Hi everyone! I am new to this board. I have had anxiety problems all of my life, but my anxiety got very bad last summer. I was obsessed that something was physically wrong with me and that I was going crazy. I started seeing a therapist regularly, and also went on Lexapro. I have had some setbacks, but for the most part I've been doing great and getting better.
When I was going through my worst times last summer before I got help, I would sometimes have very scary and awful thoughts. I worried what if I go out of control and do something crazy, like hurt a friend or family member? I would see awful stories on the news about people killing someone and would think "what if I do that? what is stopping me from doing that?"
I know that these thoughts are irrational, I love my family and friends and hurting them is the last thing I would ever want to do. However, even though I know they are silly thoughts, they still scare me and upset me alot. Luckily these thoughts largely went away this past year but now they've come back and I hate that I'm having them. Whenever one pops into my head I panic and feel terrified and upset.
Does anyone have any advice as to how they deal with these scary and unwanted thoughts? They do nothing but make me extremely upset and I don't want them in my life anymore.
How to deal with scary thoughts...suggestions/help would be appreciated!
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Ld26angell
- Posts: 48
- Joined: Wed Mar 15, 2006 1:07 pm
From one Sufferer of OST's (Obsessive Scary Thoughts) to another, I know exatly WHERE you are coming from.
Trust Me!!
I have have OST's for about three years now but let me tell you, I am much better now than I ever have been.
First off, do you have the program? If not I would suggest getting it. Not only does it help tremendously but it helps with all the other characteristics that the "worrisome" person has. I am sure scary thoughts are a big part of your problem but the program helps you to see, really see head on, what "Character Traits" keep this whole Obsessive Thinking, Over Analytical, Pessimistic, attitude alive. By correcting those and making a conscious effort to change those "habits" because that is all they are, BAD UGLY HABITS, then will you find comfort and freedom.
It is NOT easy, I will tell you that. But I would say now that my OST do not scare me like they once did before.
Now getting to the thoughts I used to have- What if I killed someone?- I'm not HOMICIDAL
What if I killed myself- I'm not suicidal either- (as a matter of fact I can have a panic attack when someone mentions the word that is how much it scares me!)
What if I hurt my dog?- Huh?? My CUTEST YELLOW LAB, Piper!?!?!
They even took on some other wierd forms too..
What if I never wanted to leave my house ever again??- I was never agorahobic either
What if I could never look at a tree again?- I don't kno where the hell this one came from, but I do remember having it and telling my boyfriend who laughed hysterically when this one popped up. He has heard all of them befoe but this one was the WINNER!!- I think I saw atree that looked eerie and then the thought popped in. I don't know.
But now...
I can laugh at that.
When I hear news stories about people now, I can hear them, yes they do upset me sometimes, and I may think about them for awhile, but I do NOT obsess or Freak out like I used to.
Thinking back- my first one was staring by reading the newspapaer.
What you need to do is give up the "control" that you are giving to them. By saying "I hate them" or "I don't want to have them" or my favorite, 'WHY am I having them?"
You give them power, but when you can say "Ok so what, I am going to let this wierd thought be here and eventually it will go away. It does not represent who I am or what I want to do. It's just mental energy and everybody had wierd thoughts."
You can then diffuse it.
It takes tons of patience and tons of practice but the feeling of just being neutral to them, is yes very awkward and weird at first, but then you get used to it and they will just POP in and float on by.
It is important to catch yourself when you are saying," Im so sick of having these thoughts, why can't they go away?"
Because all that does is tell your self that there is something that you need to get rid of and you musn't think of them anymore! Well guess what. You set yourself up for more scary thought, frustration, and a helpless feeling.
But you are far from helpless. This is SO common for anxious thinkers, and it doesn't mean you have OCD either.
You are an obsessive thinker and that's it but you can cahnge!
Yes, I said that there are times that I have weird thoughts, but I do notice that they mostly pop up when I am stressed like for instance last week, we had my grandfathers funeral.
I miss him terribly, and I think of him all the time but during the funeral process I had scary thoughts, yet this time I knew it was my distraction to take my mind off of what was really going on which is dealing with his loss.
