I need support from my group...please

earthangeljenny · Post by **earthangeljenny** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:17 am

<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">I can't believe I am doing this, but here goes. I have ben very very depressed lately.

My fiancee & I have been batteleing a lot. I now I am engaged to great guy...Eharmony Baby... But I feel Iam in a go nowhere relationship. We have been living together for almost 3 years...engaged fo 1 1/2. But I want to take this a step further. No nore livein relationship. I am not that young.. 54 and have always been married, well not the last 5 years. And I guess I just can't get the hang of the live in stuff. I want to be the Mrs. not the "My friend"

Second, I feel I am in the same situation with my job. Worked there for over a year. In that time I have put in transfers galore. I see everyone around me going places..even ones with less seniority. And still I sit. Their explanation.. I am good at what I do.. one of the best! So.. that hinders me from advancement. I see it as "You are too stupid to do anything else"

Even though in my life time I have been a Receptionist for 2 years, Ocean Import Clerk for almost 2 years, and a Private Secretary for Lighting & Sound firm for almost 6 years..until they went to only 10 or 15 hrs a week. So how am I too stupid for advancement? Has age limited me to whatever I can get instead of What I am able to do?

Please help me here. I work telephone and there are time when I start thinking of my life and I actually start crying on the phone. I try to hide it and stay cheery, but when the call is done, I make myself busy from the calls and go to the restroom to splash cold water on my face to cover the tears. Help..Help..Help..!!!!

I have no friends here as I jmoved here 3 years ago and find it hard to make friends. So please help me before I go crazy!

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Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:23 am

Hi Jenny:
Would it be possible to move out and live by yourself awhile. If it would be possible for you, you could work on being content within yourself.
After some unfavorable marriages (2), I found out that one needs to learn to live alone comfortably before living with someone else.
Just a theory I have. I married so young the first time that I had no idea what was involved with being married. Seems I had 3 children before I learned much.
That marriage ended 19 years later. That also was hard to get thru'. Then in my 40's I tried marriage again.
After that husband died, I finally learned how to live by myself.
I'm not saying live alone forever. But you want to be a Mrs. And it is not happening. So if you could get out on your own, you might find out what this man really wants. You might find out where you really stand with him.
And you might learn to like (even love ) yourself.
The program is wonderful to aid in that. Do you have the program?
If you settled this thing with you fiance', you might could get somewhere with the job situation. You might display more confidence in yourself and others would see that.
Just some thoughts.
I don't know if it will help.
Best of luck.
MJ

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:42 am

I agree with Cornflower Jenny. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:20 am

It doesn't sound like your employer thinks you are too stupid or they would have let you go by now. Some employers will keep someone in a certain position because they are good at what they do and they don't feel like training or hiring someone new. If you know this situation will not change and you are that unhappy at what you are doing you may need to look elsewhere.

Have you asked your fiance why he won't set a date after being engaged for a year and a half? Has he had a previous bad experience? If being married is very important to you and is something you can't compromise on, you may need to tell him this and be prepared to follow through with your conviction.