Separation anxiety...trying to start a new chapter!

[CG822]

I just turned 25 and I am still at home. The same house since I was 5 yrs old! WHile its cute and cozy and Im very well in my comfort zone and mom still cooks great meals, I NEED to get out and be on my own. Only Im having a terrible time trying to do it.

My mother is all I know. My older brother moved out at like 27a nd he never really comes to see her. My parents divorced when I was 5, so I rally held on tight to my mother, forming an unbelievable bond thats I am so grateful for. However, it has given me the anxiety of leaving her.

I almost feel guilty to close the chapter of growing up and starting a new one. I feel that at 25, its really time to move forward in an adult kind of way, it that makes sense! I feel like Im over one hump and trying to get on the next 25 yrs!

I have depression issues with men because my father left me at a young age and has not made ANY effort to try and have a stable relationship with me. Its heart breaking, but Ive decided to give up on him after much effort. Im emotionally exhausted by him. I emotionally exhaust myself if a man doesnt call. I hate it!

Anyway...how do I just get up and go!?? I know once I just "do it" I will be ok, however, its the "doing it" that just scares me and makes me so depressed to leave my 63 yr old mom, whom is 100% very healthy and looks 45!! She has her boyfriend of 20 yrs, but I feel that it is me who brings her true happiess!

[monty'smom]

From all I have learned on my own and through other sources so far is that we have to make ourselves happy...nobody else is responsible to make us happy nor are we responsible for someone elses happiness. It has to come from inside each and every person. You aren't ending the bond you share with your Mom you are simply growing for your own good...because you feel it's time to do so...right?
I was told that the hardest thing to do is learn to be truly happy with ourselves and be alone with ourselves and love ourselves enough to do what it takes to achieve that.
You can do this, as long as you really want to.