I am still grieving for him now. It hasn't even been a week, but the difference now is I am allowing myself to feel this and however long it takes it will go away. I am not reacting to it. The same has to be done with OST's.
Please Please Please get the program if you do not have it yet, and while your waiting for this gem to arrive, get Lucinda's Book "From Panic to Power"- You won't be sorry.
You will feel like she is taking the words from your mind and putting them on paper!!
Take care and if you need to talk, I'm here!!!!
Lisa
P.S. I went on Lexapro 10mg as well before- I am proud to say I have been on 5mg for about three months and I am soon going off the meds.
Trust Me!!
I have have OST's for about three years now but let me tell you, I am much better now than I ever have been.
First off, do you have the program? If not I would suggest getting it. Not only does it help tremendously but it helps with all the other characteristics that the "worrisome" person has. I am sure scary thoughts are a big part of your problem but the program helps you to see, really see head on, what "Character Traits" keep this whole Obsessive Thinking, Over Analytical, Pessimistic, attitude alive. By correcting those and making a conscious effort to change those "habits" because that is all they are, BAD UGLY HABITS, then will you find comfort and freedom.
It is NOT easy, I will tell you that. But I would say now that my OST do not scare me like they once did before.
Now getting to the thoughts I used to have- What if I killed someone?- I'm not HOMICIDAL
What if I killed myself- I'm not suicidal either- (as a matter of fact I can have a panic attack when someone mentions the word that is how much it scares me!)
What if I hurt my dog?- Huh?? My CUTEST YELLOW LAB, Piper!?!?!
They even took on some other wierd forms too..
What if I never wanted to leave my house ever again??- I was never agorahobic either
What if I could never look at a tree again?- I don't kno where the hell this one came from, but I do remember having it and telling my boyfriend who laughed hysterically when this one popped up. He has heard all of them befoe but this one was the WINNER!!- I think I saw atree that looked eerie and then the thought popped in. I don't know.
But now...
I can laugh at that.
When I hear news stories about people now, I can hear them, yes they do upset me sometimes, and I may think about them for awhile, but I do NOT obsess or Freak out like I used to.
Thinking back- my first one was staring by reading the newspapaer.
What you need to do is give up the "control" that you are giving to them. By saying "I hate them" or "I don't want to have them" or my favorite, 'WHY am I having them?"
You give them power, but when you can say "Ok so what, I am going to let this wierd thought be here and eventually it will go away. It does not represent who I am or what I want to do. It's just mental energy and everybody had wierd thoughts."
You can then diffuse it.
It takes tons of patience and tons of practice but the feeling of just being neutral to them, is yes very awkward and weird at first, but then you get used to it and they will just POP in and float on by.
It is important to catch yourself when you are saying," Im so sick of having these thoughts, why can't they go away?"
Because all that does is tell your self that there is something that you need to get rid of and you musn't think of them anymore! Well guess what. You set yourself up for more scary thought, frustration, and a helpless feeling.
But you are far from helpless. This is SO common for anxious thinkers, and it doesn't mean you have OCD either.
You are an obsessive thinker and that's it but you can cahnge!
Yes, I said that there are times that I have weird thoughts, but I do notice that they mostly pop up when I am stressed like for instance last week, we had my grandfathers funeral.
I miss him terribly, and I think of him all the time but during the funeral process I had scary thoughts, yet this time I knew it was my distraction to take my mind off of what was really going on which is dealing with his loss.
I am still grieving for him now. It hasn't even been a week, but the difference now is I am allowing myself to feel this and however long it takes it will go away. I am not reacting to it. The same has to be done with OST's.
Please Please Please get the program if you do not have it yet, and while your waiting for this gem to arrive, get Lucinda's Book "From Panic to Power"- You won't be sorry.
You will feel like she is taking the words from your mind and putting them on paper!!
Take care and if you need to talk, I'm here!!!!
Lisa
P.S. I went on Lexapro 10mg as well before- I am proud to say I have been on 5mg for about three months and I am soon going off the meds.
Hi Lisa,
Thank you so much for your response. I felt alot better after I read what you said. It really helps for me to hear that other people have gone through the exact same thing I'm going through, and that they are doing better.
