Suggestions Please for shyness and social phobia
Please anyone say there is hope and help for this. I am so tired of being painfully shy and insecure along with the depression and anxiety I also suffer from. I do not feel as I fit in since I moved here 3 years ago. I seriously have no friends and when I go to the school functions I no nobody. I get envious seeing others visiting and I feel like such a freak. No one even attempts talking to me and people I have somewhat spoken to other times don't even aknowledge me like I am invisable or make a terrible first impression. I don't know but it is hard on the self esteem. I feel embarresed being this painfully shy and when I talk my voice trembles and gets really hi and I second guess or analize every thing I had said. I am not giving up on the program and have started again with hopes for some recovery. Do I need a therapist or what to overcome the timidness. Any books that would help please suggest. I don't want my kids to have this passed on to them. I feel so alone and like such a introvert. My days pass by and I really don't feel like I accomplish much accept for overthinking and I take naps all the time. I am also suffering from horrible migraines and thinking of trying to go on a gluten free diet. I seem to be getting so many migraines and have back aches and a stiff neck. I feel like I am falling apart. I also think alot of how fast my kids are growing up and all I have missed being sick alot. I miss there baby stages and wish I would have had more children but should be happy and blessed with the four I do have right. I guess I am feeling old and no my child bearing days are done. I just needed to vent because this is all I have as I have said I am totally alone here accept my hubby and kids. I talk to family but never tell these feelings. Sorry so long and i hope there is help for this painful shyness it can wreck so much not having confidence. I am so tired of it.
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Guest
I could still have children but feel so unhealthy and probably to old to try again. I am blessed with 2 boys and 2 girls I guess i should be happy right.
Originally posted by ali04:
Please anyone say there is hope and help for this. I am so tired of being painfully shy and insecure along with the depression and anxiety I also suffer from. I do not feel as I fit in since I moved here 3 years ago. I seriously have no friends and when I go to the school functions I no nobody. I get envious seeing others visiting and I feel like such a freak. No one even attempts talking to me and people I have somewhat spoken to other times don't even aknowledge me like I am invisable or make a terrible first impression. I don't know but it is hard on the self esteem. I feel embarresed being this painfully shy and when I talk my voice trembles and gets really hi and I second guess or analize every thing I had said. I am not giving up on the program and have started again with hopes for some recovery. Do I need a therapist or what to overcome the timidness. Any books that would help please suggest. I don't want my kids to have this passed on to them. I feel so alone and like such a introvert. My days pass by and I really don't feel like I accomplish much accept for overthinking and I take naps all the time. I am also suffering from horrible migraines and thinking of trying to go on a gluten free diet. I seem to be getting so many migraines and have back aches and a stiff neck. I feel like I am falling apart. I also think alot of how fast my kids are growing up and all I have missed being sick alot. I miss there baby stages and wish I would have had more children but should be happy and blessed with the four I do have right. I guess I am feeling old and no my child bearing days are done. I just needed to vent because this is all I have as I have said I am totally alone here accept my hubby and kids. I talk to family but never tell these feelings. Sorry so long and i hope there is help for this painful shyness it can wreck so much not having confidence. I am so tired of it.
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Guest
Hey ali,
Well there are definitely many out there who can relate about social anxiety. Sometimes it feels like everybody is watching you so you are so cautious about everything, how you eat how you look, where your hands are, etc. I had confidence issues in high school when I developed terrible acne. I think I went a whole year not really looking in the mirror. So I can somewhat relate to the social anxieties. But I eventually grew out of it and my acne went away as well.
But the best way to get through shyness is speaking up, being assertive. Not everyone out there bites you know, there are great people out there that would enjoy your company. Not everyone out there is going to like you and that is ok. You won't like everyone out there either. I think Lesson 3 will help a lot. Positive self-talk is a great tool.
There is a book about it called , What to say when you talk to yourself- Shad Helmstetter. it is not about social anxiety, but it is about positive attitude and positive self-talk, which guides you through any situation including social ones.
But remember everyone has insecurities, you are not the only one. It is normal. But don't be so hard on yourself, as you must have a lot to offer
Well there are definitely many out there who can relate about social anxiety. Sometimes it feels like everybody is watching you so you are so cautious about everything, how you eat how you look, where your hands are, etc. I had confidence issues in high school when I developed terrible acne. I think I went a whole year not really looking in the mirror. So I can somewhat relate to the social anxieties. But I eventually grew out of it and my acne went away as well.
But the best way to get through shyness is speaking up, being assertive. Not everyone out there bites you know, there are great people out there that would enjoy your company. Not everyone out there is going to like you and that is ok. You won't like everyone out there either. I think Lesson 3 will help a lot. Positive self-talk is a great tool.
There is a book about it called , What to say when you talk to yourself- Shad Helmstetter. it is not about social anxiety, but it is about positive attitude and positive self-talk, which guides you through any situation including social ones.
But remember everyone has insecurities, you are not the only one. It is normal. But don't be so hard on yourself, as you must have a lot to offer
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Guest
Hello-
since you have 4 kids, can you go to a parenting group/play group and use your kids as a crutch in order to get involved with the group? If you feel like you want to leave, just say the child is hungry or crabby or whatever. Your focus can be on them and not on analyzing your words in a conversation. It also works if you go to a dog park or something with your dog. People pay attention to them and not you and you can ease in and out.
since you have 4 kids, can you go to a parenting group/play group and use your kids as a crutch in order to get involved with the group? If you feel like you want to leave, just say the child is hungry or crabby or whatever. Your focus can be on them and not on analyzing your words in a conversation. It also works if you go to a dog park or something with your dog. People pay attention to them and not you and you can ease in and out.
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Guest
This video trully helped me.. watch it.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdbSVSMwHPA or Maybe it can help someone else.