no response, but someone else can ask them questions and they would answer!
Weird, huh? I have mentioned that and some people have even said "oh, they didn't see you type that, or they didn't mean any harm, or I just think such and such didn't realize you asked them a question." LOL! I have found that people that are "buddies" - and there are lots of buddies in chat - will say that person meant no harm, and maybe that is true, but it continued to happen to me over and over again. I noticed some things just happened over and over again and that seems intensional to me. It takes no rocket scientist to figure that out. That is fine and dandy with me, but I still think that it is rude to ignore people. I try to speak when I come or at least to say hello to all, but others don't always do the same in return. I have noticed a big change in the chatroom since I came in over a year ago. When I first came in, there was much more respect, more chatting and interacting, but I have noticed a big change.
I have been told several times by people that have been in the chatroom for several years that they have formed lots of friendships and they chat with each other since they have a bond, and I do understand that as well, because I have made friends with lots of people here at StressCenter.com as well, but I still think there is a level of respect that should be given. I think if people want to chat one on one, or in a "certain group" they should do that elsewhere. Lots of people from the chatroom chat on other sites anyway, so I don't understand why come in the StressCenter.com chatroom to chat just "amongst themselves?"
I wanted to reply because I totally feel you on that, and have dealt with the same.
Sorry no one was there to chat with you. If I had been in there you know I would've!
Hope you are feeling better today Susan! Hope to chat with you soon.
I totally know what you mean. That has happened to me NUMEROUS times and it is very rude. I do understand that people step away from their PCs from time to time, but I noticed people not speaking if I spoke, but if their "buddy" came in they would "suddenly appear!" I mean, I would have just said hi, and sometimes I even say hello and type people's name to personally speak, but I would get no response whatsoever, and then if someone they "wanted" to chat with came in they would burst out with the wonderful hellos! I have even asked someone something two or three times to get no response, but someone else can ask them questions and they would answer!
Weird, huh? I have mentioned that and some people have even said "oh, they didn't see you type that, or they didn't mean any harm, or I just think such and such didn't realize you asked them a question." LOL! I have found that people that are "buddies" - and there are lots of buddies in chat - will say that person meant no harm, and maybe that is true, but it continued to happen to me over and over again. I noticed some things just happened over and over again and that seems intensional to me. It takes no rocket scientist to figure that out. That is fine and dandy with me, but I still think that it is rude to ignore people. I try to speak when I come or at least to say hello to all, but others don't always do the same in return. I have noticed a big change in the chatroom since I came in over a year ago. When I first came in, there was much more respect, more chatting and interacting, but I have noticed a big change.I have been told several times by people that have been in the chatroom for several years that they have formed lots of friendships and they chat with each other since they have a bond, and I do understand that as well, because I have made friends with lots of people here at StressCenter.com as well, but I still think there is a level of respect that should be given. I think if people want to chat one on one, or in a "certain group" they should do that elsewhere. Lots of people from the chatroom chat on other sites anyway, so I don't understand why come in the StressCenter.com chatroom to chat just "amongst themselves?"
I wanted to reply because I totally feel you on that, and have dealt with the same.
Sorry no one was there to chat with you. If I had been in there you know I would've!
Hope you are feeling better today Susan! Hope to chat with you soon.
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Guest
((((((((((Psalms)))))))))) You took the words right out of my mouth. You said it better than I did and said what I was trying to say. I have noticed the certain little clicks also and it saddens me that those people don't realize that they are leaving people out that come there for the support and help. I agree with you so much that if you are just there to meet one person to chat, why not go to the Help room or better yet meet on one of the messengers. I have went in numerous times hoping for a listening ear and found over 10 people in there. I thought to myself "oh good someone is here to talk to" and then after saying hi find out that no one is chatting. I can see stepping away from the computer, going to the bathroom, going to take meds, grabbing something to eat, answering the phone, or whatever else one might need to do, but when you are there and never join in to chat after being away for quite awhile, why are you even still there? Lurkers make me nervous. I also agree with you Psalms how those that are lurking, never saying a word, never acknowledging certain people, will pop up out of no where when someone comes into the group that evidently is more pleasing to them. I just don't think some people realize how hurtful that is. Oh well I probably shouldn't have opened this can of worms, I am only making myself more anxious about going back into the chatroom. God bless and hugs.
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Guest
Susan
I also have been let down in chat.I went in there yesterday and was having alot of anxiety about going to the dentist. I waited a bit and you said "HI" to me and then no one wanted to talk about my dental issues so I left. But I did say goodbye before I left. I think there's something to be said about expectations. Chat is just that chat. It's not professional counselors , they are just like you and me and can only help if they feel that they can relate. I do feel a little frutration that there is not a separate chat room for those who actually are using the program vs. a room for anyone to come into. There's alot of StressCenter.com bashing and that doesn't help anyone it seems. I don't even think there's a moderator? Anyway I made some good friends and I talk to them in email or facebook or pm on here.And pick the last hour to pop in when I do go to chat.And that's only if hubby is at work. I know more worms uh oh anyway that's my two cents.
Jill~
I also have been let down in chat.I went in there yesterday and was having alot of anxiety about going to the dentist. I waited a bit and you said "HI" to me and then no one wanted to talk about my dental issues so I left. But I did say goodbye before I left. I think there's something to be said about expectations. Chat is just that chat. It's not professional counselors , they are just like you and me and can only help if they feel that they can relate. I do feel a little frutration that there is not a separate chat room for those who actually are using the program vs. a room for anyone to come into. There's alot of StressCenter.com bashing and that doesn't help anyone it seems. I don't even think there's a moderator? Anyway I made some good friends and I talk to them in email or facebook or pm on here.And pick the last hour to pop in when I do go to chat.And that's only if hubby is at work. I know more worms uh oh anyway that's my two cents.
Jill~
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Guest
Susan,
I am just one that will 'keep it real' (as some say). I like honesty so I would rather not beat around the bush at all. I like to get straight to the point with things, so I did want to just speak the truth about the chatroom, and I thank you for even posting this here regarding that because there may be more people that feel the same and have just shyed away from chat to never return because of the same treatment.I have talked to several people that have gone into chat and have had the same thing happen, so again...it seems to happen to lots of people.
Well, I will go for now. It is storming here!
I am just one that will 'keep it real' (as some say). I like honesty so I would rather not beat around the bush at all. I like to get straight to the point with things, so I did want to just speak the truth about the chatroom, and I thank you for even posting this here regarding that because there may be more people that feel the same and have just shyed away from chat to never return because of the same treatment.I have talked to several people that have gone into chat and have had the same thing happen, so again...it seems to happen to lots of people.
Well, I will go for now. It is storming here!
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Guest
This is the best time to practice the skills in the program. Just because people do not say hi to us in chat doesn't mean they are ignoring us. There are numerous possiblities for this and with an expectation like that, anybody is going to get upset in that situation. This isn't the first time it has happened to you and chances are it won't be the last. Its your choice on how to respond. You've already realized this way makes you feel upset...what are your other options?
Mike
Mike