I actually just got Lucinda's program the other day, and I can't wait to start it! I really think it will help me. I could definitely relate when you were saying that the scary thoughts come when you want to distract yourself from thinking about what's really bothering you, such as the loss of your grandfather. Right now I'm studying for the bar exam, which is really stressful, and some people in my family are going through some health issues. I'm really worried about those things, but instead of thinking about that I worry about irrational, useless things that are completely ridiculous.
Thanks again for your message and your words of encouragement. I'm also hoping to go off Lexapro after the bar exam...I have an appt with my Dr. in a couple weeks so we'll see what he says. I think that Lucinda's program will definitely help me as I try to come off the meds.
Hope you have a great weekend!
Emily
Thank you so much for your response. I felt alot better after I read what you said. It really helps for me to hear that other people have gone through the exact same thing I'm going through, and that they are doing better.
I actually just got Lucinda's program the other day, and I can't wait to start it! I really think it will help me. I could definitely relate when you were saying that the scary thoughts come when you want to distract yourself from thinking about what's really bothering you, such as the loss of your grandfather. Right now I'm studying for the bar exam, which is really stressful, and some people in my family are going through some health issues. I'm really worried about those things, but instead of thinking about that I worry about irrational, useless things that are completely ridiculous.
Thanks again for your message and your words of encouragement. I'm also hoping to go off Lexapro after the bar exam...I have an appt with my Dr. in a couple weeks so we'll see what he says. I think that Lucinda's program will definitely help me as I try to come off the meds.
Hope you have a great weekend!
Emily
Hi Russo,
I'm completely with you on the scary thoughts increase with stress. The higher my stress, the more thoughts I get. I will get so focused on the thoughts of having or going out of control and checking that everything is ok, that I don't worry about what truly is stressing me out.
For example, last Saturday I had to travel for work to LA from Chicago, and in the back of my mind was stressed, worried about leaving my family for a time. etc. Instead, I totally focused on the scary thought that I was going crazy, did something wrong and went straight into checking mode.
I've been experimenting with accupunture. It has seemed to help with my anxiety levels and scary thoughts, and I listen to the relaxation tape a lot. I made it out to LA and back no problem, and actually was proud of myself in the end, no panic attacks on the flights-nothing.
You will do great on the bar exam, and you are not going crazy-its the anxiety and OCD.
Lucie
I'm completely with you on the scary thoughts increase with stress. The higher my stress, the more thoughts I get. I will get so focused on the thoughts of having or going out of control and checking that everything is ok, that I don't worry about what truly is stressing me out.
For example, last Saturday I had to travel for work to LA from Chicago, and in the back of my mind was stressed, worried about leaving my family for a time. etc. Instead, I totally focused on the scary thought that I was going crazy, did something wrong and went straight into checking mode.
I've been experimenting with accupunture. It has seemed to help with my anxiety levels and scary thoughts, and I listen to the relaxation tape a lot. I made it out to LA and back no problem, and actually was proud of myself in the end, no panic attacks on the flights-nothing.
You will do great on the bar exam, and you are not going crazy-its the anxiety and OCD.
Lucie
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victorious one
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Sat Jun 28, 2008 8:18 pm
YEP, YOU AREN'T ALONE. I think what will help you the lost is to SHARE the thoughts that scare you. This way, the lying messages tied to the thoughts can get exposed, and the truth can be revealed. You might think you're the only one who's ever thought this or that, but once you share, you'll discover you aren't alone. People can help you, and you actually might even be able to laugh at the thoughts in the end.
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newjourney
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:02 pm
Hi everyone,
I've really appreciated everyone's responses to this topic. The scarey thoughts are terrible. But, mine are different in that I don't think of doing something myself, but i focus on all the terrible things that could happen from someone else. for example, i envision my 2 year old being kidnapped by a predator, or i envision myself dying of cancer... this visions are really realistic, right down to seeing my funeral and everything. sometimes i get so into it i am actually crying. i hate these thoughts. they feel like torture. but i really think what lucinda says on the tape is so true. i used to worry that my scarey thoughts were maybe premonitions, and then i would scare myself even more.now, i am learning that they are just thoughts, it really helped to learn that they are a distracting mechanism, so as of now, the next time i get a scarey thought, i'm going to really try and figure out what's really bothering me.
