Love trumps Anxiety (relationship-phobia)

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bob p
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Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 11:52 pm

Post by bob p » Mon Dec 13, 2010 11:12 am

Originally posted by Lena Hourglass:
Of the things I have avoided due to anxiety, the most depressing thing was romance... I seldom went on dates, and certainly never initiated (proposed) those dates that I did go on. If I accepted a invitation, I anticipated and experienced pre- and post-date panic attacks (primarily nausia).
lena that sure is an inspirational story.keep on going. you are in for a wonderful life.
What if I have a panic attack in front of my date? (He'll think I'm crazy or pathetic!)

What if I throw up?! (And sometimes I did prior to or following a date) But what if I threw up during the date and embarrassed myself?

So long as I was willing to face my fears due to this program, I knew that eventually I would come face-to-face with a prospective boyfriend while dating. Then would come the moment of truth: telling him about my anxiety.

Well, it happened. I went on a double-date, where I played a game of truth or dare. My date drew the dare card to "Kiss" someone. Of course, that person would be me and my heart would fly off the deep end. After kissing, the next dare sent me racing to the bathroom where I threw up. My date and my friend's date asked me if I was okay (how embarrassing: "they must know I threw up!"). I told my date that I would tell him later about what happened and I did. I spilled my guts while he drove me home (telling him about anxiety - panic - medication, et al). He held my hand and stroked my leg. Then, when I thought all was said and done, and I was sure that when I said "goodbye" it would be forever, he remarked, apart from saying that my condition was interesting and empathizing, that: "It doesn't change the way I feel about you."

Things could not have turned out better. Occationally, I still have anxiety while spending time with my boyfriend (yes, boyfriend!), but I don't have to run from it, hide it, or fear it. The anxiety has been disapating and my confidence soaring. Almost everyday I am conquering a fear, without experiencing much fear, and in constant awareness of the rewards I am reaping with my experiences in this relationship. It is worth it. The anxiety is worth facing just to have the experiences with my boyfriend that I am having... that I never thought possible.

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Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 5:23 pm

Post by HearsU » Tue Dec 14, 2010 8:35 am

HI Lena Hourglass,
Thanks for posting this
it really gives hope to so many people.
You are wonderful for sharing that story.

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Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2012 8:05 pm

Re: Love trumps Anxiety (relationship-phobia)

Post by hellokta » Mon Sep 03, 2012 12:33 pm

This post actually gives me a lot of hope. Today I was extremely anxious because the person that I used to date is in town and since we were together I have not being in another relationship because of fear. Fear that it would turn out the same way, fear of rejection (specially with the condition) and fear of being myself. Everytime that I feel that he is near I freeze, and start living the same things again (He was extremely mean to me) the same anxiety, the same broken thoughts, it's so weird. Like I wanted him so bad and became so vulnerable that I got to hate him to the extreme as well because of his manipulation and egocentricity for years. I wish I could talk better about him, there were some vaguely moments where we were happy, but there were more unhappy moments unfortunately. God bless him wherever he is at, but I just hope we never see each other again, ever and that I find true men and that I heal completely and forgive completely even if I feel he doesn't deserve it, for my own sake. I shouldn't be blaming my relationship anxiety to him, cause I know it's my problem to solve, I have realized that we a person truly loves you, anxiety looks tiny in their eyes. I want to surround myself with those people. :) Hugs to all.

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