scary thoughts get your attention

[Drksydeone]

I hate the scary thoughts that come with my anxiety and depression. Its whats keeping me stuck. Sometimes so powerful I feel like screaming. My head feels like a top spinning, I cant focus on anything, I feel like im gonna jump out of my skin. Bad night last night no sleep. Taking a business trip today and dreading it. I wonder if thats what I was distracting myself from, but if so why not obsess about that. My scary thought ruminate fast and furious, sometimes they stick, sometimes they switch gears, its awful..Hurting myself, hurting others, you name it. Ive come through this before so I feel confident that I will pass through this, but its an indescribable feeling. I try distracting myself or saying only thoughts but they are powerful. Please just go away..I think my scary thoughts would make stephen king shutter.

[coach21]

Hey Drksydeone,

Couldn't help but respond to your post in that the scary thoughts of which you descrbied were one of my symptoms of anxiety. In response to "Sometimes so powerful......." . Sometimes we'll go through the program apply the necessary techiniques and begin to perceive theses thoughts for what these thoughts really are; an insignificant symptom of anxiety; ultimately densitizing these thoughts. We think in terms of elimination and quit doing what we did to re-establish our confidence. We go through stressful season when we are not taking care of ourselves and our unamanged stress develops into anxiety. Very analogous to a bubble bursting. We overcompensate in areas and the bubble burst's at it thinnest point, resulting in anxiety. Anxiety for us is reacting in old ways by chasing these thoughts down in a counterproductive analytical "what if?" manner establishing and reinforcing irrational conclusions. We try to suppress these thoughts and begin to fear the thoughts which just results in varitaions of the thoughts themselves. We then manufacture and entity by referring to the thoughts as "it" or "they" ie "sometimes they stick.....sometimes they change gears......they are so powerful". In essence we create something that is not reality. Reality is you just re-established an old habit due to unmanaged stress and you are fully capable of re-establishing your confidence. This is merely a growth spurt which will result in an increased knowledge that you will apply and learn from. I've been through a similair growth spurt; feel free to e-mail anytime for support. Your a success happening ...God Bless.

[NeverQuit]

I know what you mean Drksydeone, and thank you Coach21 for posting that reminder! This is still the part of the program that I struggle the most with...this and negative/positive dialoguing. But I am determined to continue working hard!