I've really appreciated everyone's responses to this topic. The scarey thoughts are terrible. But, mine are different in that I don't think of doing something myself, but i focus on all the terrible things that could happen from someone else. for example, i envision my 2 year old being kidnapped by a predator, or i envision myself dying of cancer... this visions are really realistic, right down to seeing my funeral and everything. sometimes i get so into it i am actually crying. i hate these thoughts. they feel like torture. but i really think what lucinda says on the tape is so true. i used to worry that my scarey thoughts were maybe premonitions, and then i would scare myself even more.now, i am learning that they are just thoughts, it really helped to learn that they are a distracting mechanism, so as of now, the next time i get a scarey thought, i'm going to really try and figure out what's really bothering me.
New journey,
I recommend that you don't spend a lot of time on trying to find out "why" you are having scary thoughts or "why" something is really bothering. If you don't get a reply in a few minutes then I'd like to recommend an approach that will end your fears. Focusing on the "why" is resistance and just keeps the scare thoughts coming back over and over. What you want is healing. Our scary thoughts come out of nowhere and randomly. It's just the nature of obsessive thinking to have random scary thoughts. The content is really not the issue.
Sit down and write your worst case scenerio and take about 20 minutes to write it. Then, once a day, read it for 45 minutes - even if that means re-reading the same thing 3 or 4 times each sitting. Cry, feel anxious, etc. whatever you go through. Don't try to fix anything. Keep reading daily until you no longer have any emotional charge with what you have written. You'll be able to let the fear thought go very easy after that.
I recommend that you don't spend a lot of time on trying to find out "why" you are having scary thoughts or "why" something is really bothering. If you don't get a reply in a few minutes then I'd like to recommend an approach that will end your fears. Focusing on the "why" is resistance and just keeps the scare thoughts coming back over and over. What you want is healing. Our scary thoughts come out of nowhere and randomly. It's just the nature of obsessive thinking to have random scary thoughts. The content is really not the issue.
Sit down and write your worst case scenerio and take about 20 minutes to write it. Then, once a day, read it for 45 minutes - even if that means re-reading the same thing 3 or 4 times each sitting. Cry, feel anxious, etc. whatever you go through. Don't try to fix anything. Keep reading daily until you no longer have any emotional charge with what you have written. You'll be able to let the fear thought go very easy after that.
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold
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Charlie Brown
- Posts: 442
- Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2006 2:56 pm
Russo21,
I am so sorry you have to go through this horrible form of anxiety. But fear not because many people--especially on this board--have scary obsessive thoughts and have successfully dealt/are dealing with the thoughts. I offer you this link to a thread in the OCD section.
<A HREF="http://bbs.stresscenter.com/eve/forums/ ... 056423/p/1" TARGET=_blank>http://bbs.stresscenter.com/eve/forums/ ... 423/p/1</A>
I am so sorry you have to go through this horrible form of anxiety. But fear not because many people--especially on this board--have scary obsessive thoughts and have successfully dealt/are dealing with the thoughts. I offer you this link to a thread in the OCD section.
<A HREF="http://bbs.stresscenter.com/eve/forums/ ... 056423/p/1" TARGET=_blank>http://bbs.stresscenter.com/eve/forums/ ... 423/p/1</A>
These past entries have been very helpful to me. I struggled pretty strongly a couple years ago with scary obsessive thoughts. I went to a therapist for a few months and was perscribed Lexapro - which eventually did help.
Now, two years later, I was feeling so much better that my Dr. and I decided that I should go off the medication. Although I did the proper "weining" I still have had obsessive, terrifying thoughts come back - and a host of crying spells, anger, etc.
I had purchased Lucinda's program a couple years ago, and since I was feeling better, I haven't looked at in a long time. A listened to lesson 10 today and it's really helped me. I also took iniative today to meet back up with my Dr. and see if perhaps I went off the meds to quickly - or if I smaller dose would help me until I get better control of these thoughts on my own.
