Hello, Old Annoying Thoughts...what should i do!

thisAdventure · Post by **thisAdventure** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:47 pm

Hello everyone!

I lurked on this forum for a week before deciding to go ahead and participate! I am starting the program and very excited but wanted to share my woes and see if anyone else has experienced anything like this!

When I was in eighth grade I had a suicidal friend and I remember being traumatized from that. I caught her cutting herself in the bathroom and since then I've had a sort of anxiety/panic/OST thing going on...

Since then I have had these annoying thoughts of "What if I killed myself?" or "What if I go crazy and (insert something ridiculous)" or to be creative (thanks OST!) things like "what if i just jumped out that window!?

I haven't had this worry in abut 3 years but the other day those same thoughts popped up for no reason! I am going to Africa soon and am a bit anxious and I have been having relationship "confusion" lately and have had little to do with almost no stimulation this summer...but I don't know if that is contributing to the fear...I also have had an awful fear of death or becoming ill for the longest time up until this fear came back.

I am a generally happy and adventurous person, I love life, laugh for no reason, am easily moved to tears by stupid things like looking at nature (!) and i don't really believe i want to die but the thoughts are so horrifying!

Has anyone experienced this and is this normal/ok? I have a week before my trip and am feeling a bit beter (since finding this forum) but I though it wouldn't hurt to talk to those who may understand!

Any support or help would be amazing, as with many others it's getting so old and I want to just think on a more mundane level again, enough of this deep scary thinking!

Thank-you for even a word of suggestion!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 6:16 am

Oh you are SO normal!
People with anxiety often have upsetting fearful thoughts!
Its "normal".
Actually everyone does its just that some people can float with them and not think anything of them (my boyfriend) and some eally analyze WHY and obsess (Me).
I have had them for about 3 years now although I do have to say that I am receovering very very much fromt ehm, with the help of this program!
The first thing you need to do is NOT gove them any value, the more attention you give them, (whether it's by asking why, or thinking and obsessing about them) your giving it more glue to stick.
Once you can break that emotional reaction that you have to it, which is a scary feeling or you(as it still is for me, suicide, never ever was suicidal in my life but it is a HUGE fear for me) then you will see the thoughts can just float on by without YOUR reaction!
It takes tons of practice and patience but you can do it and once you begin to you will notice the cahnge in how you feel once you stop reacting to them!
Maybe your distracting yourself from your trip with your thoughts!
That may be something to think about?
What is it you don't want to face that you would rather distract yourself with these thoughts?
It is almost always something!
Hope I could shed some light for you!
PM me if you ever need advice or have questions!
ALso check out this article, it always helps me!
<A HREF="http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-elimin ... &id=231502" TARGET=_blank>http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-elimin ... =231502</A>

Thanks,
Lisa

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:07 am

Right now I am going through the same fear. I keep thinking "what i i get so depressed I kill myself" And that freaks me out. . And you know what, when i think that and I am not very anxious and It doesn't freak me out (still don't want to do it)I think how it didnt freak me out and than THAT freaks me out. LOL what a mind I have. I have been on and of with that fear and since recent stressors have come up has caused me to be extremely depressed that is all i can think about. Lisa, I know that most people get that thought when they're anxious, have you ever gotten it while youre depressed? I get it when i am both i guess and it scares me s badly though when i am actually depressed because i think what if this depression doesnt go away or gets worse and i dont want to live?! All i can say, ThisAdventure, is that youre not alone with these thoughts. I hope they go away soon

jess23 · Post by **jess23** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:54 am

You guys are so right. I stopped having scary thoughts because I was focusing on something else, but as soon as I quit here they are again. I can hear something in the news and it will stay stuck in my head for weeks. Comparing myself and thinking I'm I crazy like this person. My problem is not taking the time to use the program in the right way.