life is good - and it's a long post!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:07 pm

I believe Karma will be posting real soon now.
I pray she is okay.
MJ

jillzmind · Post by **jillzmind** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 3:05 am

Scooby Doooo where are you?
Missing you Karma, I hope you have a good day!
xo
J~

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:02 am

Karma:

Hope things were better today.

Thinking of you!

Wishing you well!!

MJ

manofmusic · Post by **manofmusic** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:18 am

Karma !

OK It's now the weekend. Was work as bad as it seemed ?

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:39 am

i don't even know how to explain the way i feel. this i do know, i'm sickened by the way people behave at work. i honestly know i could never treat someone the way i've been treated. i have a conscience. but hey, that's just me.

i am periodically thrown a bone - then kicked. the humane society would have a ball with these people if i were a dog. i suppose this behavior is supposed to make me cower and cringe and destroy my self esteem. it has had the reverse effect. if nothing else, it gives me great pleasure to smile, stand taller, and act like it's perfectly normal behavior on their part - which i guess it is?

i have absolutely no idea what i've done to incur such treatment because i have NOT done anything to deserve it. period.

will this break me? nope. all i can do is be who i am - something which evidently kills people. i will say again, i am polite, kind, smiling, well liked, do an excellent job, have a good work ethic, and actually bother myself to show up. i am well groomed and well dressed. i speak and write in grammatically complete sentences. i interact with everyone i deal with in a friendly and professional manner. i am never rude or in someone's face - ever. i'm not perfect - yet i'm certainly not the village idiot. bottom line - i present myself very well at work - much better than many. maybe therein lies the rub. who knows?

the only thing i have any control over is myself. this is something that was brought home to me yet again - for the millionth time this week.

my reaction to wednesday was to rant and rave like a maniac until about midnight. that's when i calmed down - got all the rage out.

and i got it. i can only change my reaction. i will never change how anyone in my work place behaves. but i can change my inner reaction. this is something i forget to remember - over and over. and truth to tell, it's exhausting to react to anything there - where it's being thrown a bone or kicked.

my, that is the ultimate epiphany! the exhaustion of reacting to anything there. i suppose the reason for that is everything is smoke and mirrors. so much makes no sense. when you think you've figured out the plot, you realize there is no plot.

do know this. i'm not battered and i'm not broken. will i have a good weekend? yes. will i go in monday with a smile and friendly word for everyone? you bet your boots.

bottom line? i'm not like them and that makes me very, very happy.

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:42 am

thank you, cornflower. i'm fine - just as right a rain. all in all it was a good week. i just have some "remembering" and "retraining" of myself to work on!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:03 pm

Thank goodness you are okay, Karma.
It has been a long time since I was in the work force. But I know how it can be. It is the same all over, you know.

I'll share a little incident with you that happened when I was working. I went to work in another state. This place had lots of women working in it. A lot of computer work. And just plain ole clerical work, etc. I worked a while and got a little promotion. There were 2 other women working in the dejpartment that I was going into. One of them read her horoscope.
It told her that a new person was coming in that would threaten her job.
I don't have to tell you what happened to me in there. LOL. I wasn't there to take anyone's job. It oook 3 people to do what that department needed done. That was a bad time because I needed that job. LOL

Karma, this, too, shall pass. These kind of things happen. You are strong. You ARE doing fine. I'm proud of you.

MJ

jillzmind · Post by **jillzmind** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:38 pm

Karma
I am so glad you posted. I was worried about
you. You had a moment..that's okay. We all do. I am glad you refocused and you know whats what. You rock never forget it!

J~

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:38 pm

thank you, cornflower, for both your concern and kind words. people do get threatened by others - even when there is no threat to them.

i'm not a threat to anyone and never have been. i guess that's something people will never understand.

yes, i am strong. i'm glad you know that!

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:42 pm

i am SO sorry. none of these notifications came to my last night! in fact, they just came a few hours ago. you know i would have responded even though i was still a tad upset!!!!! i can't ignore my friends - that would be in such poor taste LOL