Gettign Through a Fear I've had for YEARS!

[Ld26angell]

HI all,
I wanted to post this on here and let people know how far I've come.
I went through the program 2 times beofe. I am doing it a third time although right now I've had to take a bit of a break due to a family death.
I just lost my Grandpa on Sunday and today was the funeral. It was terribly hard and something I thought I could never ever do..
But.......
It was the most beautiful ceremony at the church and even at the funeral home yesterday.
Having to deal with this has been an ultimate test to myself. Not only do I have to deal with this, but also we had a bit of a family feud the other day. Not my immediate family but my brother-in- law. He started to scream at me for something I didn't do. Long story short, it was extremely hard to face him at the funeral, not that I was scared, I just hate CONFRONTATION. But I wrote down what I would say if he was to ssay something to me so that I could be assertive. He never did. He acted as if nothing had happened. He even was running my back to comfort me when I was losing it at the service reading.
All of this was a huge test for me. I know that God doesn't give you what you can't handle and I truely believe that.
I also KNOW that my Grandfather gave me part of the strength he had to get through this difficult time. I am taking that strength and using it for ME.
I am a smart, wonderful loving, human being and I know this. I love my family and they are so important to me! ( It like to think my Grandpa set the example for this)
Also- I did have scary thoughts at moments (which were at one time my biggest symptoms) but I know that it was again just my old bad habit of anxiety and was serving as a form of distraction for me. (as it always almost is)

I really just wanted to share this and let everyone know that there will be times that you will be tested and whether you think you can handle it or not, you CAN!
This program gave me wonderful skills and I am perfecting them along the way with situations like this.

Bless you all on your journey!
Lisa

[Guest]

Ld26angell May I offer my condolensce on the loss of your grandfather. It must have been a difficult day for you. I'm sure your grandfather is very proud of you. You should be proud of yourself handling yourself so compassionately. Take care and God Bless.