Feeling so terrible today

joy jenkins · Post by **joy jenkins** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 7:07 am

Hi, perhaps I shouldn't be posting this but I just feel so terrible I have to get a bit off my chest. I was doing so much better and now suddenly I am way down and feeling awful. I'm about to do session 5 and I keep putting it off for some reason. Can't stop crying, it truly is horrible. I think a lot of it is loneliness, when I think of all the people close to me I have lost, I just cry. Find I am way too sensitive as well, Someone just has to look at me the wrong way and I take it far too personally. This affects relationships with people, I know this, they don't want someone around them who is crying all the time, etc. I just pray this will pass. Can't even watch TV right now, find everything too abrasive and emotional somehow. I have to somehow get myself together today because I have a dentist appointment, probably just as well really to get me out of the apt. Could sure use some support right now.
Joy

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 7:16 am

Hi Joy
I'm sorry to hear you are having a tough time right now. Some days just take so much more effort than other days. You will be ok. This too will pass. I will keep you in my thoughts and I will say a prayer for you that things turn around. Good luck and God Bless.

R.Younger · Post by **R.Younger** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 7:41 am

Hi Joy, and I too had a day last week just like you are having (2 days actually). It just took me over. Honestly I think of it's like I had gotten good at kicking the feelings, that it caught me off guard to relapse, that I LET it consume me. So, I let go, I cried, in the tub, in bed, in the car, etc. Then, I got a great nights sleep on day 2, and I woke up ready again. Don't give in, let it out. I even cried at a diaper commercial because I can't have any more children!!! I DON'T WANT ANYMORE CHILDREN!!! LOL......smile......you know you want to..... and then pat yourself on the back for coming this far. My prayers and thoughts are with you today.

epa · Post by **epa** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 8:25 am

Joy I'm so sorry you are feeling so terrible today. I had several days like that and too could cry at anything and everything. It just seemed I couldn't get myself out of that slump no matter what I tried. I thought I was coming unglued and was way out of control of myself...angry, hurt, in physical pain all over, I even took it out on my innocent fur kids that I love with all my heart. I couldn't stand them barking, panting or following around as they always do. I ended up in my bedroom just crying until i ran out of teers. It is just an awefull way to feel. I'm sending you a big <span class="ev_code_PINK">((((HUG))))</span> and prayers that you will feel relief soon. Take care and everyone is here for you.

Lew · Post by **Lew** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 10:37 am

Wow I can relate. About 3 weeks ago I had two days in a row like you're having today. I felt incredibly hopeless. Mainly because it was before I began this program and was constantly asking "Why does this have to happen to me?" "Why can't I just be normal?" I honestly felt like I was never going to be free from my anxiety, like there was nothing out there for me that would help. It will pass. I felt like I had no friends, no one who cared about me and that no one would ever care about me because I was losing it. It's NOT true!! I am normally a pretty negative thinker, I have had low self-esteem my whole life, but I'm trying to change. If you need ANYTHING don't hesitate to PM me, I relate to you totally. But remember, the way you feel right now it will pass, it passed for me.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:33 pm

Hi Joy-

I wanted to just let you know that I've been there so many times. My problems usually arrive randomly and I know that I will either be super depressed or super irritated. I get angry really easily and take it out on others. But when I'm depressed, I take it out on myself with my thoughts and crawling into bed. I understand, I've been there - I've done a ton of crying.

I chalk it up to being a hormonal woman, but I'm positive that there are other issues with my anxiety and depression too. I try to say a lot of prayers, pay attention to what makes me happy and do them, and get support wherever I can (sometimes a stranger - sometimes online).

I will send you good thoughts and energy. I'm sure that it will pass and that you will look back at this and realize that you made it through. I hope that you are smiling again in no time. -J

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:37 pm

How did the rest of your day go, Joy? Did you make the dentist appt? I really wish I had come on earlier today so I could have let you know that someone was right there, knowing full well what you are going through...
...I hope you are ok...I hope lots of smiles and peaceful thoughts and feelings are on their way to you!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:15 pm

Joy; Never feel alone when you know that everyone on tis website cares about everyones progress. That forms a oneness that connects all our enregies and is manifested on this message board. When feeling bad just read post after post and feel the energy that was put into writing it. If you read long enough you will begin to become absorbed and begin to forget your feelings which I find lets them leave faster. Also I think the first time I heard this was in session 2 (allow yourself to feel this way. It's okay, just float with your feelings. They will go away eventually). It's not always easy. I just spent most of Monday just prior to and during work with tension in my chest and a lot of selfdoubt and frequent increses in heart rate. I kept working and on each new vehicle I diagnosed it got stronger and when I had finished the repair it got less.I was doubting my own abilities and I've been a mechanic for over twenty years. Thats plenty of time to know I'm capable. But the end of the day came and I was ok and had had a good overall day except for my negative thinkng causing bad feelings. today was much easier to think positvely. The same will happen for you. Get a good nights sleep and be proud that you had intentions of going to the dentist. Plus let us know how the dental appointment went. good progress and God Bless. I will pray for you., Bradley