help change my thought to humouros
just wondering if u got any ideas on changing my thought to a humourouds one...my fear is embarassment and not being able to get out..my main fears are going into cars with people i don;t know..b/c im scared im going to get sick..or because if someone else is driving i won't be able to get out...im scared of what they'll think...
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Guest
AJ, I know it's easy to say, "Who CARES what others think," there is a book titled: WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS. 
It's easy but VERY difficult to believe...but the way to belief is Repetition. So, one thing you can do is repeat, "Who Cares," every chance you get.
The next thing that would be helpful is to change the ending of the "story" you are telling yourself... For example, "What if I get sick in PJ's car?!" Response: "I have No reason to think I will do that...what if I suddenly start blowing bubbles in PJ's car? I have no history of doing either, therefore, I will focus on calming my abdomen...I am breathing calmly, 2-4, I am in charge of what I think...I choose positive, encouraging thoughts."
I believe in you, Carolyn
It's easy but VERY difficult to believe...but the way to belief is Repetition. So, one thing you can do is repeat, "Who Cares," every chance you get.The next thing that would be helpful is to change the ending of the "story" you are telling yourself... For example, "What if I get sick in PJ's car?!" Response: "I have No reason to think I will do that...what if I suddenly start blowing bubbles in PJ's car? I have no history of doing either, therefore, I will focus on calming my abdomen...I am breathing calmly, 2-4, I am in charge of what I think...I choose positive, encouraging thoughts."
I believe in you, Carolyn
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Guest
Another approach, AJ, is to say, "Yes, it is possible that I may get sick in the car and that my friends will see this happen, HOWEVER, it is highly unlikely that this will occur. I think I'll go in the car and feel my discomfort (using your tools) and see what happens. I will not abandon myself. I am learning to be free from this fear and support myself 100%."
Ask your friend or friends (or perhaps a family member) who understands what you are doing, if you could be in the car for just 5 minutes the first time. Then 7 min. the next time. then 8, then 9 and work yourself up to 10 and continue with small increments until you feel comfortable going for a half hour and then eventually a full hour. Take your time.
It's another approach. Be willing to feel your discomfort while you are desensitizing to your fear.
You can also write a worst case scenerio, AJ. Write a really horrible experience about your fear. Then read it everyday for a good 20 - 45 minutes a day -you will begin to get bored with your own story. This technique often makes a huge difference. Then when you get bored, you can ask your friends to take you out for 5 minutes, etc, as I described above. You'll need to breathe into those feelings of "What will they think of me?" Don't push the thoughts or the feelings away. Breathe into them - slowly. Make those feelings OK to be there. In time this will not be a concern for you with continued exposure.
The whole time you are exposing say kind and loving things to yourself. "Wow, I am one brave guy." "I am doing great." "I'm feeling this discomfort and I'm handling it really well." "I am so proud of myself." "Great job, AJ." I'm sure you can come up with more wonderful things to say to yourself.
Never, ever judge yourself with your progress. No matter how tiny it may be. Pat yourself on the back and reward yourself with a small gift each step of the way.
There are others who have gone before you. YOU CAN DO IT!
Ask your friend or friends (or perhaps a family member) who understands what you are doing, if you could be in the car for just 5 minutes the first time. Then 7 min. the next time. then 8, then 9 and work yourself up to 10 and continue with small increments until you feel comfortable going for a half hour and then eventually a full hour. Take your time.
It's another approach. Be willing to feel your discomfort while you are desensitizing to your fear.
You can also write a worst case scenerio, AJ. Write a really horrible experience about your fear. Then read it everyday for a good 20 - 45 minutes a day -you will begin to get bored with your own story. This technique often makes a huge difference. Then when you get bored, you can ask your friends to take you out for 5 minutes, etc, as I described above. You'll need to breathe into those feelings of "What will they think of me?" Don't push the thoughts or the feelings away. Breathe into them - slowly. Make those feelings OK to be there. In time this will not be a concern for you with continued exposure.
The whole time you are exposing say kind and loving things to yourself. "Wow, I am one brave guy." "I am doing great." "I'm feeling this discomfort and I'm handling it really well." "I am so proud of myself." "Great job, AJ." I'm sure you can come up with more wonderful things to say to yourself.
Never, ever judge yourself with your progress. No matter how tiny it may be. Pat yourself on the back and reward yourself with a small gift each step of the way.
There are others who have gone before you. YOU CAN DO IT!