It's great to know there are many other people out there who love their families, want good things for their lives - and still have these scary thoughts. Thank you for your posts.
Thought I'd add some of my scary thoughts - because reading others reassured me (and even made me laugh). Maybe reading my thoughts can help someone else.
-Cutting myself, cutting someone else with a knife
-Hurting my golden retriever - who besides my husband, is the love of my life!
-Throwing hot coffee on someone
-Biting someone else
-Choking someone else
-Committing suicide
All silly, stupid thoughts that I know I would never do - but still they horrify me.
Now, two years later, I was feeling so much better that my Dr. and I decided that I should go off the medication. Although I did the proper "weining" I still have had obsessive, terrifying thoughts come back - and a host of crying spells, anger, etc.
I had purchased Lucinda's program a couple years ago, and since I was feeling better, I haven't looked at in a long time. A listened to lesson 10 today and it's really helped me. I also took iniative today to meet back up with my Dr. and see if perhaps I went off the meds to quickly - or if I smaller dose would help me until I get better control of these thoughts on my own.
It's great to know there are many other people out there who love their families, want good things for their lives - and still have these scary thoughts. Thank you for your posts.
Thought I'd add some of my scary thoughts - because reading others reassured me (and even made me laugh). Maybe reading my thoughts can help someone else.
-Cutting myself, cutting someone else with a knife
-Hurting my golden retriever - who besides my husband, is the love of my life!
-Throwing hot coffee on someone
-Biting someone else
-Choking someone else
-Committing suicide
All silly, stupid thoughts that I know I would never do - but still they horrify me.
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chellebelle
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2006 8:36 pm
OKAY GUYS~ THIS WAS MY BIGGEST PROBLEM FOR A LONG TIME, NOW I HAVE TO SAY THAT IT REALLY IS NOT A PROBLEM LIKE IT WAS, I STILL HAVE MOMENTS WHERE I OBSESS, BUT I HAVE TO SAY THAT FOR THE MOST PART I AM FREE OF THIS TERRIBLE AND ANOYING PROBLEM, THANKK GOD! THE BEST ADVICE THAT I CAN GIVE IS TO TELL YOURSELF IT DOES NOT BOTHER YOU, EVERYTIME YOU THINK THAT SCARY RIDICULUS THOUGHT TELL YOURSELF, WHO CARES THAT DOESENT SCARE ME, EVEN THOUGH IT DOES, TRUST ME THE MORE AND MORE YOU TELL YOURSELF YOU DONT CARE ABOUT THAT THOUGHT THE MORE AND MORE YOU BEGIN TO BELIEVE IT, THE OTHER THING IS TO ACCEPT THAT THE THOUGHT IS THERE, I THINK WE TRY TO RUN FROM IT AND IT DOESNT LEAVE THAT WAY, HONESTLY ITS LIKE YOU HAVE TO SAY OKAY THIS THOUGHT OF (FILL IN THE BLANK) IS HERE RIGHT NOW, OH WELL IT WILL PASS, IT IS JUST A THOUGHT, PERIOD! YOU WILL HAVE TO DO THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN BUT YOU ARE RETRAINING YOURSELF TO NOT FEAR AND RUN FROM THOUGHTS! THE OTHER THING IS MAKE THEM FUNNY, I USED TO HAVE THE ONE ABOUT CHOCKING PEOPLE WHEN EVER IT WOULD COME TO MIND I WOULD REPLACE THE IMAGE OF ME CHOCKING SOMEONE I LOVED WITH ME CHOCKING A RUBBER CHICKEN! THAT THOUGHT IS JUST AS SILLY AND UNREALISTIC AS ME CHOCKING A REAL PERSON! GET CREATIVE, LAUGH AT YOURSELF! IT TAKES TIME, BUT GUYS I PROMISE THESE THINGS WORK! THIS PROGRAM WAS A WONDERFUL BLESSING TO MY LIFE AND I CANNOT TELL YOU HAW IT HELPED ME ALONG WITH OTHER THINGS, BUT THIS HELPED THE MOST! GOOD LUCK ON YOUR JOURNEY TO WELLNESS!