Hi everyone! I'm only in the second week of the program, but I'm having a hard time coming to terms with something. Is the program saying that anxiety is all our fault, that its totally our own creation? I understand that some of our behaviors and traits make us react in a certain way that exacerbates the anxiety, and they're trying to tell us that we have control over it and we can change, but are they really saying that? Is it all our fault? That really doesn't sit right with me. It seems like a really simplistic way of putting it. I mean, I know we have a HUGE part in causing our anxiety by how we react to things, and this program is supposed to help that, but I can't believe that it's SOLELY my fault. I believe on the first audio session, she says that it's biochemical, genetic, etc. But for some reason, now it seems like it's saying that it's all you doing it. Maybe I'm way off, maybe it's just me being stubborn and resistant and defensive, but that's how it sounds to me. And I don't know how to reconcile it. I mean, isn't there also something going on in my brain, in how I'm wired, something fundamentally and chemically wrong, to make me anxious and depressed? I've always thought so. Someone please tell me the program isn't dismissing other factors like that, that it's not saying that it's totally our fault. I've been going to psychiatrists for years, I've taken every medication out there for anxiety and depression...isn't this a real medical condition? Someone please help put my mind at ease about this, because I'm having a really hard time with this concept. I don't know what to believe.
Thanks for reading.
Lisa
Is It All Our Fault?
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Guest
Hey Lisa!
I have never used this message board but I read your post and I wanted to try and help. Your post is both inciteful and full of valid questions. I went through the program over a year ago and was too confused at that stage of the game to even question it like that. I just wanted help with my mental health asap! I believe that part of the reason your facing confusion right now is because the mental health field has always been and continues to be very subjective. There do not exist to my knowledge any scientifically based tests that can tell doctors the absolute certain causes of probelms like anxiety. So by default the program must mention the many possible reasons for these problems, which you listed, such as biochemical, genetics, personality type, so forth. However, the tools for either making the problems you are facing either worse or better are almost wholly within yourself. I think the program is saying its not so much yor fault for having anxiety but for not using yourself to help yourself! (Because we know anxiety comes from outside sources as well. It can't all be you) Of course this is my interpretation, but as I stated before this is a subjective field. Furthermore I encourage you to stay with the program schedule because there is more information later in it that I think will help with the concerns you are having.
On a last note, some thoughts on your final question about this being a real medical condition. I agree that it should be a medical condition but I think that this is a medical condition because somewhere in the past someone (probably psychiatrists) decided that this should be labeled as a medical condition. You probably know from experience that medical treatments (as in "medicine" drugs) do not have a strong track record for treating this so called medical condition. Just some thoughts of mine, anyway. So please, stay with the program and give it a chance to work and keep in touch with your doctor if you currently have one trying to help you so that you have all the options possible. I hope this helps.
I have never used this message board but I read your post and I wanted to try and help. Your post is both inciteful and full of valid questions. I went through the program over a year ago and was too confused at that stage of the game to even question it like that. I just wanted help with my mental health asap! I believe that part of the reason your facing confusion right now is because the mental health field has always been and continues to be very subjective. There do not exist to my knowledge any scientifically based tests that can tell doctors the absolute certain causes of probelms like anxiety. So by default the program must mention the many possible reasons for these problems, which you listed, such as biochemical, genetics, personality type, so forth. However, the tools for either making the problems you are facing either worse or better are almost wholly within yourself. I think the program is saying its not so much yor fault for having anxiety but for not using yourself to help yourself! (Because we know anxiety comes from outside sources as well. It can't all be you) Of course this is my interpretation, but as I stated before this is a subjective field. Furthermore I encourage you to stay with the program schedule because there is more information later in it that I think will help with the concerns you are having.
On a last note, some thoughts on your final question about this being a real medical condition. I agree that it should be a medical condition but I think that this is a medical condition because somewhere in the past someone (probably psychiatrists) decided that this should be labeled as a medical condition. You probably know from experience that medical treatments (as in "medicine" drugs) do not have a strong track record for treating this so called medical condition. Just some thoughts of mine, anyway. So please, stay with the program and give it a chance to work and keep in touch with your doctor if you currently have one trying to help you so that you have all the options possible. I hope this helps.
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Guest
Lisa -
My interpretation is that those of us that suffer from anxiety, depression, and panic disorders are predisposed to do so. Whether it's a biochemical reaction, genetics, outside factors, or some combination is up for debate. But we tend to have similar personality traits like obsessive thoughts, unrealistic expectations, and negative thinking. We're like an over-filled balloon that's just waiting to pop.
