Baby steps

EastcoastGirl · Post by **EastcoastGirl** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:29 am

While I was reading some of the Triumph stories on here today it became apparent to me that I made a step in taking control of my anxiety w/out even noticing it.

A year ago I got laid off from work, I didn't mind because I was enjoying the time off to do home improvements etc. (I've had anxiety, agoraphobia to a degree etc since I was a kid) last summer I'd take my dog for a walk but only out of guilt because I felt bad for him not getting exercise and every time we'd go for a walk around my area I'd have anxiety the whole time. This past fall I fell down the stairs and hurt my back it took 6 weeks to heal during that time I started not caring about the home improvements anymore (partly I think due to SAD winter blues etc) then I got sick in January for 2.5 months with a virus, then my depression and anxiety came out like a lion (for years up until the past two months I was able to talk myself out of anxiety, the last two months I haven't been able to talk myself out of it at all).

I decided a little over a week ago to start taking my dog for a walk every day no matter how anxious it made me I would do it and eventually over come the anxiety of it. So I started out going around the small block (takes a little less then 10 minutes to do it). After two days of that I said go for it and I did the big block that takes about half an hour depending if we are just walking or if my dog is sniffing around. It has taken less then a week of doing this daily to overcome my fears of it. Irrational fears of something happening to me I pass out and my dog takes off or someone takes him. Today is a test day for me since it's raining and I really don't feel like going for a walk but I'm going to throw my rain coat on and just do it. We've been going for 2 to 3 walks a day the last 5 days but even if I only do one walk today in the rain I will be happy because I'm having to force myself to do it.

This may not seem big to some but for me it is considering I could easily become house bound in a heart beat if I had someone who would do the food shopping for me etc (food shopping is the next thing to attack, since I get anxious there and end up only buying half the food on the list because I can't wait to get out of the store). Thanks to all those who's stories I've read today on the Triumph board it was because of those stories I was able to see a little triumph in myself!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:55 am

Good for you! And it IS a big deal and the courage you're showing is awesome!
You have so much to look forward to !

I WAS housebound for quite a few years and the walking, driving, shopping - well most things actually - were only done with my hubby driving me there, and I'd shop in a hurry or he did it.

It's like looking forward to a glorious vacation.
Life full of new adventures taken on with amazing coping skills and topped with peace of mind and body!

Keep moving forward!
hugs and God bless!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 11:13 am

Congratulations! Be proud of yourself. It all goes away with baby steps. That is what I did 2 years ago when I started this program. I just told myself I was taking baby steps. I couldn't walk around outside by myself, go to a store, drive, work, or even take care of my son by myself. I was totally non-funtional. Now, I do it all, I'm driving, shopping (and enjoying it), working, taking care of my son and my husband even travels out of town for work now and I'm just fine on my own. I remember when I first started driving, I'd just go sit in the car by myself, and panic. Then I would drive around the block, then a few more blocks, etc. That is how bad I was. But with determination and courage with small steps I have gotten my life back and you will too! Keep taking those baby steps.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 12:37 pm

Thanks so much for the replies... I'm so happy to see baby steps worked for you now I know that they will keep working for me too!