This is my first post to these forums, my name is Brian I'm 42 years old and recently - about 2.5 months back I came to the realization that something was wrong with my life what I could not exactly pinpoint but I knew I had to do something about it. I always thought I had depression and have been on Paxil for the past 13 years. The Paxil helps but every winter I go into what I would call a funk during this time I would be perpetually anxious and generally miserable and angry. Back in January I set out to figure out what was wrong with me and luckily came upon this site. I purchased 'the program' and currently I am on Session 11. This program has been a godsend for me every day I learn a little more about myself and the things that make me feel bad, ugly, and anxious and try very hard to make the changes and they have been helping a great deal. For me there is no turning back I LOVE the relaxed feeling that I get when I workout and do the relaxation tape it is truly priceless. Anyway today while working out listening to Metallica Master of Puppets was playing and as I listened I changed the lyrics to be reflective my view of this whole anxiety experience and how I now feel. I replayed the song a few times and sang my version of the lyrics and it made me feel awesome my thoughts were crystal clear afterward so I thought I'd share my version of the song for the heavy metal fans in the group. There is hope, there is happiness, I wish everyone success!
End of passion play, crumbling away
Anxiety was my source of self-destruction
My mind that pumps with irrational fear, sucking darkest clear
Leading on my minds deaths construction
Taste it I did see
Negative self talk is all I heeded
I was unconsciously dedicated to
How it was draining me
Come crawling faster
I Obeyed my anxiety master
My life burned faster
I had no tools and obeyed my anxiety master
Master
Master of puppets were pulling my strings
Twisting my mind and smashing my dreams
Blinded by it, I couldn’t see a thing
Just call its name, `cause it will enjoy you scream
Master
Master
Just call its name, `cause It’ll enjoy you scream
Master
Master
Needlework the way, never did I betray
Until I heard the way
I could slay my anxiety master
By restructuring my minds eye
Master, master, where’s the dreams that I’ve been after?
Master, master, I figured out you only filled my head with lies
Laughter, laughter, now all I hear and see is happy laughter
Laughter, laughter, laughing at your demise
Anxiety hell is not worth all that, its not a natural habitat
It’s just a rhyme without a reason
Never ending maze, drift on numbered days
Now my life is in season
Brian
Changed the lyrics
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