Facing Fears

[HebbReese]

So I am at the point in the program where I am almost ready to start facing my fears. I am very agoraphobic, and have a hard time even leaving my house, but I am feeling confident enough to start taking on some of these irrational ideas of mine. So how exactly do I start doing that? Some of my fears are so outrageous I would really have to tweak some circumstances, and then I realized how funny it would be to try and face my fears exactly as I fear them. For example:

I am afraid of having food delievered to my house in fear that the delievery driver could be a murderer, so I guess I could call in an order and say "yes, extra pepperoni, and could you send a scary man, preferably very scruffy, with tons of tattoos, and if it's not too much trouble can you ask him to bring a bloody axe to my door with my pizza?" (no offense to anyone with tattoos, I have some myself)

Or I am constantly afraid of having a heart attack in a public place, not because I could die from the heart attack, but because that would be so embarassing (so irrational)! So should I go into Wal-Mart on a Saturday afternoon, when it's bound to be packed full of people, and then pretend to have a heart attack in front of everyone? And then when I've officially drawn a big enough crowd, stand up and take a bow, because I am also afraid of performing.

Or have NASA come and install one of those space simulators in my house, that way just in case something happens and gravity is no longer an issue on Earth I will be prepared, and will not be sucked out into space.

Or next time I go to a restaurant, hold my breath until I pass out right in the middle of dinner, so I know just how long I have to seek help if I ever start choking.

Or I could create perfumes with such aromas as gasoline, permanent marker, or bleech, and wear them constantly so I am no longer afraid that strong smells will suffocate me. :p

Or I could go to a farm and bite a chicken or turkey to get over my fear of being poisoned by eating raw poultry. It doesn't get any more raw than biting one that's still alive.

Or I could invite all of my friends, and enemies over for a bash Heather session. If they're saying it to my face at least I don't have to worry about them saying it behind my back.

Or I could enlist one of my friends to kick through my front door in the middle of the night, and start pretending to steal things. Well maybe this one isn't such a great idea...I do own a gun, and I can't be sure that when awaken startled like that I won't shoot before I ask questions.

I suppose I spend this year's vacation at an insane assylum. I could even have them put me in one of those oh-so flattering straight jackets, and then throw myself repeatedly at the rubber walls for entertainment. It won't seem so scary to be deemed insane once I get that Thorazine drip. I may even decide make it a yearly visit.

Just some thoughts. I think humor is your best friend when dealing with anxiety and depression. And I don't think it gets any funnier than poking fun at yourself!

[jillzmind]

That is some funny stuff girl. LOL I love it!
Now you got my brain thinking of trying to come up with some stuff

[Christian73]

These are great. Thanks for sharing.

[HebbReese]

Thanks for the support everyone! It feels good to be able to laugh at these fears instead of allowing them to terrify me. It's true, laughter really is the best medicine!

[dana_shae]

This is so funny! But I have to be honest. I found some comfort in one line specifically. The line about NASA installing the gravity thing in case you get sucked up. I truly thought that this was an "only I have that thought" thing. I can't tell you how many times I've made myself sick thinking of that! I don't now, bc of the program, but I TRULY thought it was just me. Thanks for putting this out here and know u made someone else feel alot better about themselves.

[HebbReese]

Hi Dana. I know that the loss of gravity fear seems so outrageous, but it was truly one of my worst fears. I had a hard time being anywhere where the ceiling is really high (including school gyms) and I can't lay outside and look at the stars, I don't like trampolines or anything that might "comprimse my gravitational pull". It's really weird. I thought I was the only person in the world with this fear too! I'm happy and sad about you having the same issue. I'm happy because I feel like I'm not alone in this one anymore, but sad because I know how dibilitating it can be. I am so sorry that you had that fear too, and I'm glad you don't anymore. Thank you for your comments! Wishing you the best!

[michelle37]

hebbreese,
soooo funny! I also am struggling with the fear of having a heart attack in a store. So much so that whenever I went to the store one of my teenage kids had to go too. I recently am able to go into the store by myself because just realizing that its unrealistic is what helped me. I do still get a bit nervous about it from time to time. I also often wondered if I might end up in the looney bin. It helps so much to know other people have the same issues. It helps to confirm that Im really not crazy. thanks for sharing and I hope you will have good luck facing and destroying these fears!

[dana_shae]

I am the same way about looking up at the sky. For me, it's not just the gravity issue, but feeling so overwhelmingly small in comparison to the vast sky and stars. I even have a hard time looking at the clouds sometimes. I think they're beautiful at times, but if I look too long, I start realizing how large they are, and I start to feel tiny and insignificant. Gyms, large ceilings, yep, that's me too. Concerts and events are hard if I look up. Well, large buildings in general. Being in a large building, like a hotel makes me feel weird too, because the ceilings are usually low and I think about the stories of steel and concrete resting above me. Parking garages for the same reason. Geez. I have alot of fears when I sit and think it out like this. Basically, anything bigger than me are overwhelming. lol. I laugh, but it's not funny at the time. lol. Thanks for sharing. It makes me feel better too.

[HebbReese]

Michelle, having a heart attack in the store is a big one for me. I call it my "Everest" because it makes me think of climbing that huge mountain. That one will probably be my last one I tackle. Once I can go to a store successfully by myself, I will consider myself cured! It's so good to know that I'm not alone!

Dana, parking garages are a nightmare for me! I can just see it collapsing and all of those cars piling on top of mine. What a mess that would be! I feel the same way about being so tiny in such a huge universe too. It can be very overwhelming sometimes. It always brings up the "Why am I even here?" type questions. I have a hard time just being. I think part of my problem is that I am always searching for answers to questions that just can't be answered. Like why was I born me instead of that person? If I can not survive without a brain than is my soul located there? Is everything I do pre-determined or do I have the freedom to choose? I guess these are more spiritual type questions, but I feel like there is no right or wrong answer to them, and that drives me crazy! Sometimes I wish my mind had an on/off switch. Or at least a mute button! But it's those type of questions that I ponder when I look at the sky because I feel so unimportant in such a huge space. Weird huh?

[latestnws22]

Thanks for sharing these things with us