it returned, how do I snap back out?

[Guest]

Thank you all for your advice. I did talk to him last night. I had just ordered one of Lucinda's books as a refresher on my nightstand. He saw me reading it and asked me about it, so it was a good segway He said he wants to be there for me. I explained that I get obsessive thoughts when I am not compassionate to myself (actually, when I beat myself up constantly for months at a time), and that I know these obsessions are just that, but they still cause me anxiety. I think he really understood, which is surprising because he is so laid back and NOTHING gets to him.

Right after we talked I had gotten to the part in 'From Panic to Power' where Lucinda first talks about meeting her husband. I read the paragraph out loud to him because it was as if she had written it about us... I am the one that worries about everything and I envy him for his positive 'nothing can get to me' attitude. It was actually a good bonding experience.

Relative to the breathing obsession... I was putting away clothes last night around 11:00 pm. I had just taken a very hard exam at school and had a very tough day at work. I had also just started my period (sorry guys) and was just overall exhausted. However, since I had spent time online with everyone earlier in the evening I felt like I was able to not overreact to tired/sad/anxious feelings. I told myself to relax and that focusing on my breathing in a negative way would not accomplish anything. I have realized this before, but only after I had crawled out of an anxious period purely as a result of time, or things slowing down in my life. I was able to be in the scary moment and actually come out of it with my thinking!

I think the important thing now (which I'm beginning to understand after spending some time in the peer support forums) is that I may experience little 'failures' (I know Lucinda doesn't like that word, but I feel it's a little more realistic in some situations). I used to get so down on myself when I had an axious/scary couple of weeks (which happened about two times per year, not including general anxiety a lot of the time, without obsessive thinking). I used to think 'here I go again... it always comes back, yadda yadda yadda'. But now I am seeing that I am not one of those people who can just snap out of it overnight for good. I have spent so many years learning behaviors that contributed to my anxiety, and therefore OF COURSE it's going to take me a little while to really master this.

I think the issue is that it takes my stress a long time to build up enough to knock me off my feet with anxiety and obsessive thoughts. I easily get in the habit of not practicing compasionate self talk, dealing with stress, and all of the other things the program teaches. It's like I need a reminder to practice these things!

[Guest]

l too have ossesive thoughts and i dont know what to do i have become depressed and i am always in the house and my doc gave me meds for the anxiety but i keep having bad thought like ill pass out or nothing is real or did i wake up today is this a dream and thoughts about my pills i just want to be happy and i need to figure out how to stop this. i scare myself sensless . i have started to get out but i am so anxious and im trying everything to get better but i am not working right now and im ossessing about everything im worrried thisis more then anxiety and i have fleown over the cookoo nest i am doing the program and do my breathign excerice and waiting on an appointment with a dr but i feel so blue and scared the meds she gave me are from the tricylic family not ssri they dont seem to ahve to many side affects but i dont know if they will help with these thoughts . i try stopping my thoughts and im living in the moment but im scared.

[Guest]

selly32 I was thinking yesterday how even though I now have the tools to stop a panic attack, I'm still going to be fearful in certain situations.

So, it is okay to be fearful. Once you get the tricks and tools of the trade to lesson the anxiety and panic attacks, you will feel more in control, and will be able to go into all kinds of situations that you have to without worrying that you might freak out.

It is all about controlling that anxiety and being in control.

[Guest]

There will be a time, Selly, when you can shout to those thoughts: STOP!!!!

But not right now. Right now you need to practice allowing them to come and go as they please. Make them ok to be there. I know they are not thoughts you want. I realize this but just allow them to come anyway. Your resistance to them is what keeps them there. Breathe in. Say to them: "Whatever", and then move on with your day. Practice this and in time you will not have anxiety with those thoughts anymore. They'll start to minimize and they won't have the emotional impact that they do right now.

You may consider exposure therapy when you are ready. No hurry, just a suggestion for when you are ready to do that. You may wish to read, Freedom from Fear by Dr. Howard Liebgold. You'll find comfort there and he specializes in exposure therapy. But, again, as you are ready.

Start with allowing your thoughts. You'll know when you are ready for the next step.

Once you become relaxed with your thoughts (no more fear because of them) and sometimes they come in and bug you (which happens from time to time) you can tell them to "Shut up. You just don't have time for them today."

Shilfrah has given you powerful information. Just because we have the tools does not mean we will not experience anxiety anymore. It does mean you know how to handle it. With continued practice you will learn to become unafraid of the anxiety symptoms and when that occurs you have anxiety less and less. When it comes it comes with less emotional impact and shorter periods of time. Most of the time it's just a flash of adrenalin and it's gone. Some even say they never experience anxiety again. And, after session two, you never have to have another panic attack again.

You'll be OK. This gets better and better as you work the program.