It's not our fault that we have these traits. They are part of us. But we have the power to change many of them, especially our way of thinking. When Lucinda says that our anxiety is our own creation, she doesn't mean that we caused ourselves to develop the seeds for anxiety or depressive disorders. Instead I think she means that it is our own negative thinking that keeps them going and feeds our fears. Now that we are aware of our disorder and we know that there are ways to change our thinking to respond in a much more positive and healthy way, it now becomes somewhat of a choice to continue suffering. We may not be able to "fix" everything perfectly, but we can make a tremendous difference in our quality of life and live rich fulfilling lives.
Lastly, I don't think "fault" is even the right word since it implies blame.
I hope this helps,
Jamie
My interpretation is that those of us that suffer from anxiety, depression, and panic disorders are predisposed to do so. Whether it's a biochemical reaction, genetics, outside factors, or some combination is up for debate. But we tend to have similar personality traits like obsessive thoughts, unrealistic expectations, and negative thinking. We're like an over-filled balloon that's just waiting to pop.
It's not our fault that we have these traits. They are part of us. But we have the power to change many of them, especially our way of thinking. When Lucinda says that our anxiety is our own creation, she doesn't mean that we caused ourselves to develop the seeds for anxiety or depressive disorders. Instead I think she means that it is our own negative thinking that keeps them going and feeds our fears. Now that we are aware of our disorder and we know that there are ways to change our thinking to respond in a much more positive and healthy way, it now becomes somewhat of a choice to continue suffering. We may not be able to "fix" everything perfectly, but we can make a tremendous difference in our quality of life and live rich fulfilling lives.
Lastly, I don't think "fault" is even the right word since it implies blame.
I hope this helps,
Jamie
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Guest
anthrogal: First of all, I'm so honored that my post made you want to write on here. Thank you! You're right, the mental health field is SO tricky and subjective. I've had years of psychiatric treatment, I've been on every medication out there for anxiety and depression (I'm still on meds now), and it's gotten me nowhere. So, this program is sort of my last resort. I can accept that I'm responsible for a lot of my anxiety because of how I react to things and the negative thinking and behaviors I've developed over the years. I don't believe that it's all my own creation - it's just too complex and there are so many factors (genetic, biochemical, things that have happened in my life). While I didn't cause it solely on my own, it makes total sense that how I handle it IS up to me and me alone. I have the ability to make it better or worse. I absolutely will keep seeing my doctor (I just starting seeing a new one, and she's AMAZING), and I'll definitely stick with the program. I want to stop analyzing so much and just let it work. I want to get better. Thank you!!
Jamie: I agree that people who suffer with these disorders are predisposed to do so. I think I was always going to have anxiety and depression, for a variety of reasons (things that happened in my life, various traumas, brain chemistry, genetics). I definitely have the personality traits described in the program (the obsessive thoughts, unrealistic expectations, perfectionism), so I know that a lot of factors brought me to where I am today. We didn't plant the seeds, but you're right, we do water them with our negative thinking and behaviors and keep the anxiety going and make it worse. I didn't get to this point all on my own, but I CAN control my anxiety from this point on. I won't let it control me anymore. I believe that I do have a choice to continue suffering or not, and I'm going to choose to stop suffering. I can't do it anymore. I want to live again. And you're right, "fault" is not the right word. It's too harsh. I guess I was playing devil's advocate a little. I was also worried that the program was blaming me for my anxiety. I don't want to blame myself for it. I'm always beating myself up for everything, and I don't want to do it over this. I don't think I'm to blame for my anxiety, but I know I'm responsible for some of it, and I'm responsible for what I do now. I can change. I can get better. And it IS my fault if I don't.
Thank you both so much for replying. You have both helped me tremendously. It's so wonderful to step out of my own head and get a fresh perspective. Thank you again!
Lisa
Jamie: I agree that people who suffer with these disorders are predisposed to do so. I think I was always going to have anxiety and depression, for a variety of reasons (things that happened in my life, various traumas, brain chemistry, genetics). I definitely have the personality traits described in the program (the obsessive thoughts, unrealistic expectations, perfectionism), so I know that a lot of factors brought me to where I am today. We didn't plant the seeds, but you're right, we do water them with our negative thinking and behaviors and keep the anxiety going and make it worse. I didn't get to this point all on my own, but I CAN control my anxiety from this point on. I won't let it control me anymore. I believe that I do have a choice to continue suffering or not, and I'm going to choose to stop suffering. I can't do it anymore. I want to live again. And you're right, "fault" is not the right word. It's too harsh. I guess I was playing devil's advocate a little. I was also worried that the program was blaming me for my anxiety. I don't want to blame myself for it. I'm always beating myself up for everything, and I don't want to do it over this. I don't think I'm to blame for my anxiety, but I know I'm responsible for some of it, and I'm responsible for what I do now. I can change. I can get better. And it IS my fault if I don't.
Thank you both so much for replying. You have both helped me tremendously. It's so wonderful to step out of my own head and get a fresh perspective. Thank you again!
Lisa