DENICE'S PROGRAM FOR CAUSING ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 12:09 pm

whenever you hear someone complain about something no matter what it is say in a little kid voice "I did it" they will for sure think you are cute and all will be better.

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 12:31 pm

<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">Hi Derfy, welcome to the proram and the team! Feel free to add your submissiong. And I actually have ordered fries with no salt on them so they would have to make a new batch then added salt at home. The fries are always hot and fresh. Hey my father in law is a chef and he taught me that secret...lol don't take advantage.

Apply for a new job with an entry level position and once you get hired on your 1st day when they sit you at your cubicle desk stand up and say no no no I applying for VP why am I not in the office window...what's going on guys? Ok ok I get it, it's a joke ok cameras you can come out now!!!! LOLOLOL </span>

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 12:43 pm

now i want fries

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 5:08 pm

mike, that's alarmingly :p funny

seriously though--this is professional level

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 12:11 am

ha thanx. what do you mean professional level?

Mike

Gman5256 · Post by **Gman5256** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:45 am

SEVERAL USEFUL AFFIRMATIONS FOR A MORNING!

1. I`m depressed so much, that I need to track ocean`s floods to keep alive.

2. I suck so much that I curve trajectories of light ( like a black hole ), so there is always a little dark around me.

3. I obsess about what people are thinking about me to the extent, that everytime when I get out the subway, I can speak two additional foreign languages (asian included).

4. My life is going nowhere so much,
that I`m going to discover Atlantis pretty soon.

5. I fear failures so much, that I`m scared to kill a spider in case it will go back with his gang to get revenge.

6. I`m so perfectionistic that if I were the God I would dwell on the color of the sky to this day.

7. I procrastinate so much that docks will need to finish me with a pillow when I will be staying in hospital in age 184.

8. I fear of any commitment so much that I will soon breathe as a freelancer.

Excuse me my English, I`m not a native English speaker.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:03 pm

Mike,

seriously though--this is professional level

ha thanx. what do you mean professional level?

i just meant that their quality rivals those who make a living writing comedy. it's like the stuff gets better and better.

but don't abandon the shiatsu! alright i don't feel like serious anymore.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:07 pm

i don't think i'd be doin stand-up anytime soon, maybe some really bad kareoki instead.

Mike

Admin_1 · Post by **Admin_1** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:12 pm

lol.

i'd love to see that!
<span class="ev_code_GREY">(the avatar's growin' on me.)</span>

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 10:43 am

hey i didn't do standup but we just did some filming for a presentation i do on thursday. If anybody is intrested in seeing me or my film i think i may put it on youtube.

Mike