Anxiety,phobias, ex drugs user.

clickyclicky · Post by **clickyclicky** » Fri Jun 12, 2009 6:35 pm

Hello and thank you to anyone who reads this and responds.

I am 20 years old and I used drugs since 13 years old.

I started with marijuana and did alot of it, also experimented with psychedelics a bit, tried MDMA on a few occasions as well as cocaine. I ended up a heroin addict and on my 18th birthday I ended up in hospital due to to heroin OD and ever since have not touched any kind of drugs including alcohol.

I had a few anxiety attacks during the periods I used drugs but I really didn't pay any attention to them and thought that they might be a side-effect of the drugs I was on. They actually started happening after a girl dropped MDMA on my coffee without me knowing.

Since I quit drugs I have suffered from panic attacks which for about a year were really intense. After that they kind of subsided and I started thinking how much better I was and that I was getting back to normal again. Unfortunately though for the past 3-4 months they have come back with a vengeance. They tend to happen when the sun starts to go down or at least at that time I start getting anxious. I have realized that the source of my panic attacks (or my excuse for them if you prefer) is that I could possibly be on some kind of drug because e.g. someone forgot to wash a glass that I drank through or mushrooms on a pizza that were wrongly picked up and used. that puts me on my "waiting time" which lasts about an hour or so until I'm sure nothing is happening to me(i don't start tripping or whatever). Don't get me wrong I realize even when it is happening that I shouldn't be thinking something like that and that it's not even remotely possible for something like the examples I mentioned to have happened but unfortunately that doesn't take my panic away.

I'm sorry for the long post but I really don't know anyone who has anxiety problems/phobias and really didn't know where else to talk to so someone could possibly understand me..

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jun 13, 2009 6:42 am

I understand what you're saying. I used a few drugs (pot, acid, ecstasy) when I was younger and experienced panic attack like symptoms when I was on them. The worst episode was when I tried ecstacy. It was such a bad trip, it freaked me out and I stopped doing any drugs.

When I'm out where they are serving drinks I sometimes have paranoid thoughts like, "What if someone slips something into my drink?" (This happened to a friend of mine and it freaked me out!) So I usually just don't drink anything or just really watch my drink. But this really doesn't affect my everyday life.

I would recommend talking this issue over with your therapist. Do you have the program?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:47 pm

Hi theresa and thanks for taking the time to reply.

I handle the issue as you mentioned (not really drinking outside or drinking from closed bottles only etc.). It feels as a clinging thought. I might even completely forget about my fear (if for example I'm having a discussion) and go ahead and drink from any kind of glass/eat anything but then I get the "what if" thoughts.

She (my therapist) recommends that I actually face the situation and go ahead and drink/eat whatever I wish even if it creates disturbing feelings/thoughts and not let this kind of fear take over me. It's alot easier to say than do though. She doesn't want to put me on anti-anxiety meds due to my drug history and I totally agree on that.

I am also the kind of person that over analyzes everything that is happening around me.

The thing is that this whole situation appears to becoming a bit permanent (or the rate of change towards getting better is real slow) that I come to think, since I'm so young I really don't want to go on and live with these kind of fears and I really want to do something to eradicate them(as even I see them as really "stupid").

Also due to the fact I quit drugs, it caused a huge change in the sense of different lifestyle/friends and way of thinking in general and that certainly hasn't really allowed me to relax. For the past 2 years I have felt constantly on the edge (with a small break of about 6-7 months which for some reason that I am trying to pinpoint I was actually feeling better).

I do not have the program yet since I just discovered this website.

Again thank you for any replies and knowing that there are people out there who might share the same kind of fear as mine really takes a huge load of me.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jul 21, 2009 2:45 pm

Hi!Im Tammy. Im from Michigan.

I just read your post and i have the exact same thing. Although i am 29 now and do not use drugs i did until i was about 16. I had my first panick attack when i was somking some weed that someone decided to put something in.

I am always worried about purposley/accidently getting some kind of drugs in my food or drink. I wash everything before i use it (glasses plates silverware) (even at home) and only order a bottle of beer if i go to the bar and i have to see them open it.

I don't eat or drink in restaurants.

I know this fear is irrational too.

I even do not order mushrooms on my pizza for the same reason. I know it is silly.

I am absolutely terrified of drugs.

I am just starting the prgram (on session 2)
I have had it for about a year.

Besides the things mentioned above, i have severe anxiety with agoraphobia.
I can only go out in my "safe zone" which is a about a ten mile or so radius around my house.

Anything that is unfamiliar brings on an anxious episode.

I really really want this to get better, and am going to try hard to stick with the program and do everything it says.

Just a little surprised there is someone else out there who suffers the same way I do..