old obsession back

sunnyweather · Post by **sunnyweather** » Sat May 24, 2008 7:05 am

HEy there Mack- well you've already got some great advice from the posts above so hthere's not much I can add but I do understand where you're coming from- I've had some obsessions that were "weird" or "silly" and I felt exasperated even trying to describe them to the ones I love! But for me the most important this is still to remember that life is an ebb and flow of hard days and better days. I try to see my emotions as the waves on an ocean- just a particular feeling at that place in time given the circumstances (so when I'm feeling particularly low and hopeless I can recognize just because I feel that there is no hope out ther, doesn't mean that has any truth at all for my life.) I am the ocean itself, ebbing and flowing with te movements of the ocean but aware that the hard times AND good times where logic and reason can again help me see my thoughts fo what they are. I try to no longer attach SO MUCH of myself with how I'm feeling that day or what I'm htinking or what I'm feeling. It is all about acceptance, and right now, it probably doesn't seem like you can accept anything difficult right now, but just the mere fact that you are ready for change and can see the biggr picture (practice this in meditation!) you are on the right path.

Don't get discourage..no emotion is ever going to last "forever", just as no wave ever stays in the same spot in the ocean. We are ever-changing, learning, understanding our ways- just the fact that ou are out on this board asking for constructive help speaks huge volumes. That's tde first step- and we might need to take it over and over again- that's ok

I hope that made some sense- I just wanted to let you know I too have been discouraged and down inthe past but then I recognized good times ebb and flow too, so must the hard and difficult. We are all on the right path!

sunnyweather · Post by **sunnyweather** » Sat May 24, 2008 7:11 am

Oh, and what Martin70 wrote about picking one phrase to repeat over and over again helped me TREMENDOUSLY when I was in a long, loud cycle of obsessive thoughts. I didn't say it to distract, but to almost meditate on a phrase and shut my min off. The repetitiveness truly helps to relax the mind, calm the nerves a bit, and help to see things in a better perspective. Try just one short phrase (I like, "this too, shall pass") and repeating it when you hear the loud obsessive thoughts come through. you'll find that eventually you'll forget to even say it because your mind got bored with the obsessive thoughts and moved on to daily activity

mack · Post by **mack** » Fri May 30, 2008 6:41 am

Hey everyone! This music obsession has definately been a roller coaster ride. One day I think I can accept it and appreciate the music and one day I think it's going to bring me to the brink of total despair. I have the feeling that the stress of trying to make an up and down relationship work (we had a big cry fest last night where I thought it was over), and the stress of moving/graduating college is the center of all of this. I just can't get over the fact that I have this problem obsessing sometimes. Acceptance seems to be such a far fetched idea to me. Accepting that when I listen to music I will be in my head just seems impossible. All of your posts have been great and I'd love some more support. I'm going to a concert tonight with my girlfriend and the thought of it has me anxious. That really depresses me. I used to get so exited about anything dealing with music. I hope all that read this are doing well. Can't wait to hear some ideas. Thanks alot.

KDlady · Post by **KDlady** » Wed Jun 04, 2008 2:22 am

Hi,
Here's something I've learned about these obsessive phases: What I see you're doing (and what I do still, too) is focusing and dramatizing the fact that your obsessing about this. You know what you have to tell yourself, but you continue to harp on how uncomfortable it makes you and therefore are making a bigger deal about it. Go back and re-read Boon's comments because she's very straighforward. What she's written is the ONLY option if we want these obsessions to lose power.
I try to divert my attention back to that truth as much as I can. Yes, it's normal to get ticked off and down that this is a struggle for you, but then you have a choice from there. Re-direct your focus as much and as often as you can.
This is the slowest process ever, but I know now for certain that it's the only direction I can go if I want to make progress.
Hope you enjoyed the concert!